As I watch September nearing an end...

I think back to August and am unable to truly differentiate

For you see my friend

The temperature today is predicted to be a "cool" ninety-eight.

The crispness is not felt, but is heard in the air

it is provided by the crunching of grass beneath my feet

my lawn is to the point where I think it just does not care

I water and water until the green does meet

Talk of fall and pumpkin spice

does not interest me

Sweet tea with lots of ice

Good ol' Tex Mex is what I want to see

August and September

One month just blends in to the other 'round here

It seems to have been hot as long as I can remember

Thank God for AC - Amen, let out a cheer

I am used to the heat

and truly grateful for the winters we see

with no deep snow or cold icy mess, they just can't be beat

I am looking forward to the 70s and 80s of December and January......

I can't lie, if it happens to come in a rush, I won't mind....

Hope is that belief

we cling to

whether we walk in joy or grief

it is ever present in me and you

Whether you own up to it or not

even the most jaded

turns to it for it is something we have all got

Hoping for better is always clear, present and never faded

It is a light that shines bright

in darkest of times

it is an anchor that secures us upright

it sees us through so many dangerous waves where nothing has reasons nor rhymes

We are rooted in hope

it runs through our veins

It allows us to cope

through all of our pains

We hold hope for peace

We hold hope for health

We hold hope for a better world

We hold hope for all to find their place at the table.

There are things that I wished I had never ever done. I am grateful for living through some of the choices. I'm not talking addictions or abuse....just not great decisions on my part. I think if it wasn't for some of those poor choices, I wouldn't be who I am today. I truly feel bad about some of my decisions, especially those that may have hurt or disappointed others...The thing about regrets from your past - Satan attempts to use to screw up your present, and your future. If God does not hold them against me, who am I to not move past them? So, regrets, yep, I have had more than a few...but it's alright. I am grateful that they do not haunt my days or nights. Live, learn and move on.

Our wedding anniversary was three days ago, and your birthday is in just a few weeks...time really does move fast. It is really hard to believe that you have been gone just over three years.

I often think of how hard you fought and the tremendous will within you. All the while never complaining about what you called, "the hand that was dealt". Memories of you are shared among family and friends at gatherings. You are in thoughts and hearts....There is grace and peace in knowing that one day we will see those that we love once again.

Sometimes it seems like everywhere I turn there is a Cardinal....the sightings always makes me smile.

They believe I was created back in 69, and that is when the stranger took me home. I was modified and bought sight unseen for under eight hundred dollars. I'm worn out with holes...you'd think I couldn't hit a lick. I've been written all over - signed by some pretty famous folks.

I've helped to entertain a President or two, played more shows than I can count...my partner keeps going and so do I. If you look at me, I think we'd agree I probably look more like something you might find out by the curb not being strummed by one of the best that has ever been.

I have to tell you I chuckled when I heard my value is close to one million dollars. In a nod to Roy and his sidekick...the stranger named me Trigger. Me and the redheaded stranger, we have been through it all. I went into hiding from the IRS....saved and spared to play another day. From Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain to Whiskey River, and It's a Bloody Mary Morning we have been busy throughout the decades. No end in sight for me and my compadre. He still can sing with that beautiful voice, and I keep right up...me and the man that everyone loves...Trigger and Willie...I can't wait to get on the road again.

Peace is a beautiful word. It takes me to a place where there is no strife or stress between countries, families, or strangers passing by one another on the street. No battles that can weave their way into our hearts and minds. For when it is all said and done, we find that in every tragedy and travesty we lose another piece of our peace. Our connection to self, connection to others and that which in today's ways and means gives us instant connectivity to strangers the world over. I've seen too many images of Mothers and Fathers weeping for sons and daughters lost on the battlefields, highways and sidewalks of our broken country and beyond. Chalk outlines of a life that once was, left to be washed away by rains that eventually must fall.

Have you ever taken something out of a box and looked at the lengthy directions and decided you would be able to put it together without following them...after all how complex could it be? You may succeed only to find that they have generously given you a few extra screws and bolts....it looks good - looks just like the image on the box but when put it to use it crumbles....We have the directions to life, and we think in our simple ways and whys we can do it just fine...only to find ourselves in one hot mess after the other...as it crumbles before us we have that feeling that there too are a few lost screws and bolts...

When one passes people express, "well at least he/she is at peace". I believe it to be so - I just believe we should have the pleasure of peace as we walk through some of our days for I know that nothing is perfect or permanent. I'm just searching for peace, for with it pleasure surely comes.

I want to thank you for being such an amazing father to me. You lost your own Father when you were just 2. You were blessed with a strong father figure in your maternal grandfather. He would have been proud of all you accomplished.

