I'll play you're silly game. What do you want to hear--that I've discovered the key to happiness and here's what you need to do; that I'm tragically broken and even if you could help I wouldn't accept it; that I've found Jesus and everything's going to be alright... as soon as I die; or maybe that I'm climbing toward forgiveness on a escalator going down into regret? Well, the short answer is yes--they're all true.
We aren't so one-dimensional that any single emotion, or lack thereof, can encompass our entire state of being. Am I happy? Sure, sometimes. Sometimes not so much. Sometimes it's the furthest thing from my mind. Sometimes I'm freakin' ecstatic. Right now, my feet hurt, my fingers are a bit raw, my back is sore, and I've got some chafing that's pissing me off. I'm also sitting in air conditioning, in a nice office chair, and I've got the ability to play chess with one guy in Australia and another in Hawaii, I can read bootleg poetry from people around the globe, research the value of a C.M. Russell painting, execute trades in the stock market without a broker, learn about the Heian Period of 8th and 9th century Japan, and watch endless silly cat videos until I forget about what happened in the stock market. How can I not be happy with all of that? And that's all right her at my desk. Imagine what wonders await if I were to leave the room!
There's a girl who kind of likes me somewhere around here. She's probably thinking about some clever new way to remind to do something for the eighth time without seeming like she's nagging. I can't afford the truck I want, but I can afford to eat pretty damn well. I can hold my own in a conversation with very intelligent people, and I still forget stuff when I go shopping if I don't have a list. I was at Ace Hardware today. Paradise by the Dashboard Light was playing. I was singing along and dancing in the aisles. I cannot sing or dance. I enjoy studying history, but I see it repeating itself. I relocate rattlesnakes for cash and glory, and I cannot stand when I get a rogue hair in my mouth. Life is multi-dimensional.
Happiness is really just a matter of perspective, as are all things. Without an intimate awareness of cold, you can't fully appreciate hot. Without having experienced awesome, you can't fully grasp the depth of true suck. It's easy to get lost in the rabbit hole of self-loathing and despair. Eventually you become sick of it, tired of it; and when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired... then you change.
Happiness is just around the corner. It's in the lost dog you reunite with its owner, in the old man with his walker when you challenge him to a foot race, in the scowling stranger when you compliment his shirt, in a spotless windshield, in a memory of a deceased friend, in an insect whose life you spared, in freshly washed towels right out of the dryer, in a perfectly timed photo-bomb, a phone call to a sibling, a twenty-foot putt that barely misses, a kid carrying her favorite cereal toward mom's shopping cart, a really, really long funeral procession, a proud new father holding his baby, opening a jar without having to use that stupid grippy thing, Old Glory waving perfectly in the wind, an unreasonably large tip for a waiter/waitress. The only place where happiness cannot be found, in fact, is on the other side of the bed. It may look strangely appealing, but trust me, you will not be happy there.