ALCHEMIST
You may not know from looking
All you’ll see’s this cute disguise
But I am no mere mortal
I am more than meets the eye
I am a magician
And my mindset is my wand
I possess the power
To create the life I want
You can send me suffering
Or heartbreak or disdain
Go ahead reject me
Hurl your judgments, cause me pain
I focus on the lesson
Never linger on the loss
There’s nothing here of value
That was not learned at a cost
With the power of my mind
I change hurt into a gift
There isn’t an experience
My mindset cannot shift
Adversity refines me
And is for my benefit
And with my magic mindset
I make wisdom out of it
Everything that happens
Is exactly as it should
All that I experience
Is for my highest good
I love myself with fervor
And protect me with defiance
My perspective is so special
I should be researched by science
So go ahead and hurt me
Leave me crying in the dust
Toss me some rejection
I will turn it into love
I’ll never be a victim
I turn chaos into art
All your hate can hope to do
Is elevate my heart
I am a magician
And my mindset is my wand
I possess the power
To be anything I want
THE ONES WHO COULDN’T SEE
The ones who couldn’t see before
Through the smoke and mirrors
The gem, the magic,
the sheer brilliance of you
The ones who never knew
what was underneath
Begging to be seen
Standing tall and in the open
Filling up the spaces in every room
Absurdly beautiful and special and rare
Volume up and amplified
Living right there under their noses
Hungry for one drop of notice
Hidden in plain sight
The marvel of you, the treasure of you
The unexplainable perfection
of your presence
The ones who couldn’t see
That you are everything
The answer, the hope, the magic
That without even trying you just knew how to love unconditionally
Like some cosmic mystery
An unopened gift
The ones who never knew
all that you are
Were never meant to
Your light was not for them
Your beauty was not theirs to view
They crossed your path to share with you the ache of not being seen
So that you might learn to see yourself not through their eyes but through your own
Alcohol: A Friend
You promised me escape
Then made my problems worse
You said you were a good time
When all you did was hurt
You found me with a smile
Then left me at my worst
You dressed up like a friend
Then drug me through the dirt
You exposed the wounds
I pretended were not there
And poured them from my mouth
When I didn't want to share
You stirred up all the anger
All the sadness trapped inside
And burst them from their cages
Wreaking havoc on my life
You made me look a fool
When I said that I was fine
You stacked up all my failures
In a pretty little line
You forced my eyes to see
All the ways I was to blame
You made life hurt so much
That I couldn't turn away
I once condemned the world
For this shitty little life
You made it very clear
That the fault was purely mine
You showed me who I was
When I didn't want to know
And if it weren't for you
I may have never sought to grow
So I choose to thank you
For the pain you caused to me
Your influence was awful
But it was what set me free
THE WORDS
I will not hide behind the words
I can’t fit inside their walls and ceilings
There isn’t space for me there
I am an ocean too big, too deep, and too complex
Contorting myself to squeeze between commas and question marks is an outrageous endeavor
Words never do know how to hold me fully
Their efforts consistently fall short
These servants of my mind
Doing my bidding willfully
But always showing up too tired and overused
The words said or written
Full of feeling but not weighed down by it as am I
They attempt to carry ideas from within
To lift them away from the place they were born
So that others may know the hidden stories of my soul
But words are not weight lifters
And these thoughts are heavy
Words grow weary of the task
Like cardboard boxes trying to transport water
Upon arrival holding only fragments of what they were asked to carry
A partial glimpse into what can only be held by its creator
Expression fails for words can only say so much
The structures of languages demanding sense be made of unsensible things
Consonants and vowels volunteering their service,
Trained in sounds and not soul
Unqualified but still eager to go to battle and die unrewarded
What can be said of words
That words themselves would dare to say?
To fully state their uselessness the words must become cannibles
Be both hero and villain simultaneously
But they lack the power to defend or destroy
Not out of loyalty or instinct
Words do not feel
They do not desire or hate
They are merely scratches on a page
Words cannot be what we ask of them
Like toothpick legs attempting to hold up the Empire State Building
They tremble with the burden of the mission they’ve been charged
Words cannot serve what is stirring
Words cannot contain what is boiling over
For as the words dip into the emotion and turn to share a taste
The lot of it drips away
From thick lava boiling within to an unseeing , unknowing world without
A thin spread of words across pages or lips never do satisfy the craving to be heard
Unkept
I am not confined
by my environment.
I am not confined
by who I am in this moment.
I am not confined by my past.
I am not confined by my future.
I am not confined by my habits,
finances, or relationships.
I am not confined
by any part of my experience.
At any moment, I can choose
something completely different
and go down a completely different path in a completely different direction
and change my destination forever.
And all it takes is a choice.
I am not confined by my ideas,
my emotions or my fears.
I am only confined by my imagination, and my imagination is boundless.
AMBER DENISE
#poetry #poet #poemsaboutlife #selfawareness #selflove #personalgrowth #perspective
FORGOTTEN DREAM
I am the enchantment, the terror and the fragility of all that never was and all that may yet come to pass
I am the swirling current of potential of dreams not born but aching to live
The hope and inspiration that lives for mere seconds before being torn apart by fear and “reality”
Seeking always immediate expression and dying instantaneously when it can’t be worshipped upon arrival
I am the fire in a soul too long quieted, too long smoldering with the potential to heat the world
Longing to do what fire does…
Devour all that contains it and leave its environment completely and utterly changed
I am the words, the notes, the images, cascading over and through and across and away
I am innovations and ideas drenched in genius sifting like sand through fingers unwilling to make fists that may hold them in palms that may mold them
Ideas standing dutifully at the edges of the mind in anticipation of an invitation to exist but only ever conjuring a passing glance
Left wanting and neglected.
