If you've been depressed for quite a while,
To boost your mood try flashing a smile.
A toothy grin,
From deep within,
Will make everything seem more worthwhile.
Likewise, if you've been burdened with work,
Or a certain person who's always a jerk.
It's best not to frown,
And keep yourself down,
Instead, by all means, unveil your smirk.
For me, I prefer to set my sights,
On showing the world my pearly whites.
Flashed rather broad,
My angelic facade,
Has gotten me out of quite a few fights.
#limerick #smile #poetry #poem #humor
Wing of bat
Tail of rat
Legs of frog
Tongue of dog
Eye of newt
(Ain't that cute?)
Finally some raven's blood
Thicken up with a spud
Mix them up and set to boil
Or if you prefer, 'tis okay to broil
#halloween #poem #humor #challenge
Alluring dark eyes, what secrets they hold,
Questions unknown and mysteries untold.
Multifaceted beauty to behold.
#limerick #poetry #eyes #challenge #darkeyes
He leapt from the roof. Her obituary wafting down upon the breeze, landing atop him.
The sky was gray, the scent of rain lingering in the crisp autumn air. She sat in the park, underneath their favorite tree: a spot where many picnics were shared and terms of endearment whispered amongst giggles and carried on the breeze to eternity. Today, however, was different. She was alone. No picnic, just the stale crusts of bread to feed the birds that periodically stopped by to inquire of her. No whispers or giggles or smiles. Only a heavy heart and tear-filled eyes. She missed him terribly. She would never forget the day he left her. More like abandoned her, she mused. How could he? she thought repeatedly. They had planned a future together; one with dogs and kids and a white picket fence surrounding a well-kept yard and modest house with blue shutters. A fairy-tale happily ever after. But fate had other plans. Fuck you cancer, she thought and cried.
We sat in his truck driving to, to who knows where. There was no conversation, as usual, just the hum of the engine and some annoying noise emanating from the radio. I looked over at him, and in that moment realized I had completely fallen out of love.
For me, mornings are the worst part of day,
That I’d never wake up, I used to pray.
A tough last few years,
Less laughter, more tears,
Yet I rise, a full bladder to allay.
#poetry #humor #limerick #goodmorning
Based on a True Story
Time was almost up. I looked around frantically to make sure that I had assembled all that I needed, (and cleaned up what I could) because, if I didn’t, the outcome would be quite unpleasant. I went over the directions in my head repeatedly to ensure that I hadn’t forgotten anything. I was alone. There was nobody to ask for help. Thus, I had to make sure that it was all beyond perfect. There was no room for error, and time was quickly passing.
I heard a low rumble that sounded way too close for comfort, but I couldn’t figure out from where it was coming. I heard it again, only this time it was louder, almost as if it was right below me or (gasp) coming from inside me. I felt my heartbeat quicken, and my palms began to grow clammy. My eyes darted around, trying to find something upon which to focus to take my mind off the inevitable.
The suspense was palpable, and I caught a faint scent in the air. As my trepidations grew so did the aroma of what was imminent. I wrung my hands and licked my lips. I swallowed once. Twice. My throat felt uncomfortably dry.
I opened the microwave and voila...success. My cake was perfect. Lemon. Yummy. I knew I could do it!
#shortstory #flashfiction #suspense #challenge #humor
One of my all-time favorites...
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." ~ Steven Wright
I don't remember when these particular nightmares began, but I was a relatively young child. I would go visit my paternal grandmother in her Beverly Hills high-rise, and when I rang the bell, an assortment of monsters started chasing me through the building. Eventually, I would reach the basement and would try to hide until I was able to exit and jump atop a white horse and ride away. As I got older, the monsters became more sophisticated and reminiscent of the horror movies I loved (and obviously watched too many of) and the basement morphed over the years into some Medieval dungeon torture chamber. It always ended, however, with the white horse waiting for me, reminiscent of the four white steeds at the end of The Princess Bride.
I didn't really care for my grandmother. She was very controlling and critical and I used to have to stay with her occasionally, typically against my will. She had three boys, and my father was the oldest. I was the first grandchild and the first girl. Lucky me. (I was ecstatic when my cousin was born eight years later so she could get all of the attention.)
I, myself, had two daughters and made sure that she didn't make them as neurotic as she had made me.
Interestingly, I had this recurring nightmare at least three times per week, every week until she passed away when I was 36 (and my younger daughter was two.) The day after her funeral, these particular nightmares ceased, and I never had them again.
#dreams #nightmares #Prose #challenge