sometimes I feel like I'm always going to be broken
if therapy can't fix me, how will I ever become whole
I can't remember a time where I didn't hate myself
where I didn't overthink anxiously about every little thing
I really thought therapy was the answer
I really thought I'd beat it this time
and somehow I didn't even get close
maybe happiness is just not meant for me
a life of solitude and sadness is more familiar
nobody I love actually ever stays
what does that say about me?
I give so much of myself to everybody else
and never get anything in return
there is nothing left for me
how naive younger me was to think
moving out would actually solve all our problems
there's only one thing that would fix this problem
and unfortunately I don't have the courage to do it
college
I thought that this was my fresh start
But everythings just falling apart
No time to sleep, no money to eat
And no air that my lungs want to breathe
breathe
i can't breathe
how do i breathe?
i can't remember how to breathe?
please, i just want to breathe
...
i’m haunted by the words I’ve heard,
the words that hurt, that take root inside my soul
years down the road they come back,
tainting the place i’ve made my home
quarantine
there is too much time.
i am stuck here inside,
with me, myself, and i,
in my head all of the time.
all the days run together.
there is no end in sight,
no light at the end of
this really dark tunnel.
there is too much time.
i just want to go outside,
but there is nowhere
and no one to go out to.
i constantly feel alone.
the future is not assured,
what will the world look
like when we all return?
there is too much time.
lies and deceit
in this crazy world it is every man for themselves...
and it is naive to believe that everyone is honest.
everything people do has an underlying purpose,
whether they realize it or not.
people just do not care as much anymore.
genunity seems to be something most are lacking,
it is all about reputation. everyone is a pawn
in someone else's game, disposable once played.
I cannot believe I stayed so long when nothing I did was enough for you.
at one in the morning waves of exhaustion begin to hit, as does the stress.