Simple things (revamped)
Most of us just live our lives trying to lead a life of happiness and get at least three decent meals a day. But there our others who question our existence. There our those who question the dubious Big Bang theory. While we might not know how life started, we surly know what clouds are made of. After doing much research I have come to a conclusion on what clouds really are. Hear me out.
Millions of years ago when the universe was still young, earth was covered in a blanket of trees. Besides the trees, the only other living things were tall rabbits who stood on thier hind legs and had stupidly long ears, and patapats: vegetables with the same texture and shape of a patato. These two life forms lived in perfct balance with each other. If a rabbit died, a patapat bush would spring to life. If a patapat bush died then a Rabbit would come into existence.
The Rabbits pretty much followed our hibernation laws. From spring to late fall the rabbits would get fat on patapats so as to store up for the winter months. The average Rabbit would eat 20 patapats a day. In the mornings they would wake up and stretch. You were considered a very flexible rodent if you could touch your toes. Then all the Rabbits would head out to go find patapats.
It was customary to travel in groups of 30+ rabbits. These different groups were like tribes. They would fight each other over patapat bushes. A leader of a tribe would be like the modern day dictator and would decide when to go to war, when the cooking patapats were ready, and were the group was going to stay in the winter months. They lived quite adventurous lives.
You ask how they cooked thier patapats. Well, I will tell you. Ever since the beginning of time the Rabbits had been cooking thier patapats. It was the strict rule of all the tribes to cook each and every patapat thoroughly before consumption. Failure to follow this law would lead to banishment from the tribe. This was bad because without the protection of the tribe you were buzzard food. So, every morning all the rabbits would go to different patapat bushes and collect the patapats in there ridiculously long ears. they would then lay their ears ladden with patapats over the fire and then gossip and talk while their patapats cooked. It was weird their ears never burned.
Glory and getting enough patapats in ones belly were the keys to life. When going to war, the two quaraling tribes would come with weapons of war. To explain this in a logical and reasonable way I will give you an example.
The Whopons tribe and the Guberfubs were going to war. To the battle field the Whopons brought thier Patnugs(rolling patapat cannons). Each cannon needs two rabbits to operate it. There were 131 cannons. The Gubberfubs, who were less in number, had brought their walking suits made completely out of tree bark, patapats, and liana vines. These suits were like 15 foot tall robots, and were operated by 10 to 12 Rabbits. 4 rabbits would control the legs, another 4 the arms, and the remaining rabbits would be crouched in the head, firing patapats at their enemies. The battle went something like this:
In the first few minutes the Guberfubs have already made thier way across the field in their suits and have crushed 39 cannons. The other tribe strike back and bring down 2 robots. 3 more robots go down as they sacrifice themselves to destroy another 47 cannons. The Whopons raise a white flag and they surrender. Half the Whopons tribes patapat bushes become the Guberfubs. I have just described a battle of these rabbits.
There were many other tribes. I will describe each tribe based on its wins and population.
Name. Population. Wins.
1. Yuproy 892. 24
2. Polinuks 689. 15
3. Sinrits 615. 21
(the Pulinuks and the Sinrits are always at war)
4. Trim 567. 18
5. Hunpon 494. 13
6. Dusnop 378. 0 (Peaceful)
7. Whopon 263. 17
8. Updapt 234. 11
9. Hirtyrug 211. 13
10. Gubberfub 179 29! (Smart Rabbits)
You have the details on their tribes, so now I will tell you how clouds came into being.
Every year at least 1 curious Rabbit would eat an uncooked patapat. They would then get quickly banished from the tribe. What nobody knew was that these Rabbits would end up as clouds. Some how the patapats dissolved the rabbit from the inside out. The Rabbit was still alive for some unknown reason, but their bodies, lacking mass, would float up into the air and apear to be white, fluffy fog in the sky.
One year there was a great war and all the rabbits died. Humans came along, but the white, fluffy groups of rabbits in the sky remained. Humans called them clouds. Many years later the rabbits can still be seen and when you hear the wind whistling through the trees, it is actually the sound of the rabbits talking about old times.
I made this all up. Don’t sue me Plz.