Woman I’m Holding
Never been enough for the woman that I’m holding
Not even the Queen of hearts I’m betting that she knows me
For what I am, a mirage of a dam
Gonna burst any second & flow hard
Show up and go shark
Let loose the tiger in residential parks
She’s not proud of my lose it all
I’m trying to change rearranging parts
Rusted, superglued in place
Never thought I’d make it to the race
Starved my horse left my barn in disrepair
Always shaded from the glare, aviator stare
I know baby it’s hard to tell I care
All my fucks get tucked into my gun
That’s a boy that’s been on the run
Now the man in me is testing fate for fun
Trust is not my crutch hard to lean on anyone
Got guts & blood like anyone why am I so tough
Sometime you know I wish I could give up
Never who I was, too much getting up moving on
Perfects motions watch me roll this blunt
Then kick & shove all the ones I love
Whiskey river blood, brain overheats without the flood
Never been enough for ones I’m holding
Not even the borg queen wants a chance at molding
The One
Never known for my patience
Yet I’ve been around waiting
For you to call me baby
All these lines that I’m tracing
Bring back around your hands
In mine, intertwined: on the lam
Been fine now I need to stand
Anywhere other than where I am
Give water walking a try
Been a shark, pirate might fly
Your flag for a awhile or die
For a chance to see you smile
Not known for growing up
Pain, liquor, fuck this cup
Can feel like two folks at once
Kill the other if you’re the one
Jaws
It’s been an attrition
On my innocence
Since that first breath
Not the same since
Eventually clicked
Fuck it, keep moving
A hippie shark grooving
Never give up/in/fluids
It’s been a long trek
No going back, inject
Fuel to my fire, reflect
On all I’ve seen, inspect
Every memory religiously
Even if you’ve forgotten me
Floating on a deep blue sea
Walk on it eventually
Doubt for me is a dragon
Anxiety fire about to happen
Kills the knight that I captured
That’s the first chapter
It’s been a page turner
Bridge burner, under dog certain
I was gonna over come it all
Too much blood in my water fall
If I go too young it’s my call
Devil probably answer drunk
Say welcome can you run
Hell for me you’re like a son
Naw, I’m done doing shit for anyone
Invincible
Get at me, show me what you mean
I’ve been in my zone, on my schemes
No one really knows the real me
Though I try, peeling scars aside
Do you like what you see
Crooked smile, agile
Outlaw tendencies
Heart’s taken so many shots
Barely beats, it’s running hot
Any day could untie my knot
Still cowboy up; yeehaw
Easy to feel invincible
When you do all the drugs
Still get the sober feels
Why I’m thirty five flipping cups
Single as fuck, kinda ill
Sick of this skin I’m in, too real
Beat it all, barely lived
Easy to feel invincible
Don’t take silence for weakness
Life is too short for blinking
Up and down I’m sinking
Pirate in me still sailing
You can hear my skeletons
From miles out as demons trumpet
My sins loud, my orders, still run it
Feathers numbered, I fall again
Gathered up for the spin
Didn’t die young enough, a villain
At least I’m not my parents
Easy to feel invincible
When you do all the drugs
Still get the sober feels
Why I’m thirty five flipping cups
Single as fuck, kinda ill
Sick of this skin I’m in, too real
Beat it all, barely lived
Easy to feel invincible
Wear a knife in my own house
For my crowd, who to trust now
Declared war on my doubt
Never running unless it’s this town
No backdown in my spines route
Flashing grins unexpectedly
Cashing in on betting I’d lose my seams
Know I seem invincible
When I do all these drugs
Still get sober feels
Why I’m thirty five screaming fuck
Single as fuck, kinda ill
Sick of this skin I’m in, too real
Beat it all, barely lived
Easy to feel invincible
She’s my main bitch
Stain, itch
Plain to see though
Complicated pain
Bone deep aching
Slain before I’m waking
Every dream I have’s amazing
Though it dies as it’s fading
So I’m waking baking
Fun or medication?
Drugs are lubrication
Keep me going;, flowing, racing
Woulda killed myself without em
Keep the plug on speed dial
Collect new scars add em to the file
It’s been awhile
Since I meant a smile
Don’t need a choir
Sing a song that’s wild
You got anymore
Drugs, drink love?
