Tell the Coffee Maker Only
"I think you need an auto cut off if you stay on too long."
"I'm going to get you to get started at four AM."
"Sometimes you taste too strong."
"You're not as hot as you're supposed to be."
"Your cord is too short."
"You really need a filter."
"I know you do them all, Columbians, the whole Breakfast Club, the Doughnut Shop and more."