Nameless and Swimming
It's easier to be nameless, to not be a specific thing to anyone. It allows one to disappear within the very non defined nature of a not-thing. One doesn't have to follow prescribed rules of normal engagement, one doesnt need to bare the soul or open the heart because there is no obligation defined by role.
One can choose freely and clearly where one wants to be. Frightening sometimes to be without a safety net of naming. There is power in names and there are expectations. To walk away from naming is to let all the power in naming be null and void.
Awkward and difficult to navigate sometimes. Frequently or usually, some might argue, but it is really dealing with one's own insecurities and doubt, letting the woobie of expectation go. My safety blanket burns while i struggle to keep my head afloat some days.
I'm becoming a mighty strong swimmer though longer and longer I can hold my breath, walk away from the firm foundation of the shore and the sure. I like the struggle and i like examining my doubt, and finding that extra store of breath when i was certain that water was too deep.