The Sky is Like a purple Perfume
All I see is you
You greet more then my eyes with your purple sky
For your scent greets me too soon
Like a wisteria, or catmint, up to space like sweet rocket
We enter Purples skys
With dark purple eyes, lets gaze at each other, taking me higher then ever before
The flowers become stars in your sweet smelling purple perfume sky
Song-Take Me Higher by A.C.E, Lyric-The sky is like a purple perfume
The squirrels scare me. They must be on something. I think. They are such bloodthirsty beings. At first I saw them as simple pests, ones that I hated with a passion. That was until one day I found one on my back porch, a birds head in his little paws.
These squirrles have issues. They seem to fear nothing. They mock the dogs, and mess with them like as if they were my annoying german neighbor. They eat my pumpkins, they throw things at me, they terrorize my dogs, and they eat birds.
There I was, just sipping my tea, and there he was. Just bitting the hell out of a birds face. At first I didnt think much of it. It was just getting some of the feathers off, though it seemed to be a little too invested. That was until a couple of days later.
It had left the birds head behind. It was a disgusting sight. I could see inside its head. I left it be in case another squirrel wanted some of its feathers, and mostly just didnt want to touch it. After around a week however, I looked outside once more to find the same squirrel, back with the birds head in it tiny gross paws. This time it decided to taste the flesh. It then began to eat the flesh.
To this day, I have no clue where the skull went. It’s most likely being worn by a squirrel as it tackles a raven. Most likely pay back for when a raven divebombed and then tackled a squirrel. For no reason of course.
The squirrle was minding his buissness, and I was minding mine. It crawled around my sisters truck a bit, no where near a tree or any other bird. His nice spring morning walk was ruined however by a random divebombing bird. The impact was so great that the squirrel was sent flying under the truck, and the bird just flew away like nothing happened.
The birds and squirrels are at war with each other. I just know it. And my house is going to be stuck in the middle of it.
Reincarnation & The Death That Follows
WARNING-I bring up blood and death in this, and some things that some people may find gruesome. Just a heads up.
The rain fell, hitting hard against her already red, irritated skin. She stood in the road, which by now had turned into a shallow, but strong gushing river. It was dark, and she could barely see a foot ahead. While the lightning gave momentary light and comfort, the sound of thunder gave fear. She did not welcome it, for fear she may be struck by the lightning that followed. She did not fear death, but instead feared the unknown destination after it. It was unknown even now, where her death had led her.
She stood, while her knees buckled every now and then from the thrashing of the water and rushing objects ranging from sticks to a stray bottle or two. She stood in her short moose boxers, her hair clinging tightly to her face, and struggled to move forward as she could finally make out sounds other than the rushing of the water, and crashes of trees and rocks.
A sound of a horn, constant without any sign of stopping, as she made her way forward, it seemed to almost drown out everything around her as she focused more and more on its droning, numbing sound.
She made her way, though barely, across a bridge. It was easier to walk, though her whole body cried in horrid tiring pain, but she kept going. A dim, flickering light met her tried eyes. A light pole that had fallen over and had crushed a bit of the bridge. The water was lower now, and the rain had become softer, though it still fell fast. By now the water mostly covered her feet, and below it flooded over a small stream under the bridge. She carefully trudged over to the pole, making sure it would not harm her in any way.
She leaned over the side of the bridge, hoping to meet the sound of the horn which seemed to drown out almost everything else. Now, her eyes meeting the back of a bed that belonged to a red truck, she then checked to see if it was sturdy enough to climb down. She slowly made her way down, using the wheels and the side of the bed to keep her from falling. The truck rested almost entirely on the front, where the hood was now bent, while a stone and large branch supported it. She carefully set her foot down on the open passenger truck door, and grabbed the sides of the door to keep herself from being washed away.
Inside the truck, the lights were still on, and the horn still went on, strong and constant, as she discovered the source of it. The wheel of the truck had a dent in it where one would press to use the horn, and the seat in front looked as if someone had been sitting on the seat for far to long. Instead of finding a human sitting in front of her, she found a large branch, stabbing through the window, broken, splintered, and red with blood from an unknown source. She reluctantly reached her hand to the wheel, touching some kind of unknown object she couldn't see, and watched as the dent in the wheel slowly disappeared as the car horns sound went away with the dent. She was left with the sound of rushing water, and the patter of the rain. The thunder and lightning no longer greeted her.
