You had better watch out

I am always supposed to close my eyes when I'm in bed on Christmas Eve.

No matter what!

Mommy says it doesn't matter what I hear, keep your eyes closed and fall asleep as fast as you can. Santa won't leave you presents if you are awake!

I have been such a good boy this year. I can keep my eyes closed, I know I can. I am trying to fall asleep and now I hear him on the roof! 

Clomp clomp clomp. 

He is going to know I am awake and the song says I better watch out and better not pout and he is going to leave the house when he sees that I am awake so I close my eyes as tight as I can.

I try to fall asleep, I really do. I promised Mommy and Daddy that I would.

But I am just too excited! Santa got my letters, I know he did and he is going to bring me what I want for sure because I was so good all year.

Now I can hear him climbing through my window. We don't have a chimney, so this must be how he gets in every year and oh my gosh I can't believe Santa walks past my bed every Christmas but I shouldn't even know this because I am supposed to be asleep.

Heavy footsteps, clomp clomp clomp. Like when my Daddy wears his boots in the house and Mommy yells at him. More footsteps, clomp clomp, clomp clomp. Santa brought a friend!

I can't help myself, I have to see Santa and whoever is with him so I open my eyes ever so little, just a peek.

He is here, in my room! I hold my breath because if I don't I am going to just scream out I am so happy!

There is someone else here as well. A woman with Santa, oh wow it has to be Mrs. Claus! They are both wearing funny clothing and Santa has a big bag where he has all the presents well maybe not all of them because you would need a bag the size of the moon but my presents are definitely in there!

I am peeking just a little more now. I see them pass by my bed. She is stopping, maybe she is looking at me? I see Santa shake his head at Mrs Claus.

Now they are leaving my room. I wait to hear them go down the stairs, but I have my eyes open just enough to see them walking towards my parents room.

I just knew my parents knew him!! They said they didn't but my Daddy is such a light sleeper, no way he wasn't going to know Santa was in the house every Christmas. He always hears me pee at night because I can do it myself now and he always scares me talking out of the dark and he asks if I need help and I tell him no way I most certainly do not.

I can hear them talking right now. I hope my Daddy doesn't say something silly like he usually does, I want those presents! Don't ruin it for me Dad!

There are some loud thumping noises now. It sounds like when I jump on their bed in the mornings and I try to get my Mommy out of bed but she's all sleepy and it takes a lot of jumping before she is finally up and then I know it's breakfast time and usually I have pancakes. My parents must be really excited too, I know I would be if I got to talk to Santa every Christmas. And Mrs Claus too, oh boy I sure would be jumping up and down on the bed. More footsteps, they are coming back!

Now they are going down the stairs. I am so excited that now I have to go to the bathroom. I know Mommy told me to stay in bed but now I am awake and no way am I going to be able to go to sleep while Santa and Mrs Claus are in the house! I tiptoe to the bathroom which is right across the hall from Mommy and Daddy's room but I slip in something wet on the floor. Ow it hurts my head when I hit the floor but I try really hard not to cry because grown ups don't cry, that's what my Daddy says. The bang was so loud though, no way my parents didn't hear that. I look into their room but it's so dark, I can only see my Daddy's legs which are hanging off the bed in a really funny way.

Then I hear a creaky creak noise on the stairs and I look down and there is Mrs Claus! She sees me, oh no, oh no oh no I am never going to get my presents now, I am in such big trouble.

But she doesn't yell at me, she just waves at me. I think she wants me to come down the stairs! I look towards my parents room but Mrs Claus puts her fingers to her mouth like Mommy does when she wants me to be quiet.

Ssshhhhhhh

I get up off the floor and I can't see what I slipped in but I can tell that it's warm and sticky. Eww it’s on my bum for sure, Mommy is going to have to clean it and I am going to get in trouble again!

Mrs Claus is still waving at me so I creep down the stairs because my parents must be asleep and Mrs Claus doesn't want me to wake them so I am super quiet as I go down the stairs. No creaky creaks!

Mrs Claus puts her arms out like the last time I saw her and Santa at the mall, so for sure she remembers me and I give her the biggest hug! She smells funny, like the pennies I'm collecting in a jar so I can buy a house when I'm a grownup like my Mommy and Daddy.

She picks me up and takes me into the room where Santa is giving us his presents. But it looks like he is taking away presents. Oh no, I have been a naughty boy this year! Santa looks at me and his eyes are mean, and he wags his finger and makes a noise like my Daddy does when I am in trouble and he sends me to my room but now all I want to do is go to my room and get back in bed and sleep like my Mommy told me to do.

Santa is covered in red but not like the red I saw him wearing in the mall or in my story books. This red looks dark and black and he looks wrong, all wrong. His beard looks dirty and gross and I start to cry. Mrs Claus hits me on the cheek, it hurts so much, Mommy and Daddy never hit me even when I get in big trouble so I start to cry more and Mrs. Claus hits me again and it hurts even more.

Santa comes closer and he smells even funnier than Mrs Claus. He smiles and he has gross yellow teeth that are sharp and oh no I hope he doesn't bite me for crying I just hope he sends me to my room.

He points to the fake fire that we put out every year because we don't have a real one and our stockings are there and there is something in the one for my Mommy and in the one for my Daddy. They look big and round at the bottom and whatever is inside looks like the time my Mommy got Daddy a bowling ball for his birthday and he laughed because he is pretty bad at bowling and my Mommy laughed and then he kissed her and they were so happy and I laughed too and then Mommy picked me up and she smelled like flowers. Mrs Claus doesn't smell like flowers and now her and Santa are laughing but it's not funny ha ha laughing so I don't laugh. Mrs Claus pushes me towards the stocking and they want me to look inside but I don't want to because there is something icky dripping out of the bottom and I don't want to be here anymore.

Santa pushes me hard and he looks even meaner now and I know I have to look inside the stocking. I take my Daddy's stocking and I try and lift it off the hook but it's so heavy. Santa laughs and Mrs Claus laughs and I cry because I don't think it's funny and I want my Mommy and Daddy.

Santa grabs me and takes the stocking off the hook and he turns it upside down and my Daddy falls out but his legs are upstairs and he is looking at me here but he looks scared and now I'm scared and I scream so loud that I wake my baby brother upstairs who is such a good sleeper and he starts crying.

Santa looks at Mrs Claus and then they both look upstairs and he says Merry Christmas to Mrs Claus and then they smile and then I scream.