Leaving Love Behind
First, there was a smile.
I'm a sucker for smiles, and maybe you picked up on that,
or maybe you know your smile gets you anything like the drop of a hat
It's kind of sad how quickly I fell into a spell of anxiety,
but your magic works quietly
and the inquietude you created was exciting.
Excited to see you
excited to leave you because that meant
I got to experience seeing you again and I lent
So much of my time to thoughts of you that I was caught in you
And you knew, you knew just how to get through
To me even when I had guards up for the whole year.
The year I had gatekept unlocked
Easily, unnoticed, under your dextrous hands,
And looking back I would have done anything at your command
If only you had known that I would have done anything on your whim
That while you were still looking at other girls I only had one "him"
That you manipulated me just the way I wanted you to.
And looking back,
That was exactly why I loved to love you so
Like time away was a blizzard and you were the only home
for miles because I couldn't see how many others
had pulled themselves to your hearth, but now I stutter
a good bye to you,
a good luck to you,
an I loved to love you the way you loved for me to do
but I finally see the other people,
so to find myself, I choose to lose you.