Anger
Anger is such a baffling thing. Such a strong and raw emotion. Something everyone has felt or experience. However I feel as though anger is one of the most useless emotions one person can feel. Mostly because half the time we don’t even know why we are angry because this emotion will mask grief and anxiety and frustration… if we were to sit down and ask ourselves why we feel angry and truly talk through it, how often would we find that Anger is the appropriate response?
Angry because your mother did this when it should have been done this so you just can’t understand… is it your place to be angry just because someone did not do what YOU thought was the appropriate thing to do? Angry because her thoughts and thought processes did not meet your own?
Angry because the restaurant was out of that one food you like and it’s been a terrible day…is anger the necessary emotion to feel when there is quite honestly no one to be angry at? The universe maybe but it’s never cared before. Maybe the real emotion behind the Anger that so quickly drives itself to the forefront of your brain is disappointment, or exasperation from events leading up to this…
All of this to say that anger has no place as a leading emotion. It’s sucks the energy from your body like a parasite. It causes you to act irrational and at the end of the day when the exhaustion takes over your body was it even worth the Anger that was felt all those moments leading to this point? Probably not.
Isn’t it interesting the superstitions we believe in… the full moon brings out the crazy, death or bad news comes in threes… don’t say things are going well at work ESPECIALLY in the medical field either human or veterinary medicine. We can discount the superstitions and say they aren’t true but in my experience, full moons mean late night filled with tears, and every time I receive bad news I try to guess which other two things could go terrible wrong. It’s interesting and a large part of me believes it all to be true. Because at night when I’m driving home from a day filled with euthanasias and I’ve told my family they have to say goodbye to their loved one and I check my phone to discover my own baby has been long gone for 48 hours it hurts… it hurts terribly bad and I look up at the sky to pray to God and there is the moon. Full and bright… shining as bright as the sun sometimes almost as if to mock me. The sun is warm and inviting and the moon is filled with mystery and sadness. The moon follows me home and tucks me into bed and tells me to have a good nights rest but at 3 am I toss and turn and the light is shining so bright through my window it must be morning but it’s not. It’s the Moon… mocking me again.