Visitant
How tormented am I to see her in my dreams, yet not hold her close to my heart and know that she is indeed real. Why she passes behind my eyes as I drift between the two realms, I already know; why she never appears in the morning light... this too, I already know.
How are you?
I’m okay...
Perhaps I am good
It’s just that
The past...
It haunts me
It crawls up every nook on my body
Crawling all over tainting my already tainted skin
The layers build-up
Up, up but not away
Ugh I feel so filthy
All the soap and scalding water won’t ever wash it away
I want to rip off my skin
Gouge my flesh
But It never ends
I remember all the weeping
All the dripping blood
Pools of blood and tears
I remember it all, everything, every single second
The colors...
The haunting azure, the soul-stirring crimson, and the obsidian which made me reminisce of my time in the black hole
The flavors...
The deadly sweet nectar to the falsely comforting bitter coffee
The lovely melancholy scenery
I relive the moments over and over again
While I yearn for it all to end
Perhaps I should just end it myself
I’m tired of existing
I’m tired of me
Myself
All I want is nothingness
The pure comfort of nothing
Nothing
Is that too much to ask for?
Even with all this perhaps I still am good
Thank you for asking