You were always so loving with me. You truly spoiled me rotten. I know being the youngest or as y'all affectionally called me "the happy surprise" isn't such a bad gig. We had a close relationship that I was truly grateful for - I hope you know growing up with you as my Dad was pretty amazing.

Playing recess on your former high school football field was awesome...after listening to stories of you being the star High School QB - I was so proud running around on that same ground. You left High School and joined the Army. After serving in WW2 - "The Big One", you worked so hard in the oilfields under that hot Texas sun where you started out as a roustabout....which meant low entry and hard work. You worked your way up from that position to "Company man" which translated to obtaining new clients and checking in with existing clients. I love that over a few cold ones that you decided instead of making money for someone else you could do it for yourself.

I remember you worked so hard to establish an oil field trucking, contracting and sandblasting company. I had no clue what sandblasting was....when employees couldn't handle the heat and would pass out doing the work in a hot water tower or grain tower you would go in and do it yourself. I can remember how drained you were. How on earth did you do that in that crazy heat? You worked very hard and became very successful and well known for what you did, but what you did wasn't who you were....you were a good person. You were so hilarious. You had the best sense of humor....you made people laugh and feel good. I know you had such a generous nature if you heard of someone in need you made sure it was taken care of....instead of just advancing a salary to someone who was struggling you lent a helping hand. You knew - you had been there. People respected you....your reputation of fairness and being someone decent to work for was well known and that just says a lot about your character.

I want to thank you for instilling within me a love for our Texas and respecting our precious land and all that inhabited it. You taught me how to hunt and fish responsibly. You taught me how to garden, which was such a gift...there's nothing like growing your own vegetables. Just so many things you blessed me with by being you.

I want to thank you for loving me through both my good and poor choices. You loved me unwaveringly. I am so sorry if I ever caused you a moment of pain. You taught me so much. Daddy, I miss you and I love you.

When I was little I called her mommy. When I got older I skipped mom or momma and went straight to Mother while my dad always remained Daddy. My mother was someone who had faced a lot of hardships as a child and managed to come through seeing good despite seeing so much in her young years. She was an orphan losing both parents years apart and was shipped around among relatives during the Depression, when no one could afford or wanted an extra mouth to feed. That in and of itself would have been enough to make someone perhaps take a different path in life, but not her. She stayed on the straight and narrow.

I can remember when I was doing my first cheerleader tryouts how she would show me the ones that she did when she was a cheerleader for her small town's basketball team. Yep, basketball. The town was so small they didn't have enough kids to play football. Sounds so very unTexan. I remember while I was practicing, she broke into "Strawberry Shortcake Banana Cream Pie V-I-C-T-O-R-Y. I'm sure that rallied a lot of victories! I remember us both laughing. Needless to say, I didn't steal that jewel for my tryout...but I do remember how she celebrated when I made the team. She always celebrated with me no matter the accomplishment.

I remember her waiting up for me on those High School Friday and Saturday nights of fun. The hug and kiss before she went off to bed was actually a sniff test to see if I smelled of beer or cigarettes....I failed....a lot. I remember her mumbling I was my "Father's child" as my mom never smoked or drank. At all. Period.

My mom didn't care anything about cars other than the fact that it ran and had gas. My dad on the other hand was a huge car guy. She often dreaded when he drove off in her car because it usually meant he was coming home with a new car. She didn't care about flashy things. Her wants were simply to give her children the best stable homelife possible, the very thing she never had....I can remember being 15 with a learner's permit driving a Lincoln Town Car that was the size of Rhode Island into San Antonio....she didn't like "traffic"....so she trusted me, and it was really fine because I had been driving trucks on and around our farm since I was about eleven...looking back though I am just so amazed how much she trusted me...it makes me laugh in this moment.

She was a woman of faith. (Might explain making me the designated driver - perhaps a leap of faith...lol). She believed in being positive, encouraging and throughout her day showed integrity in all that she did. She instilled in us that we were only as good as our word and that we should exhibit kindness to all we encountered. I remember when she passed, I just had to see her handwriting...I opened her Bible and read her worn pages filled with notes and papers with prayers written on them tucked between the pages. It was just a comfort to me. She lived by faith and she taught me the importance of faith in my life. I am so grateful for that fact.

There are so many wonderful memories and moments of my life growing up with this precious woman as my mom. I was blessed and I miss her badly. I often think what she would think about the world today. I miss her scent; I miss her smile; I miss her kiss and embrace. A mother's love is timeless...and despite the separation from this world and when one goes home - it is ever present and always felt...