we'd meet in the swimming pool with blue-green square tiled walls and no water
every tuesday at 2am
and we'd lie down spreadeagled on the floor of the pool
wondering what it would feel like
if we were lying flat under 15,000 litres of water
and then you'd laugh
and i'd laugh too but only because you laughed
and i love the way your eyes crinkle
and you'd say that it's nice somehow
to dream about being trapped but actually being free
because you usually stay awake at night
thinking of things the other way round,
trying to run away from life
and i would say me too
and then we'd be still and silent for a little while
just being happy with eachother and forgetting about all there is to think and care about.
one day you pulled me closer
and i rolled to your side
and you pressed your mouth to my ear and whispered
my momma found out about us last tuesday
and she told me not to come here anymore
and this might probably be the last time we can be like this so
can i give you a kiss?
your kiss would be our very first and last kiss
that i had dreamt about for many nights
so i said yes, of course, i love you
and i wanted to close my eyes but i didn't because i had to see you.
it tasted like the cheap mint chewing gum
that you get from the corner store near your house
and that i would start to get
every friday onwards
because i never wanted to forget the taste of you.
and then we would stop staring into the night sky through the metal wire
chain-link fence beside the pool
and we'd climb out
and we'd hug because we were tired of waiting till tuesdays to hold eachother
and then we would start making our ways home,
out of the alley, you and i walking half of the highway
then splitting up down two smaller streets
then turning and turning farther away from where we remember seeing the other
until i wouldn't be able to chase after you and find you
even if i tried
because you'd be too far gone
and that's how things were.
that's how things were supposed to be.
i could never find you and you could never find me.
we could only ever find the street sign where our lives intersected
and trust in the other to be there too
and pretend for a night
that we would never lose eachother
and that we'd always be kids
and that we'd always live where we did
and that we could always come to this street sign at 2am on tuesdays when we needed a friend
and that our parents would never find out
and that we could hold eachother for as long as we ever wanted or needed to
and that we loved eachother
didn't we love eachother so, so much?
didn't our love transcend the two small worlds we each lived in?
wasn't our love an infinity
that would never, ever die?