The Mysterious Case of 11-12
April 2023. On the website dedicated to readers and writers called 'theprose.com', a user named 'batmaninwuhan' posted a continuation of their "random topics" challenges, in which users can participate by writing a piece in any form or genre on the topics provided in the challenge. At first regarded as a simple internet writing challenge, users participated as usual, sharing their works with the rest of the community.
However, several days later things have taken turns for the strange. A user under the nickname of [▇▇▇▇▇] was reported missing by their family members on their social media accounts (including 'theprose.com') 4 days after the challenge was posted. No connection was made at the time of the disappearance, until three more disappearances were reported a week later. The other victims, just like the first, were members of 'theprose.com' community and have participated in the challenge.
Questions and concerns have arose in the community. Some users who participated in the challenge have started massively deleting their posts - some even accounts - out of fear of disappearing next. Others thought it was just a highly elaborate, well-crafted and well-executed stunt, and that all the police reports were also fabricated, just to trick as many users as possible.
What was certainly clear is that all the disappeared users' works were on two topics: topic 11 and topic 12, themes of which have been lost due to the deletion of the challenge by the administration of 'theprose.com'. All attempts to access the original post were unsuccessful, as it couldn't be viewed even through the Wayback Machine.
As of today, the original poster, 'batmaninwuhan', have not been active on 'theprose.com', nor have they left their digital footprint elsewhere ever since the accident.
The disappeared users were never found.
Topics 11 and 12 are topics whose subject matter we dare not specify. That being said, let's get right to them.
Topic 11 was to take an average of three Trumps, divide it by one Clinton, and then determine the logarithm by taking the derivative of Biden and bringing it to the power of George Santos, which of course is an imaginary number. Don't forget to carry the Agnew.
Topic 12 was to adapt the Memoirs of Charles Manson into limericks. (There once was a guy named Charles, Who had Pepper Spray applied to his balls, His expression was one, Of cornholing the Sun, And... Well, you get the idea.)
And, related, was the topic of Topic 14, "The eleventh and twelfth topic, and what befell those who wrote about them," which is already begun with the aforementioned 11's and 12's exploration.
For the supplemental information, i.e., "what befell them (me?)," please take a moment to pray for me:
First, I was forced to write bad shakedown checks to the Italian Heritage and Organized Mime Society.
Then, I was forced to spend the night in a haunted inflatable woman factory.
Next, I had to slap Mike Tyson in his fat, fleshy head and then call him a pussy.
After that, I was required to eat some fried bald eagle, which tasted like a cross between spotted owl and panda.
Then I had to marry one of the Kardashians twice--or marry two of them once--I really couldn't tell the difference.
Then I had to return Clarence Thomas a strand of his pubic hair. Not easy to find any more. Just saying.
Then I had to write the sexual history of the boat, "Monkey Business."
After that, I was forced to sneak into Russia with some candid glossies of Putin engaging in outrageous debaucheries with Ayn Rand.
Then, I had to divide by zero and present the paper to the American Mathematical Society proceedings--oh, yes, and do that with the very pencil I used sticking out of my ass, which I found easier to accomplish than dividing by zero. Which can be done, actually, if you discover the secret of having a pencil up your ass. Everything just seems to fall into place after that. (Sharpen the pencil after, not before.)
Finally, I had walk right up to Nicki Minaj and tell her, in front of some angry, armed rappers, that her ass was not big--in fact, not big at all.
Thanks for the Challenge. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. (#bullshit)
understanding the youth
Recall, my friend Avshalom, son of David. his hair flowing, a royal mane of impressive sight. oh, and how the dames and damsels of court had watched him, manly throwing it around in all directions. oh, what conquests he must have had, with brilliance of nightly tactics, much to do perhaps to that impressive growth. recall though with sadness, that impressive hair was that youth's downfall, as he got unmanned by it, hanging helplessly from a branch, like a ripe fruit for his enemies, the King's own to treat him in their cruel leisure.
for a time, i strived to develop an Afro upon my head. a Jewfro to be exact, as i my scales and upper mucus is pale in color, and my topmost folicals are a shit-like brown, all growing above the folds of skin and fat. the growth, lovingly un-tended for, neglected with the hope that liberty and self government would bring forth a greater prosperity, fell away long ago. the folicals, perhaps not holding well in their afflicted moorings. and so, like Avshalom, i learned the long term effect of childhood folly.
as for pants, to say that i had a similar liberality as with the hair would be a gross lie.
i wore no jeans! despite suggestions to the contrary, and sheathed my lower parts with cargo pants and dungarees. soft and supple and much more copious in volume respectively of size, they covered me in all times, with a range of colors of gray, blue, drown and drab green. but never black!
it is because of this, my hair decisions and pantaloonage that i claim to have an understanding and to speak with authority into the minds of youths today. for our minds are the same!
the so-called generation Z is an open book to me. nothing in the vast changes of recent years in culture, technology or politics have anything in the way of obscurity or ambiguity to myself. It is quite clear to me that kids want to set up buisness, trade with the natives, and explore the uncharted continents. they desire a good bowl of soup and an evening by the television followed by an early night. as for sexuality, kids of generation z cant get enough of sexuality. They are eager to see what lies under a lady’s petticoat, as it has always been.
