I feel like I am falling apart,
as if the force of my own
can no longer
broken eggshells that are me
in one shape.
The alcohol can make me forget,
at least for a short while, I am no longer weightless.
It can only be described as a kind of---
Like an itch in the back of your brain that is
that you have to
drink. eat. drink.
Just to get rid of those
almost-voices snickering in the back of
But the thing is,
they are what fill that empty space inside
They are what makes you,
I can no longer feel the force of my own gravity.
The clawing demons
force themselves through the lengthening cracks
of what used to be me;
Until I become what I wish so much
I could defy.
Until I become all that I despise.