It’s Just the Change
The world burns.
Everything seems to come
crashing down all at once.
Hope, joy, happiness. Nothing
feels real anymore. No one knows
the future. Even less people
seem to want to find out.
Clarity is hidden behind
a cloud of smoke and a pile of ash.
People cry.
Others scream in agony.
Everyone just wants it to return
back to normal. There's no such thing
as normal anymore. Now,
it's just the future.
It's just the change.
When
A blanket covers the ground, but not enough
to make it stick. It stays on the leaves
though well past midday, until the sun
hits the ground just right and the hope
disappears. People pull off jackets.
They continue to complain about the day, but
in the back of their heads they're happy
it's not cold out just yet.
Darkness covers your eyes
And leaves it sitting still
Without a tear on your face
And all that's left until
You scream and cry for help
But no one can hear you
At least, that's what you think
But you never knew
That maybe they did hear
And they wanted to help
But you wouldn't let them
All you did was yelp
The pain felt too much to handle
Though it also felt the fall
And even though it scares you
The silence meets us all
To go up
I want to go up.
To where, I don't know
but I know that it'll be
somewhere I've never been before
Maybe if I try hard enough
I could float into the sky
and never come back down
no matter how hard people call
And when they think
of me in the future they'll just say
oh she's the girl who went where
no one else could ever find her
And I would just be watching
from wherever I am, and maybe
If you're lucky enough
You could join me too
Maybe
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to get the hell out of here. Just to take off into the darkness outside, and wonder when I would see anyone again. Maybe then I could finally do what I want to do. Maybe then I could write what I want to write.
Or maybe nothing would happen. Maybe I wouldn't change at all. I'd still be the same person, sitting on her bed watching the sky outside turn from blue to purple as the sun sets.
Or maybe I would become someone completely different. I could be a pirate, living my life on the seas and fighing people for gold. I could be a popstar, singing to places I haven't even heard of and listening to people sing along to my songs. I could be a hermit, living in the corners of a hut, no one around to check on me anymore.
Sometimes I want to change. I want to be that person everyone says is so cool. But then I realize that it's not possible. I'm still me. I write stupid stories that make no sense. I sit on my bed and pretend like someone is sitting next to me so I can talk to someone. I check my phone every five minuntes just to see that no one has texted me.
It's okay. In my head, I'm everyone I want to be. And maybe, someday, that'll all come true.
Moving on
There was a time when
I held your hand. You couldn't
squeeze back, though I knew
you wanted to. You couldn't speak,
but the words "I love you" sprang
from your eyes. We didn't think
you'd move on so fast.
They told us you had months, but
they were wrong. Now my hand sits empty,
and the smile on your face is gone.
Your voice still echoes through
my mind, as if you're sitting in front
of me again. I wonder if it'll ever get easier,
but then I remember that life moves on.
Even when I don't want it to.
Future
I want to sit by the lakeside and stare into the future. Who knows what's there. I'm not sure I'm ready to visit the future just yet. It'll be here soon enough.
I don't want to go into the past either. There are too many scary things I've seen, too many thoughts I'd rather let die in history.
So maybe I'll just explore the present. The lake's edge. The dark trees. The fading stars. Because soon enough, this will be the past. And I'll be in the future.
Fly
A flicker in the air catches my eye. Is that what I think it is? Nah, it can't be. Magic isn't real. That's something for fantasy stories, ones in far off lands that no one but the author has known about before.
But there is it again. Another flicker of light bouncing from one space to another. I want to catch it. To see where it will take me. Maybe it'll take me to that far off place. Maybe it'll give me new powers I never saw coming. Maybe I'll be able to fly.
I would love to fly. To whisk around through the air, looking at things from a bird's view for once. I would never have to walk again. Instead, I could just jump off the ground and soar through the trees.
But magic isn't like that. I see the flicker once more, and then I understand where it's coming from. One little look, and I see a girl sitting beside her grandpa, listening to his story for the first time. She laughs as he acts out an angry ogre stomping around the room. I see a guy nervous to ask out his crush, wondering if she really would turn him down like his friends said she would. But he does, and she says yes. I see a hardworking woman who wants nothing more than to help her famil get the promotion she was going for, finally able to stop worrying about putting food on the table for her children.
That's the magic. It's not getting powers or going to a land far away. It's being here. In the moment. Ready for the future.
The Man in Black
I said I'd wait.
I don't think that's possible anymore.
Even in the darkness, I know
you're not there. I wish you were.
I feel the pain coming.
Is it supposed to feel numb?
I wouldn't know, I've never felt
this much pain before.
Someone squeezes my hand.
I wonder if that's you
and you have returned to say goodbye.
I want to say goodbye
But no words come out.
Instead I sit quietly on my bed
and hold your hand for the
last time ever.
I feel it come before it's there.
One more breath, is all I have
left. I squeeze your hand once more
and let the man in black lead me on.