Hello

“Hello.” I gulped while picking up my phone. “Why didn’t you pick it up earlier? I called you so many times.” an angry voice said from the other end. “I’m sorry, I told you I’d have a busy day at work today, right?” I said, looking around if there were people nearby to overhear my conversation. “Your job isn’t even a real job. Stop pretending like you’re busy. You were just hanging out with your friends right? Were there other guys?” he asked. “You know I only have two friends at work: Melyssa and Azure.” I sighed. “Don’t fucking use that tone with me.” he yelled. “I… But…” I swallowed down my words. “I’m sorry.” I looked down at my feet shamefully. “It’s okay baby, I love you so much. You’re my world, you know that right? I’m just worried Pumpkin, so don't get upset. I’ll see you later tonight. Bye Pumpkin.” and the call got disconnected. I always hated that nickname. Pumpkin. It made me feel icky and gross. I genuinely hated it.

I shrugged off my thoughts and headed back into my work station. I blankly stared at my laptop. I only had a little bit of work left. I nervously stared at my screen. I had my mouse lingering on an article’s link. I clicked on it, gulping. The article described my relationship almost perfectly. Manipulation, gas-lighting, love bombing and emotional abuse. I knew something was wrong. I actually knew what was wrong but I was afraid to leave. I was afraid to be alone, afraid of what would happen to me. Before I could stop myself, tears came flooding down my face. I was relieved in a way, relieved that I found out what was truly happening to me, relieved that I wasn’t to blame. I was comforted by Melyssa, who was at the next desk. She didn’t pressure me to explain the reason behind my tears, unlike Alan who never seemed to respect my boundaries. That thought only made me sob more. What had I been doing? It was like seeing the world in a completely different light.

“Mel? Will you come with me to get my things ?” I hiccuped. Melyssa nodded. Azure had approached us. “Count me in too.” Azure smiled, patting my back gently. The constant nagging feeling of needing to run away, the anxiety, the pain; it would all end soon. Leaving wasn’t easy, there was a lot of yelling and threats. But I knew that I couldn’t take his shit anymore. With the help of my two close friends, I successfully moved out of my ex-boyfriend’s place. The healing process wasn’t easy either. It was hard to break the cycle of blaming myself for everything and self hate. But I managed. There were good days and there were bad days, but most days were neutral. And I was finally ready to start seeing people again, after weeks and months of therapy.

I walked up to my date. I smiled, greeting them.

“Hello.”