As for the usage of social media, it is self evident really, that this will lead to nothing but good, and prosperity will once more bless our lands.
The only thing that i feel that i can’t understand generation z goes back to my fervid acquaintance with cargo pants. I see most youngling wearing cargo pants as is proper and rightful in a well goiverned state. Cargo pants are a perfect merger of the need to contain one’s self with an equal urgancy to contain posessions without having further carry on baggage, such as rucksaks and shopping bags. It it obvious that an educated person would eschew the wearing of jeans as that they permit no such immidiate baggae, where tragedy befell such a person, he would be hard pressed to find room for his many personal posessions within the narrow, pockets of his pantaloons. Only the articulated , numerous pocekts of cargo pants allow for such quick and ready use. Any choice other than that, is an unworthy compromise with whimsical fashion!
However, recently there has been a puzzing trend, which i am here struggling to bring forth, and which i hope some light can be shed upon in the comments below. That question is about those strips of cloth , or braids of cordage that are intetionally made to hang from the edge of the flap that covers those wonderfully voluminous pockets.
Ostensibly these strips, i gather, are attached, so that there will be an easy opening of the pocket while in the wearer is in rapid action, or while wearing thick gloves, perhaps during a session of welding. The functionality of these strips disappears though when there are many of them and they festoon the cargo pants with a multitude of such straps and ribbons. indeed, one begins to doubt the necessity of their usage in quickening the retrieval of cached objects.
Why is there are such need in the youths to acquire cargo pants with ribbons attached, is something of unchartered waters. Here i hazard some theories, though there is no way for me to substantiate my assumptions with fact.
1)One possible reason for the appearnace of these ribbons is meant to give the wearer a combattive, adventurous facade: as cargo pants are nominaly part of the work attire of those of the armed forces of many nations, it is possible that the wearing of cargo pants is meant to lend the wearer some penache. The wearer, of course, disregards the fact that that they may not be warriors in all actuality, and also the fact that cargo pants are the preferred attire of many of those in the manual trades, such as bricklayers, farm hands, mechanics and pipe fitters, all of which are professionals of great necessity but not advertised as enjoying a thrilling high-paxed life.
furthermore , under this hinted prowess, the ribbons lend even more credence to this hypothesis, as that it hints at a special piece of equipment which must be retrieved effortlessly and with great haste. Obviously a person with a multitude of these straps , ribbons and cords, is advertised in being well versed in the usage of all kinds of such tactical embellishments and accouterments. They are rugged , rough and fiercless, not to mention, well equipped.
2)Seeing the hint of the militaristic nature of cargo pants, the wearer elects to exxagereate this ruggedness with an excess of detail, as a way to scorn or mock the warrior persona. it is, by this satirical dress, that they wish to demonstrate their good humor, without a word needed to be spoken.
3)It could be a deliberate attempt by leading fashion designers to pave the way for reintroducing the fashion of men, worn primarily during the baroque, and rococo periods (17-18th century), particularly in france. truly , the dressing of the time was rich with such decorations as ribbons and bows, flowing from every item of garment, and especially set upon the short cullote briches. if this is correct, fashion will soon demand such Not to mention capes waistcoats, wigs and rapiers
4) introduction of drooping straps and rippons pays a sincere homage to certain birds, who like so display their manhood with such embellishments. these snood-like appendages are designed to cause a Dionysian reaction in those who observe them, hopefully causing them to prepare for copulation. such aphrodisiac may, in fact cause the desired response, if they are sufficiently drooped and engorged.
For the Glaring Lack
I offer back,
One Hot Pink Toucan
flying over 11p and 12am
in Blimpie Aircraft...
Because What One Can
do WuHan Two Can...
So in so far as Cannibal
7 ate 9 in the lack of
a munch I wonder...
Will you take up a
Musement and in
Snood agree to Peer
under Said rock and
pick up what worms
wiggleth here to enter
the Prose CotM w/me?
Just a thought...
Don't mean to grovel
but it could be...
amusingly Superior ;)
Don't Passover Randii challenge @batmaninwuhan