[Wrote this my senior year in high school. I was kind of an emotional mess.]

As he showered from another day,

the ink on his arms was washed away.

It'd been left by friends with ecstatic pens

who in excitement had been carried away.

One wouldn’t rub off no matter how much he scrubbed,

drawn by a girl whom he had once loved.

There's a hole in my heart

torn by a bullet

it ripped me apart

and left me in shreds

I've never felt so lost

the pain is deep

I can never sleep

my bottled up tears

my pillow swallows it all

it feels my pain

muffles my cries

I wonder if anyone

could understand

who am I

and what have I done

I don't think I can ever again

face the Sun

and the Earth it cries

along with me

there's pollution in her skies

like the pollution in my eyes

and rest assured

she holds me tight

the child of the stars

the child of the night.❋

Black and red, 

Dark hair, 

Dark story. 

Blonde, pink and dumb, 

Golden hair, 

Golden story. 

Our faces aren't our stories, 

Our looks do not define us, 

And we are more than what we seem, 

We are more than what you dream. 

I am not easily offended

However

There is one thing I need to mention

That really needs to change

Because I'm between 13 and 20

All of my problems have suddenly

Become not worth being taken seriously

And if I try to express how I feel

I'm a cheesy, angsty, emo girl

A stereotypical drama queen

Way out of touch with reality

All my emotions can just be ignored

"It's hormones; this wouldn't happen if you slept more."

You think all of my problems

Are made up inside my head

Maybe that's somewhat true,

But understand I'm still in pain

I cannot just "suck it up"

I am suffering from the condition of

Emotional phantom limb

But still, I think the worst part is

Sometimes I wonder if I am

Stupid for caring about something

Do you know what?

I don't need proof

I'm not in court

Here's the deal, plain and simple

If I feel it, then it's real

I've been trying so hard,

To stay on my feet

I've been trying so hard,

To let the colors in

I've been trying so hard,

To not reach out and push the strand of hair away from your face.

I've been trying so hard,

To let the words break me

I've been trying so hard,

To let you cushion my fall

I've been trying so hard,

To let the time fly by

I've been trying so hard,

To get back in sync

I've been trying so hard,

To find a cover to recover

I've been trying so hard,

To keep every memory

I've been trying so hard,

To be what you like

I've been trying so hard,

To stay alive.

Scars and marks grace her skin

they ornate it like stars on a clear sky

There's a void in her heart

And in her soul

An emptiness, a block,

That tears her apart

breaks her will

Something no one could ever fill

something that she hopes to conceal

Muffled voices in her head,

Struggling to be known and heard

And in her innocent heart,

Abode secret hopes, hoping to come true some day

She's not brave enough to forget or let go,

But not enough weakness dwells in her heart to make her quit

Her feelings, her emotions,

Sheer things she hopes no one to fathom,

A misted mystery, she's sure, she is, no one would ever care to decipher.

Hurtful as could be receiving the deadly D

Teachers should preach

Test scores are everything

Is it possible I'll never be what I want to be

The anxiety builds in me

No colleges will ever want me

How is it possible twelve years of education

Only to be let down with a certification

Society wonders why young teens

Suffer from anxiety and depression

We're set up to only be judged by test scores

Nothing more

I'm a square peg 

that never will fit

I'm the invisible boy

no one will miss

I'm not popular

nobody knows my name

But they are quick to notice 

if I have crooked bangs

My clothes are hand-me-downs

I'm not good at sports

While the prom king and queen wear plastic crowns

Mine feels like it's made of thorns

"Why are you so sad?" they implore

"These are the best years of your life"

Best is a relative term for sure

I've never been the grateful type

Step 1: Apply pressure to the damaged area. Cover the wound with statements that you know are false like "I'm ok" and "I never loved her anyway" in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Step 2: Pick up the pieces of your broken heart off the ground and attempt reconstruction. WARNING: There will be missing parts! Such as your ability to trust another human being. The final product will resemble a half finish jig-saw puzzle.

Step 3: Search for your missing dignity in the wreckage of a relationship that once was.

Step 4:Smuggle your tears through the the daily grind of your everday routine. This is crucial for recovery, since the shedding of tears is the cleansing of wounds.

Step 5: The pillow you once held, imaging as if it was the soft curves of her fragile body is now your enemy, and in this war against your emotions you cannot sleep with the enemy. 

Step 6: Whatever is left between you and her must now be kept strictly professional, so stand tall and walk straight as if her departure didn't crush every bone in your body.

Step 7: Learn to hide your feelings behind a mask of hypocrisy and cheap jokes. 

When she asks you how you are doing proceed to tell the biggest lie in human history and reply "I'm good". All the time spent lifting weights could never have prepared you for the weight of the words that you're struggling to hold back.

Step 8: Forgive and Forget. Emphasis on forget.

Step 9: Avoid listening to The Script, The Fray, and Sam Smith.

Step: 10: Repeat.