Watch me hit the floor
Come back more in style
It’s been awhile
Since I meant a smile
Can I get a amen for all my sins
Blend right in with a burning bridge
Guess fire is my gift
Or my gift is fire lifted
I get confused, depressed & used
Been different since middle school
Skipped the rest now I’m the dude
Sipping whiskey with the crew
Not a strain we haven’t blew
Been blue, a little outta tune
Hanging on the wall collecting dust
Getting fucked up is a must
Blooming from the mud
Keep the plug on speed dial
Collect new scars add em to the file
It’s been awhile
Since I meant a smile
Don’t need a choir
Sing a song that’s wild
You got anymore
Drugs, drink love?
Watch me hit the floor
Come back more in style
It’s been awhile
Since I meant a smile
Air Maxes
It’s hard to stumble in my Air Maxes
Just wanna chill and smoke kush
With the folks I would kill; die for
Bad news screws with your relaxing
That’s what the fuck weed’s for
Got enough I need more
A Sarlacc pit, I’m a nerd
Divided from the herd, misunderstood
Wouldn’t have made the cut in Noahs flood
I’m trying to make up for lost time with my mom
Do no wrong to the loyal
Foil evil where I can
Kick the devil with my Air Maxes
If that bubble burst there’ll be hell to pay
I’m the one that has to slay
Everyday till sleep’s my grave
Couldn’t half ass it if I tried even though I’m high
Thank God for marijuana and not much else
Feeling like the dust that never settles
Wish I knew swear there are no answers
Think I’m too scared to dance in my Air Maxes
Might scuff and fuck up my whole day
I’m more down for Netflix; relaxing
Need new sneaks fuck paying taxes
Out on the sneak in a new pair of Air Maxes
Can’t talk shit about this color way it’s the freshest
You couldn’t fit em I’m betting
Please don’t stain em with bloodletting
Lost my way somewhere in the nineties
Came back in some ol school Nikes
High & drunk is likely
Wish I could stay sober
Now that I’m older hope it ends quickly
Bury me in my Air Maxes
At least I die gifted
Hope I end up where my grandma shifted
Picture Perfect
I miss tangible things
Been numb so long I feel
Nothing when I bleed
Use to let it rush through veins
Now drugs occupy space
I kiss snakes kick angels
Flip cups and clear angles
Watch my back with snipers
Vipers from out the jungle
Time and space is a juggle
I'm magic to you muggles
Tragic when I fumble
Not the usual, close to the pull
Ripe ride in my soul, I'm full
Hungry sharks get to rule
Momma raised alotta things
Not a fool, covered in pain
Words my paint, Picasso ways
Tried my best to explain away
Ghost are still all I trace
Habits have me by the face
Punching teeth to my brain
Love me anyway
Brothers are memories to me
Red flags my forte
Tried my best to die young, close to forty
No best plans laid I pick up pieces
Rearange till picture perfect
Self Love
Starting to realize I didn't have to be so hard
On myself, life is enough of hell, I'm starved
Bent, broken; carved right into my arms
Everything I love about me is my art
That's a start, gotta climb to higher rungs
Bells been rung still standing strong
Nothing wrong with being wrong
Falling down, just no giving up your sword
Word to the ghost that haunt my core
Demons married my angels, wings tangled
Halo use to sit high now dangles
Faded though I look dangerous
Searching for truth through hatred
I'll be better tomorrow I bet
Been around the bend, back again
Threw my regrets at a blenders head
Too ready for my coffins threads
Old enough to know I'm still a young kid
Kicking rocks and belching sins
This trip around the sun is a flirt
Keeps me ten toes down and turnt
Up and down till I'm out and burnt
Scatter my ashes with wild ferns
Yes I'm blessed and that is my curse
Depression taking what I earn
Flipping pages through my comic haven
Ripping dabs and misbehaving
If I go before I wake please don't shake me
Rabbit
Had what I had, I grabbed it
Magic & my heart went rabbit
Hungry since young now ravaged
My zombie soul turned rabid
Guess I'm weird for sure a beard
Clear I'm much too high to steer
My consciousness got me here
Checked in, flipped fingers, beers
Now back to my demons
Had my seasons, gave me reasons
To give up and keep on bleeding
Fuck that, keep on rock & rolling
Pleading, calling; trapping, holding
Sirens got me in paranoia
Came so far to still skirt edges
Counting blessings next breathe helpless
Never give in, I'm alien & yelling
Phone home into the ether gelling
With fire just a phoenix rising
Had what I had, I grabbed it
Magic & my heart went rabbit
Hungry since young now ravaged
My zombie soul turned rabid