I never told you how much you meant to me... but maybe you guessed. I loved you and I wanted you to love me back. I know you said you couldn't feel real emotions, but that’s a lie. Because I know you feel, just like me. So just let me care for you when no one else would. It's all I ever wanted from you, you were my reason for surving in this darkness.

Without any light, without hope to hold on to. I thought there would be nothing stopping me from falling apart, that I would end up shattered and splintered... and there would be nothing besides death coming my way. Nothing to fill my hammaring heart and a mind just on the verge of insanity... but you saved my. Even if in truth, you were my destroyer... I thought I would never meet someone that would stop me from breathing and the same time allow me to breath with a full chest fot the first time... you crushed me, you devored me with the darknes that spilled from your heavy heart.

I drowned in your rage, and got consumed by something strongert than was even imnaginable. I fell, and I burned. I died in every possible way.

And yet here I am. Rising from the ashes that you left me scorched. Stronger, in control, alive. Full of assurence that depite all of the cruelty that you pride yourself with, a sort of crest that you carry on your chest... I still saw what you hid underneth it all, with so much caution. I ignored all the distraction that you threw at me and I broke all of the mirrors that you played me with. And when everything was gone and I could see through the fog that was surrounding you... I saw who you really were and I fell deep into your darkness, enjoying every minute of it.

I fought for this love and I got my temporary prize... that love is here right now and if this means that this feeling will destroy me… than be it. I want to burn in your arms again, I want to fall into the ashes besides you… I don’t need to breath, I don’t even have to exist if you’re next to me. Just let me love you, it’s all I ask from you. I need this to survive even if I’m no longer here. So let me cherish you even if you’re the worst thing that ever happened to me... cause you’re also the best part of it all.

My nothing, my everything…

I don’t need words to describe how I feel about you, not even a touch. Just you. That’s all. Can you give me that, just a little piece ? I’ll take it and hide it in my soul… that part of me that was yours from the very beginning. You didn’t steal me… I was already yours.

So remember me, when I am no longer here... and don’t let your heart freeze again, it would be such a waist. It’s worth it you know… living, feeling and loving… thank you for waking me up, I finally had a chance to live. I didn’t before. I was just pretending so people wouldn’t stare. It’s a good thing, having your heart beat for someone else… and feel that love come back to you.

I'm running out of time. I need to go.

Don't look for me.

...

My view is simple, allow guns for protection, but who in hell needs an automatic weapon, a shot gun or an AK 47 in their home!

The worst thing the American government did was allowing the people to have guns better than their own law enforcers have, that was just asking for trouble. Some of the weirdos have missile launchers, sniper rifles, machine guns, bazookas etc

They are all hunkered down waiting for the shit to hit the fan, so they get a chance to use their shiny toys. Let´s face it in many cases they are penis extensions! When you watch the documentaries on the hard core gun owners, most of them seem to share one brain cell between them. There is a type, a certain type of person who likes to own guns, a normal person will lock theirs away hoping never to have to use it.

Guns do not kill people that is true...people kill people with guns.

But if there wasn´t so many around or so easy to get a hold of, then maybe there would be less gun crime and less deaths.

Guns are everywhere now, in kids books, cartoons, vido games, all over the tv, most children think they are cool. It boils down to MONEY & GREED, weapons are a massive market especially in the USA. No way will they ban gun ownership when so much revenue is made from them, same as no way will the USA stop making wars. It´s all about the money honey!

America gets rich off selling terror, making terror, fighting so-called terror...hell 9 times out of ten, they arm the the bad guys and the so-called good guys.

Moderation is the key word here.

I deserve this emptiness

This horror of truth

Nothing in me matters

I am nothing, not a who

And in the blinking moments

In the suns burning light

I am blinded by the pain

Not even black is in my sight

Caress my skin with feather-like touches,

And whisper dirty words in my ear that make me squirm.

Grab me roughly and pin me against your muscled body,

And suck the skin of my neck into your mouth.

Make moan and groan in ways no one else has,

And kiss my lips until I can barely breathe.

He smashed his lips against mine, hungrily. I felt the animal in me release itself and I threw my arms around him, feeling as if I wasn't close enough. Our lips moved in sequence, tongues battling. He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine, both of us panting hard. His hand slipped in my shorts and I gasped when I felt him cup my sex.

"Do you want me?" he asked, pecking my lips as his fingers skillfully worked its way inside me. I moaned and gripped his shirt, pleasure rolling through me in waves.

"Yes!"

You are laying on the floor surrounded in your own liquids.

Sweat. Tears. Snot. More sweat. More tears. 

You don't care that your face is covered in salt. You don't care that your eyes hurt.

You don't care that the tiles are cold.

You don't care.

Eventually the sound of your own cries starts to feel distant.

All you hear is pain. All you see is pain.

No. No. No. 

Your body is trying to shout through every nerve ending, "NO."

Nothing matters when your heart breaks. Only that one nagging thing.

Your pain feels eternal. Everything seems to be egging you on to completely rip in half, and it feels as though you already have. 

There no longer is a "you". There are pieces.

Arms. Legs. Torso. A lack of a heart. Scattered bits of a mind. 

Everything is upside down and your fragments feel discarded.

It's the feeling when you find out someone you love does not feel the same way. 

It's hearing gossip about yourself and not being able to negate it.

It's anguish and angst and a huge "Why me?"

It's breaking your favorite possession in anger while trying to mend your broken heart.

It's wanting everything to look as broken as you feel.

It may shock you

Or stop you

From loving again

But in the end

Your head always wins

No matter how hard you fight

It will keep you up at night

Making you question your self worth

The tears on your pillow

Will be filled with self hate

As the mirror twists your vision

So you see someone

You utterly distaste

You'll think you deserve it

Every gunshot

Every cut

Every stab wound

All the fear

You'll come to despise

Your own eyes

For whispering all those lies

Lies that you're beautiful

That you matter too

I mean

How could you

If he didn't love you