To the east, I shall fall
If the sun were to rise in the west and set in the east,
I find I would want to run with it's uncoordinated direction,
propelling myself into unconventional momentum.
I do not wish to follow the way of the world as it is now,
I do not wish realism, I miss the radical romanticism that possesses my heart and trails into my work.
If snow were to rise in solid formation towards the sky
I would want to rise with it.
I wish to stand tall
These daydreams hold me in lull with the poles
but I continue to feel suspended,
gravitating towards the earth following the right not the left, clockwise not counterclockwise,
and it feels wrong my compass feels off,
the needle bent from pressure,
it seemed I have always felt off.
when I met you it changed,
for once I was being unconventional with you
and I was happy
I felt free
I felt alive
finally floating upwards
chasing those dreams even if they set in the wrong direction.
But I am sedated and the world passes me by in proper directionality
missing the feeling you gave me
missing my daydream
where I could make decisions without doubt
now doubt restrains us
grounds us to reality
switching our thrusting to pulling,
maybe it is just growing old
and making substantial decisions
but I have slowed down
and my heart beats ten beats less than before
I am faltering
my compass is wavering
But maybe looking backwards west has always been my problem.
The sun does not rise in the west.
it will not rise no matter how hard I wish the light to bask me
no matter how hard I look into the past
I will not see the future
(it won't give me life just moments).
so I suppose I must look to the east
look up to see the snow fall so that it may rise again in another form,
I've been looking in the wrong direction
the direction that has been crushing my heart
confusing my heart, my compass
and it is time
that we look forward together
to not regret what we have left behind
but rather what will come of us
what will come of how we chose to embrace the constants, the unchangeable.
what will come is up to us
it is up to me
and the direction I shall chose to take.