I'm okay with not always being beautiful
It took me years to reach a place where I feel comfortable knowing not everyone sees something worthy in me. I no longer feel defined by the desire that others do or do not feel for me. I don't know exactly when it changed but it did. I changed. And I am better because of it. The majority of my years I have spent starving for certain attention because without it I felt myself fade into nothing. I felt every flaw from head to toe magnified to the point that it consumed me - every inch of me, of my identity, of my worth, of my being. Maybe being alive long enough and having lived through so much has finally allowed me to settle into myself. For better or worse, this is who I am. I've spent enough time inside these lines to know there is a certain goodness within me. Within my truest heart and truest soul. A uniqueness that is made up of my courage to love unconditionally no matter who or what the circumstances may be. With it, I have learned to trust myself - even when I do not trust others. I have learned to love the person that I am. I have come to accept myself as a whole rather then accepting only the parts of me that others seemed to like. I am truly beautiful.. because I am kind. Because I am deeply caring. Because I am passionately loving. Because I am capable of forgiving. I am truly beautiful.. because I feel so entirely. Because I trust so overwhelmingly. Because I believe so undoubtedly. I am no longer paralyized by the way it feels to not be seen. To not be needed or wanted. To not be noticed. Instead I am comforted by the way it feels to be true. True to myself and the person that I am. The woman that I am becomming. The human being that I will always be.