thoughts when I cannot sleep
Why does the cishet male community seem so celebratory of, at the very least condoning/unperturbed by their "boys" cheating on their girls? Obviously number of sexual "conquests"=elevation of status among their brothers, establishment of their "manliness" and sexual dominance. But cheating is only okay, if not respectable ("look how many girls you got trippin on you!") so long as it is on the males part; for the girl to cheat on their boy is abominable, prompting group slut-shaming of the girl. Yet it's okay for them? Obviously it's a misogynistic hypocrisy, showing a sort of us vs. them mentality when it comes to loyalty- females not deserving of their respect, their loyalty. But with females, it seems generally disapproved of for a girl to cheat on her guy, prompting her sisters to shame her for her "sluttiness" and betrayal of a good guy. Number of sexual "conquests," so greatly different from guys, is among girls too commonly seen as a depreciating factor, lowering their value and prompting girl-on-girl slutshaming to establish their own superiority. Obviously this is internalized sexism and sexual oppression but still the cheating factor and different views of it between cishet male vs cishet female is so fucking weird yet also completely logical when taking into account the dynamics of each community but still humans are so fucking WEIRD.
Gender
I absolutely LOVE seeing people externally project their anger at their own submission to and internalization of societal, often gender-based, standards onto others who actually don't comply with them. For girls, this typically manifests into a slut-shaming ordeal, where they pit themselves against the other, try to make themselves superior by demonizing the sexual liberation of the girls they should be supporting, where they are either a “hoe" or a "respectable" girl and all of this is determined by their sexual activity, with girls attempting to attack the sexual freedom of other girls in order to make themselves appear more "respectable". For guys, this typically manifests into a pissing contest, where notions of masculinity are glorified and those who fail to meet specific requirements in any aspect, be it how many times or how frequently they get laid or how they view other sensitive topics, other expectations of "manliness," are attacked and emasculated, made to feel as though they should be ashamed they donʼt fit into what "masculinity" should look like, with guys attacking other guys in order to appear more "manly." Gender roles and expectations are harmful, especially for those in the LGBTQ+ community, and incredibly cyclic between binary distinctions of "male" and "female” with each only fueling the other. Itʼs 2016. Break outside of societal constructs. Encourage others to do so as well.
*that first line is sarcasm if that wasn't clear*
Mabon
Welcome, my stars
and the growing night.
Farewell, my sun-
thank you for the blessings,
for the warmth
given freely from your light.
Till next year, long days
with radiance in the air.
Hello, extending nights
marked with a sense of completion,
a welcomed chill
bringing neutral, cyclic tones
for all to wear.
2:44 AM TUESDAY 2 JULY 2016
From what I've seen, the dialogue in America on bodies is far too focused on image and not actual health; skinny shaming, fat shaming, boob shaming, dick size shaming- there really is no part of you that's safe. I heavily condemn ANY form of bodily shaming, but at the same time I feel as though our culture really needs to place heavier emphasis on actual health. In regards to weight, embracing your body is undeniably important, but it's also important to acknowledge and consider possible health concerns, no matter what end of the weight spectrum you fall on.
Visiting Europe greatly opened my eyes to the fact that despite common claims in America about "unrealistic standards" (which there no doubt are) in regards to weight really are unrealistic for Americans. The "healthy" body is, unfortunately, quite unrealistic for the average American when you factor in the compounds of our food, the heavy cost to get around that, and our culture being dominated by fast food and the only-sixty-cents-more supersizing. Granted, it also is common for one to appear "foo skinny" or "too large" by general standards in society crammed down our throats through media and yet they could be perfectly healthy. Why not, instead of worrying about the bodies of others, take initiate and focus on your own? Love your body, but take care of it. Whatever that means or requires.
And the conversation isn't just on weight- standards go everywhere when it comes to bodies despite the fact that everyone has a different body type. Certain body types and aspects are glorified in one form and shamed in another, be it having a huge ass along with a tiny waist or having an enormous dick. The frequent ridicule, especially on social media, comes from and targets both genders (I'm not even going to address the disgusting hate non-binary persons or LGBTQ in general face). Men are expected to have larger than average dick sizes, women to have a perfect hourglass. These expectations come with ridicule if they aren't met, and oftentimes those ridiculed join in on the attacks. For starters, the emphasis on uncommon grandiose penises creates an incredibly harmful environment, particularly for adolescent males who can internalize the "unacceptable" sentiment, greatly impacting their self-esteem. We all know about the standards when it comes to women, and the objectification that falls hand in hand (I won't lie, sometimes I feel myself like my "worth" is affected by my cup size), but hardly any talk about or speak out against the same that men go through. Of course, it's not on the same fucking boat that women face, but it must be addressed as well.
The obsession with masculinity and tying in ideals of worth with penis size are incredibly harmful just as all other gender roles; the guy has to be strong, you know, and have a good sized dick- if not, we laugh! Everybody faces judgement. Consider that which you partake in. Look beyond that which you receive. Speak out against it in general, create open dialogues.
Land of the Doomed
People get a gun are therefore above nature; no fistfight ensues, no battle with only your body as a weapon- it's as if they become the God in that situation. They have man-made power in their hands that is superior to nature.
This power trip alone is dangerous- add into the mix the still alarmingly prevalent and present prejudicial and stereotypical ideologies in a myriad of magnitudes and it's a disaster.