I am the unseen art starved for ears and eyes and accolades.
The beauty and love and emotion meant for brush strokes, empty pages and haunting melodies frenzied to the point of climax for the chance to draw breath and be witnessed but only ever witnessing the rise and fall of its own hopes of someday being
I am your untouched dream and I grow weary awaiting your attention.
I am meant exist.
#poetry #poet #poemsaboutlife #selfawareness #selflove #personalgrowth #perspective
The Edges and The Pursuit
The world outstretched in more directions than I can see
Than you can see
And than any mind can truly develop awareness of even if given infinite lifetimes to see, touch and feel it
Do not ask me to stay put
Do not ask me to stand still
Do not ask me to accept this exact iteration of life as all there is
Do not ask me to deny the yearning of my soul to see what exists beyond this moment, this emotional state,
and this identity
This collection of repeated experiences and routines, this tiny bubble within a limitless expanse, and this small corner of already witnessed world
My mind is not designed to believe it knows everything and be satisfied
To see the edges of its experience as the edges of the universe
To reach the end of some well traveled path to a popular destination and call it “all there is”
To see the dark as an untouchable mystery and familiarity as a comfort
My mind is designed to be aware of what it doesn’t know
To be lit up by a partially drawn map with unexplored roads,
dark, dangerous wilderness
and secret passageways
To crave to swallow up the unknown that exists while simultaneously realizing that this endeavor is impossible and cannot be done
My mind desires the adventure in surprise and the bravery in exploration
It revels in the knowing that the world doesn’t end at the tips of my fingers
No, the world is much larger than that
It is deep and long and wide
It reaches past the dark horizon and further than the light can travel
The world holds much that I have never touched yet still I dare to reach
It cradles more than I have ever seen yet still I dare to search
It has buried within it the secrets of all things for centuries, eons and ages
The consumption of which could both break and inspire a mind hungry enough to taste it
And I am hungry for the world
I desire it with my whole being
I prefer to go where the darkness lives
I prefer the unseen borders of the universe
The places within and without that most dare not acknowledge
I prefer to pour these minutes, hours, days and years into the idea that I may, in fact, see it all, be it all and know it all
Though each experience only proves to illuminate all that is yet a mystery
My heart delights in the pursuit
-Amber Denise
THE RED SUIT
I saw a bright red pant suit online and decided immediately that it was perfect and adorable and powerful and sexy all at once.
I decided immediately that I loved it.
I loved its sharp edges and the way it drew the eye.
I loved the way it couldn’t hide in between other garments.
It stated its case, and no one asked any questions.
This suit spoke truth unapologetically and knew immediately that all its trespasses were forgiven.
I loved the way it flunked out of blending in.
It filled up the space on the page effortlessly and stained my retinas with its brilliance.
Hating this suit would only increase its value.
The worst idea you’ve ever had would be worth 1 million bucks if it were wearing this suit.
This suit was IT.
And as I was falling in love, I found myself suddenly drawn to scroll.
Who was I to wear such a suit?
My closet, a sea of beige would surely reject this rebel immediately.
I saw some future moment where I put the suit on, admired myself, and then changed into something more quiet before entering the world.
This suit couldn’t sneak past a curious eye.
It couldn’t enter and exit without being seen.
This suit was the main event in every room it stepped into.
This suit was meant for a different type of person.
A person who stood out intentionally.
A person who felt comfortable being stared at and creating whispers in silence spaces.
A person who said no frequently and confidently.
A sacred rebel with no regrets standing firmly in their belief that they are, indeed, the most interesting person in every room they enter.
I lingered longer on the page against the directive of self preservation.
Screeching to a halt all that existed before… calling into question what is and what had always been, the self that I had never investigated deeply but drug along like an extra appendage that could not be shaken loose.
The scared, small, shrunken self dying in a prison of beige and aching for red suits and flashy jewels.
Who was I to wear the suit?
Who was I to want the suit?
Who was I to be fascinated and enamored by the suit?
Who was I at all?
All at once, I saw the truth, the answer.
This suit was perfect for me.
And I added to cart.
-Amber Denise
#poetry #redsuit #standout #authenticity #selflove #beyourself #ShineBright #over40 #poetrylovers #poetryofinstagram
Magic Mind
In the blink of an eye
There became the dream
It stood and breathed the air
Like a tangible thing
Stepping forth into reality
With legs it never knew it had
And wings to quicken
its progression
Without hesitation as though
it belonged before it existed
As though it knew itself before I did
Fitting there before me so seamlessly
that the memory of what was
becomes the fabrication,
the distant thing
History and lived experience becomes what is impossible to see clearly and feel wholly
As here what was once possessed
only by faith is my vision
standing in this place,
in this moment so certainly,
so clearly that it fades the before
and shrinks the between
And in the blink of an eye
There became the dream
Materializing like magic
from my mind
And descending suddenly upon the world outside of myself
not like a stranger
but like a home
My imagination brought to life
So perfectly that it is as though
It was here always and all along
Awaiting my hand to touch it
And my eyes to notice its presence
#manifestation #magicmind #believe
More
I deserve more
He is going through the motions
Acting out a relationship
But seeing, being nothing
Not present, not connected
I deserve more
He is reading from the script
Saying what people say
Doing what people do
No sincerity, just a nervous laugh
I deserve more
This is only a facade
I am here alone but with him
He is somewhere else
I deserve more