They say that God never gives you more than you can handle. So, I guess he’s testing the tension of my line.
I was hanging threadbare for quite some time, but my line has since snapped. And I’ve been in a slow motion free fall ever since.
Slow enough to contemplate all that was before, all that it became, and now how it will all end.
I keep falling and I can’t breathe.
I keep imagining myself a cat. A cat that’s on its 9th life. Wandering off into the woods to die to spare others the trauma of it all. I keep thinking about how much easier things would be for everyone if I was just a cat.
My light has left me in the dark, but perhaps that in itself is a blessing. At least I won’t see myself crash, shatter and then implode into the pavement.
I’m sad, angry, disappointed, tired, alone and broken. I’ve done all that I can possibly do. And all I have to show for it is a tired and worn out mind, body, and soul, that’s left to wonder…
what was the point of it all?