What Have I Forgotten?
1. foolproof plan
5. paper towels
9. garbage bags
10. kill witnesses
The Writing Cycle
1) Environmentally Inspired,
2) Conceptually Imagined,
3) Cocktail Napkin Doodled,
4) Digitally Word-Processed,
5) Edited and Formatted,
7) Grouped and Bound,
9) And forever, became.
Copyright © 1986-2017
All Rights Reserved
The Gay Agenda To-Do List
1.) Be born.
2.) Notice you are different from the other boys or girls, and you are not sure how.
3.) Go through puberty.
4.) Now you are sure how.
5.) Learn that the word that describes you is an insult word.
6.) Learn that all of the words that describe you are insult words.
7.) Think about suicide.
8.) See positive gay people on TV or Internet, think it gets better.
9.) Get beaten up by the football team.
10.) Graduate High School a virgin.
11.) Spend your entire 20's correcting that condition numerous times in numerous ways with numerous guys.
12.) Find one guy to love.
13.) Lose your job when your boss finds out you are gay.
14.) Move in with your new love.
15.) Plan to adopt children.
16.) Plan his funeral.
17.) Be homeless when his parents kick you out of the place you lived in for ten years since to them you were just the "roommate" since you were never legally married.
18.) Nation wins the legal right to get married, but a bit too late for you.
19.) Move in with a woman you met in college, she had a crush on you, she got married to some other gay guy, and is now divorced.
20.) She meets a guy who is actually straight. She says you can stay, but you know you have to go.
21.) Live in your car.
22.) Get new job in gay coffee house, sleep on a cot in the back room.
23.) Meet a man.
24.) Serve him coffee every day.
25.) Fall in love.
26.) Actually get married this time.
27.) Move in together, adopt three Cantonese kids and three Siamese cats.
28.) Live Happily Ever After.
Failure to Communicate
American Revolutionary War
Northwest Indian War
War of 1812
Mexican - American War
Spanish - American War
World War I
World War II
Persian Gulf War
War in Afghanistan
War on Terror
mac N' cheese
thicK cut ham
gOat cheese crumbles
soft-Serve ice cream
1. Send Son to the world
2. Choose a mother for the Son.
3. Let the Son be baptized by His cousin.
4. Let the Son choose 12 followers
5. Let Him perform miracles
5.1. The blind will see
5.2. The lame will walk
5.3. The dead will rise
6. The Son continue the ministry
7. Son teach through parable
8. Let the people meet the Son with palm leaves in their hands.
9. The Son forgives the woman from all her sins
10. She wash the Son's feet with tears and alabaster, a perfume worth a year of salary.
11. The woman wipe the dirt from Son's feet with her hair.
12. The Last supper
13. The prayer in the garden with tears and blood.
14. The kiss of the traitor
15. Sword fight between the soldiers and His friends.
16. The arrest, the denial, and humiliation
17. The SON of God and Pilate
18. The 39 lashes
19. The crown of thorns
20. The cross
21. The way of suffering (via dolorosa)
22. The skull mountain
23. The crucifixion
24. The death of the Son of God for everyone.
25. The torn veil
26. The RESURRECTION
27. The empty tomb
28.THE COMPLETION OF THE PLAN OF REDEMPTION.
29. The tongues of fire.
30. The ascension of the SON
7am: wake up
9am: go to church
11am: go to the store- buy trash bags, rags, bleach, gloves, and saw
12pm: go home
1pm: get body out of freezer and take to basement, proceed to cut into pieces, put in trash bag
5pm: clean blood from floor
6pm: drive bag to Old Jones's Creek, dump bag
8pm: return home, make dinner
9pm: iron slacks for work tomorrow
10pm: set alarm, go to sleep
Difficult to See - Always in Motion is the Future
1. You approached me at Disclave '91 (a science fiction convention)
2. You extended your hand, but I said I didn't shake hands
3. You spent the rest of the convention making sure no one disturbed me
4. I called you often, and you me
5. You came over, we talked
6. You drew the most amazing picture of me and gave it to me as a present - I was speechless
7. You helped me move out of my apartment - I asked you to hold the picture for safekeeping, and I would retrieve it later
8. You called to tell me your fiancee died, and we talked for hours. You were moving, but I said I'd call you again the next day
9. When I called, the phone had already been disconnected
10. Frantically, I called 411 and friends, but I couldn't find you
11. 18 years later, someone sent me a Friend invitation on Facebook, and I said, "Okay, you can't have too many friends." A moment later the name registered. You had found my picture and sent me the invite
12. You spent the better part of a day watching me and another Friend argue about a topic you posted
13. You emailed, you called - I found out you were in New York, but I was still in Maryland
14. I asked if you still had the picture of me, and you said it was right there in the room. You had never given up hope of finding me
15. Unsure of our status, you came down to this area and we met at a hotel - neutral ground
16. We decided we had a good time, and we did it again, a few times
17. You traveled down to Philadelphia to be with me when I was going to the Headache Center there
18. One trip, we were in the middle of a blizzard. All buses were canceled except for the one going to D.C. We decided you were coming home with me
19. I went up to New York to spend a week with you and hang out. We binged "The Blacklist," among other things
20. You moved back down to Maryland
21. We saw each other more and more - we talked every single day, sometimes multiple times a day
22. We "hung out" for two years before we decided we should have a proper "first date"
23. We went to see "Star Trek Into Darkness" and I introduced you to Ethiopian food
24. We continued the "dating" thing and decided we loved each other - you were always patient with me and respected my boundaries, and I couldn't imagine anyone more caring and loving than you
25. Somewhere in there, one night sitting on the couch, you asked me if I wanted to marry you
26. I said, "Of course, silly"
27. (Fill in future here.)
#liststory #love #challenge #myjoe
The Women I Have Been Warned Against Becoming
1. Woman of Matter
-Woman who will not share space, who does not remove her elbow from the arm rest at the doctor’s office while she waits to be told she is not to scale
2. Woman who Roars
-Woman who speaks over interruptions, who met silence and left it lying in the streets because she refused to listen to what it had to say
3. Woman who Needs no Shield
-Woman who learned self-defense from chopping onions, whose knuckles grew thick as metal from kneading dough
4. Woman of Curiosity
-Woman who always asks questions, who seeks answers inside the bellies of beasts
5. Woman Clothed in Strength and Pride
-Woman whose heels click and lips shine, who dresses above the knee because she is not ashamed of her thighs
6. Woman with Teeth
-Woman who bites back and draws blood, who scrapes knees and bruises ribs with her tongue