SICKNESS (The glory is His)
And WHAT precisely am I to even DO when what you ask for is EXACTLY what I give you, when then you turn against ME and perpetually choose YOU and I am left confounded-
Because this is what YOU expressed you wanted, and after all is said and done, I AM THE ONE LEFT HAUNTED, misled, chastised and JUST like before, you sat back, you applauded… You basked once again in my pain
WHAT was or is that you in ANY respect gain…? By leaving me scorned, YOU swallowed the wolf's bane, "I'm sorry(ies)" chased with 'but-' renders your 'apologies' inane and I have grown tired of your little boy, amateur game
Because, my dear love, there's not a THING you could DO, I'll let you 'think' I'm behind, but run circles around you, you'll think you're 'ahead', but, sweetheart, I'm MILES before you and you simply aren't capable of outrunning-
Outwitting or surpassing- dumbing or numbing -and because of those reasons, it's for me you are gunning, like a precious stone, my mind is HARD, it is stunning, a steel trap, it is an expert in blunting, it's cunning
So, even WHEN you 'calculate', even WHEN you 'scheme', all that you imagine is simply a daydream without mean, an attempt through which I have ALREADY blown holes and your arrogances STREAM, my sympathy for you has run dry
"Through sickness and health", I'm bound until I die and though it absolutely SHOULDN'T, my bind to you makes me cry, and in this way, you claim victory yet it's a lie and there's not ONE of us who shouldn't be humbled
I thought I had it together, thought I was in control until I crumbled, my prayers to Him were whispered, they were hastily mumbled, and so through the days, I tumbled, lacking light, I stumbled beCAUSE I turned away
…I struggle to locate a reason to stay…
But, once more, my dear love- if that term of endearment isn't itSELF a lie -YOU ARE NOT MY SAVIOR, you are a power-thirsty, glory-thieving guy, I thank Him daily for walking WITH me, regardless of not understanding WHY- I HEAR HIM AS HE IS MY SAVIOR
So, come on now, take a break, do yourself a favor… Accept you have NO control, realize you are NOT king; you're solely a dominance craver, and I choose to stand BY you, you foolish thing, you misbehaver, and you will NEVER receive my whole being- the very thing you so savor