devil, devil
it can send me crumbling
down to the ground.
snapshots interlaced throughout
a perfectly good moment.
it strikes me,
voltages send me tumbling.
I chose to stay above ground.
do you hear me?
do you even understand?
I fell as Persephone did,
but we are free at last.
heaven is a place on earth
and the flowers follow me.
I chose to stay above ground
and I will stay through the winter,
giggling through rose fucking lenses
as I study every snowflake.
your memories linger,
like an infection,
a disease.
guess what, my Lord,
I found the cure.
Família
There are four angels,
four heartbeats
that sleep soundly,
safely with me at night
whilst love calls my name
from countries over.
Internally I struggle
with the security,
the serenity,
the love I feel,
how foreign it all is.
For tonight,
I’ll sleep peacefully
knowing his lips speak my name
while I have sixteen other legs
with me in bed
until his return.
Vulnerability
Joy pours out of me
as of late
It is raw and real
and unnerving
as I remember my arrival
to this place
as a stark contrast
Now I begin to digest
the absolute destruction
to one’s vulnerability
an absolute fucking psychopath
can have
I shiver as the joy pours out
shedding whatever remnants
remain of you
Rapid eye movements
brought on by my self
rewire pathways
and I am ungroomed
I taste saltwater
and I am laughing
but absolutely terrified
by this recycling of joy
being poured into me
then out of me
by the same hands
I have unknowingly memorized
in mesmerization
Believing
Simply knowing they are out there
shooting across the sky
even when the city lights
keep us from seeing them…
that is belief.
it is both
a blessing and a curse
to feel things so deeply.
cursed by his residue,
blessed by your presence,
I am learning
vulnerability once more.
Then and Now
And then there was me.
I watched my sandcastles
become overthrown with the tides,
crumbling all around me.
I ripped my own heart out
as I drove away from the only home
I ever really knew,
Hoping
Praying
there was purpose to it all.
Surpresas
The sun sets on us
once again
as the dogs curl up
under the truck bed.
I can’t recall
what we were laughing at
as I take your cold hands in mine
and blow into them.
One look from you
and I internally laugh at the sky
for maybe the fourth time
this week;
everything makes sense now.
I saw you and
everything was clear;
clearer than the mountain sky
you gave me,
clearer than the water
rushing under us.
Do you believe
in missing puzzle pieces?