In this one parade I found community.
Madness is the feeling of not knowing,
Like you want this to be true
but the world is against you
and everything you thought you knew
is strewn on the ground.
Why did things have to go this direction?
Why did life have a plan to lead this crooked road?
Most of all,
why can’t I go back and change it?
Anxious circles draw in your mind,
mind, mind you, not brain,
because it is the brain that controls the mind
but the mind that creates the concept of the brain.
Anxious circles rotate in your mind,
mind, mind you, not brain,
because your brain is what creates that formula
for your mind to think.
Fuck your brain,
fuck your mind,
fuck it for ever wondering why
Endless wheel of spinning madness;
ancient spindle of wound up anxiety;
receding hairlines and dried, cracked lips;
if this isn’t madness, I don’t know what is.
Pure rage, pure anger,
Words do not spell out
the urge I have to throttle
the urge I have to take by the ear
the urge I have to make life miserable.
I won't do these things,
I won't commit these crimes;
instead I'll keep myself quiet,
I'll sit in silent rage
and make you feel the flames through my stare.
Stop being -phobic.
No, everyone is not bi these days.
No, everyone is not labeling themselves too early.
No, everyone is not faking just to seem cool.
No, everyone is not picking and choosing their gender identity for attention.
No, everyone is not too young to know who they are.
Would you like to know why?
Because we still have a life ahead of us.
If we decide who we are now, we’re allowed to change it.
No one’s pressuring us. We do this on our own terms.
Thanks you and have a good night.
It gets pretty hectic.
the lights all go out and we can't see
someone breaks in and I have to escape (I'll open the screen window, jump, and if my leg breaks, oh well)
someone with a gun kills someone I love
the person I love today won't love me tomorrow
the person I love today I won't love tomorrow
I break someone's heart
my sister dies
something happens that threatened my life completely
my friends disappear from this earth?
the lights go out but we all have each other
someone breaks in because they need a place to sleep (we offer them one and they are polite and kind and say thank you and leave harmlessly)
someone with a gun is caught and taken into custody
the person I love loves me unconditionally
the person I love I love unconditionally
I mend someone's heart
my sister is always happy
I live a long, loving life
something happens that guaruntees that we will live happily ever after
my friends all live long and stay in touch?
Don't think about those things, Fay. Don't think about the negative, Fay. Don't plant those seeds, Fay. You're weird, Fay. You think about random weird things, Fay. I bet you're going to grow up to be an outcast of society for thinking these things, Fay.
I counter the negative with the positive opposites. Does it always work? No. That's when these thoughts enter my head.
It's pretty busy up there.
I guess love isn't always bubbly
but it can be a little something more
when tears stained my shirt
love slapped my cheek until it welted
and I didn't push it back.
I will place a hand on their shoulder
and firmly push them back;
No longer will they get to tell me
that I am nothing.
They shouldn’t have been able to
except I let their words encase;
I should have shoved and kicked
that still doesn’t make me something.
It doesn’t make me anything more
or make me any better.
You can’t fight hate with hate;
bruises for bruises will break the world’s bones;
ice the bruise, get up
For a bruise, give a glare -
for a broken bone, give a shout -
for an open wound, give a soliloquy -
for a murder, send an army;
But not to kill.
To make them learn.
I’m Still Alive
Writing hasn't been easy
I've been struggling with certain things
Putting words to my feelings
truly has been a challenge
Although I have been struggling
there is also some good come out of it
But good that I cannot speak of
for I am not sure any longer
I apologize for my absence
please don't think I've left
I'm still here
I'm still weird
I still want to write
But I just don't feel right.
Try Your Best (Starter)
“When you try your best
but you don’t succeed”
look back at where you came from
go back through the pages and read
Read back through every minute
every moment that you lived
Give yourself a little time
You’ll find you get what you give
Succeeding is like walking;
it can only happen if you try
But if you try and nothing works
then you can’t give up your life
’cause life isn’t always about
winning the highest seat
You have to try your best
and hope you can succeed.