Additicted
off the paper
Slipping back under the sheets
Falling back through the door
breathing it in, out
the taste of strawberry on my lips
you, you think i'm vaping?
no
I'm sucking the alcohol from the page
breathing it in, licking, wanting more.
So, just for this moment let me live in my head
the ink floods my mind
the book
it keeps me up at night.
Its just a made up story
but I want it more than I want life
but the harsh truth hits me
the character, he's in love with me
I'm in love with him
but I'm in love with an idea
he'll never hold me, never kiss me
Sad new world that I love, but how?
I can't live in it, why can't I?
I'm telling myself that I don't live there
but I don't care
when the blood flows I cry
When the sun shines we'll laugh together.
I know, I'm addicted
but I can't help it
I hate it and I love it at the same time.
Hiding all my sins from the daylight,
can I spare the mercy to myself?
No, because the pain it hurts. To much.
You and I, we drink the poison from the same page
I'm trying, but I want to keep going.
I love it and I hate it at the same time
running from what this world has to offer.
Will you join me?
Can you please help me turn?
Will you run with me as we suck up the ink?
Will you fall with me when he's perfect?
I'm sorry I asked
I'm sorry that I showed how addicted I am
but some days, it's hard. Because I'm a fool,
a fool who's in love
with
the one of a million
in the story
I don't live in,
Until the covers shut
I'll cry, laugh, and feel anger.
But, even though the pain tears me
the scars are real,
I'm addicted.
The more I heal, the more I hurt
I don't physically cut me
but
i keep
taking this knife
into my heart
over
over
over
over
over
again and again
So I'm sorry
sorry for asking
sorry
for being
addicted.
sorry for getting excited,
addicted i will stay though I'm
in pain, and
reading.....
Read it backwards now