Limerick(s) of the Week # 53: Great Persons Graded Personally
Thomas Edison, a great inventor, we think
Defined success for those on the brink
As 10% inspiration
But 90% perspiration
Which proves all geniuses stink
Einstein tried to unify fundamental fields
In Theory, of Everything, minus one, unrevealed,
'Cause gravity got the best of him
When he couldn't lift the floor from his chin
After slipping on the quantum banana he peeled
Madame Curie loved seeing through things
With the radiation that the letter-X brings
But she just didn't figure
That the fallout was bigger
When her little lady fingers caved in
Alexander Graham Bell
Would make it easy to tell
People far away
What telemarketers say
When they cold-call you to spamly oversell
Leonardo da Vinci took a girl
Mona Lisa, to canvas and oil
But in Renaissance zeal
He tried copping a feel
Which is why she gave him that look
Pervert Guglielmo Marconi
Loved hot, his day's macaroni
But microwaves he broadcast'a
Were too hot for the pasta
So he live-streamed his balls and bologna
Two Brothers were certainly right
About how heavier-than-air could take flight
The others crashed twice
And some even thrice
So two or three wrongs don't make a Wright
Louis Pasteur got concerned
When all his attentions to his lady were spurned
He offered milk of human kindness
She said, "Shove it kindly up your ass!
Unpasteurized, it must've soured and turned
Archimedes said, "Eureka, I've found it!"
When he put hot water around it
His erection was buoyant
With empiric enjoyment
But the water displacement had drowned it
Hedy Lamarr was a Hollywood beauty
Who wanted to do her immigrant's duty
She went from Howard Hughes-bopping
To frequency-hopping
'Cause she loved radar more than her booty
_________
BONUS: the inventor of divorce
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Henry the VIIIth was a big thingdom
Who was above all living things in his kingdom
But a corkscrewy spirochete
Chartreuse and indiscrete
Took him down to his grave a'dribbling