In any instance, those with these hateful beliefs, when in a position of power- be it physical, occupational, political, or general situational- will far too often abuse that power, take advantage of their position to further their goals or express and enforce their beliefs upon the helpless.
Our culture in America is hyper-obsessed with and disturbingly prideful in regards to extreme military might, oftentimes intertwining social ideals of masculinity into the same boiling pot of what is deemed powerful and something to avidly seek, to be proud of. Our entire culture is a heavily-scarred pit, full of craters from previous cultural explosions, with undetonated explosives just laying, waiting, for the smallest of triggers. While definitely not of the free, maybe it really is the land of the brave?
America Was Never Great
Fuck anyone's MERICA pride nationalism bullshit. That's just a fuckin excuse to blatantly ignore the prejudice, hatred, and oppression embedded in our culture, or a euphemism to label their own similarly aligned bigoted beliefs.
You're really so fucking proud to be part of a country that poisons your drinking water, that is controlled by corporations with lobbyist joysticks, that creates catastrophes in other parts of the world, that is so covert with their dark agendas and manipulates mainstream media to further support it?
Or do refuse to believe anything of the sort?
Or are you on the spectrum of bigots, who see MERICA as a way to express your ideals of racial/cultural superiority, as an embodiment of "great" tyrannical, masculine strength? Red, white, and blue, love the troops whose sacrifices have hidden purposes? MERICA, out with all the criminals, aka the foreigners, the immigrants, those who don't worship a "Western" God? Because we're going to pretend like this nation wasn't founded by a fucking slew of immigrants, that destroyed indigenous peoples, and rose to might on the bloody backs of the enslaved? But that's okay, right, because they were white?
American culture is hyper-obsessed with masculinity and what it entails, thus enforcing corresponding roles and ideals of femininity, fueling rape culture to ridiculous magnitudes. American culture is hyper-obsessed with extreme pride and superiority complexes, and the excessive expression of such; Americans will boast loud and proud how much they love their country, and likewise use such "pride" to justify or support in some twisted, illogical manner obscene and wholly irrational superiority complexes, be it racial or cultural, and most often an intermixed form of both (as long as it's white, though).
Love America! Where a rapist, who was caught raping, gets off with a few months because we worry about how it will affect HIM and not the victim! Where another rapist involved in TWO separate rapes only gets probation! Where men of color in the same situations get far harsher sentences than their white counterparts! Where it's considered "stupid political correctness" not to label all Muslims as terrorists, most often coming from white Catholics/Christians, despite the extreme similarities between the two religions! Where we still have white supremacist riots! Where people still say "go back to your own country!" Where police brutality and fatally excessive force is considered justified despite loads of evidence just because the victim was of color or homeless! Where "religious" freedom is considered threatened by prohibiting discrimination, even though those who claim it will also tout their love for "America" despite its supposed inherent separation of church and state! Where many still want to dictate how you live your life, from gender and sexuality to jobs and clothing and roles! Where everyone thinks they're totally fucking free and loved by the same government that allows, if not welcomes, the poisoning of their food, the systemic attacks on their freedom and health (love you, BigPharma)! Where America might be kinda, totally fucking cool if you're a white, cisgender male who's as bigoted and ignorant as many, if not most, of the ideals our country promotes and supports (or has, as if racism isn't still alive and well today).
Fuck yeah, America.
You've gotta have some fucked up beliefs if you're proud to be an American.
Tribalism
In lieu of recent events, my over-opinionated self can't help but comment in regards to the amount of ignorance spreading across social media platforms.
First, gun control: personally, I see it as far too complex an issue to have any black/white resolution. Do you really think our "leaders" want us armed? The amount and frequency of mass shootings that attain national attention elicit massive public support AND demands for increased gun control- you can't help but wonder if many of the occurrences weren't organized with that exact result in mind. There are far too many loopholes that need to be fixed, but why are they there in the first place? Why did the FBI allow someone on their watch list to gain access to guns?
The media can't be explicitly trusted. Who funds them? False flag operations aren't some radical idea; from a strategic viewpoint, they are extremely useful and effective, and there are many inconsistencies that support the reality of their existence.
And events like the tragedy in Orlando only further fuel ignorant beliefs such as Islamophobia. And the tragedy brings attention to the realities of homo/transphobia- where these people are in danger solely for existing, much in the same manner of the fear perpetuated by racism.
All nationalities, all religions, all belief systems are subject to and susceptible to both prejudice and extremism; this is the reality of tribalism. In all of its forms, tribalism is the most powerful tool to keep the masses subordinates, as it elicits their own willing division. Religious, cultural, or any belief system perpetuates tribalism, and thus fuels superiority complexes that only serve to further divide people en masse and create numerous conflicts amongst them.
The problem is NOT one's religion or one's nationality- it is that any ideal rooted in tribalism, no matter how noticeable, is susceptible to extremism. Terrorism comes in many forms. Religious and cultural identities, more tribalism, only perpetuate the so-called justification of discriminatory+prejudicial ideals.
Come up w/your own beliefs. Educate yourself on the history of those forced upon you. Nothing is as you are taught to believe.
2:45 PM 26 January 2016
silver tainted red
as long as the candle drops
art is born by death
*if my memory serves me correctly, this was something I sent to a guy I was talking to, in response to some challenge of sorts, that is basically about chopping his dick off ;-) but, as with most things, the various possible interpretations are practically boundless, and I've come up with a few more meanings just rereading it.*