She seemed to have missed it now. She wanted to hear something other than the rain that stormed down upon the earth, and the metal of the truck. She stood in the truck, while resting her hand on the glove box. What was she to do now? Where was she to go? Where was she now? She backed her way out of the truck, and reached for the ledge of the truck's bed. The metal was slippery, and climbing back up seemed to be an impossible feat with no shoes, or even socks on. She climbed into the bed and grabbed an axe from an open and broken tool box, and began to climb her way up as she stepped over the wood stakes and random tools that had piled on top of each other.
She had no plan for when she stepped back onto the bridge above her. She had no idea how to make a plan. She had no idea where she even was, or what to do to try and figure out any answers to her many questions. So, instead of wondering, she focused on climbing, and only planned to continue forward, not knowing where the road would take her.
She stuck the axe into the top of the beds door, and slowly pulled herself up, almost falling and losing her grip a number of times. She reached her hand to the broken ledge of the bridge, and lifted her leg to step up. as she lifted her right hand which still held the somewhat dull rusted axe, a stinging sharp pain danced across her fingers, jumping from her joints to one another. She did not scream, but only let out a confused and pained moan, as her gip on the bridge was lost, and she slowly leaned back towards the truck. While she was now unable to use her left hand, she put all her power in her right leg, trying to lift herself up to use her other hand to grab something, anything. She dropped the axe, letting it fall down to the pile of tools and wood, and reached with her right hand, only for it to come clean off.
As she fell back, down to the truck below her, it seemed as if time had slowed down. Just for her. Just so she could watch in horror as her hand was torn off by nothing. Just so she could watch the blood flow from her ripped limb, and then splatter and fall like the rain from the sky. Raindrops and tears flooded her eyes, and a finger from the bridge fell down with her, the only finger from her left hand that remained. Suddenly ripped from her entranced wide eyed terrified stare, she hit the truck, and fell into the water below where her head landed on a stone.
While this hadn't killed her, the alien invisible force on her head would as it slowly pushed her already bleeding head against the rock, crushing her head in, and breaking her skull. She couldn't see, all she could was feel the mix of warm blood and the cold isolation of the water mix.
Her eyes, heavy and tired, opened slowly. They stinged as they met the water that filled the space all around her. No sign of the bottom, nor any sign of the top. Only sad frail light, and the bubbles that escaped her nose. As she sank, the water became heavy, almost thick, and the last bit of air had been forced out of her as she once again closed her eyes, no longer thinking and fearing of what would await her next. No longer thinking of what strange place she would go, what strange reality would meet her and tear her apart again, and again.
She curled her toes, feeling the sand in between them as her eyes staind everything in sight with her gaze. She didn't move, she stood still while looking over the dark and almost empty landscape in front of her. The sand was dark, almost black, and the sky almost matched. The only sign of life was dead. A small dead bush of sorts stood alone in the desolate desert. One would feel pity for even a dead bush to be stuck in this horrid place all alone.
She lifted a foot, as if ready to step through some invisible threshold. No longer dazed by the worlds that surrounded her, she was set on something. What it was, she didn't know. Leaving this place? finding out what had killed her? Going back to her home? Understanding the anomalies around her? Whatever it was, she was determined, though she didn't know why.
I never knew how painful letting go would be. I thought if I had held onto you for as long as I could, maybe I would get sick of you. Maybe you would be my cure. Only after so long did I realise, holding on made letting go so much more painful.
Little old Me.
I am a trans bisexual wiccan dude. Probably the worst mix for a teenager living in a conservative town. This is pretty much a journal for my thoughts, and a run down of the weirdest shit that goes down in my life. Which is pretty fuckin weird. And if you havent guessed, I cuss like a pissed off sailor. I’ll try to keep the cussing a little low, mostly because the shit I say can make a sailor blush.
Anywho, about mwa. I’m a trans guy, bisexual but still gay af, and im wiccan. Im also a foul mouthed, dirty minded, sarcastic edgy ass teenager. So thats fun. I tend to have the weirdest thoughts, and do a lot of things randomly. I also tend to attract the weirdest crap in my life from a loud mouthed german dude yelling at my dog for existing, to people bowing and speaking korean to me even though im german. Fun fact, a lot of people think im asian. I dont have a bit of anything asian in me. Other then some stir fry I ate last night.
I also tend to attract the weird kids who think that because I talked about that once anime once that im a cringy ass weaboo(however you spell it) and would also like to pretend I know fucking japanese. So have fun, or dont, when reading this crap.
I Can’t be in Love with You.
So, uuuh. This is deleted now.
You are my savior. You kept me from my own danger. Telling me the traditions, the normality of the world. I was smitten. My love had grown, and I had chosen you over the world. For you had kept me safe. I saw you as beauty and nothing less. My angel who protected me through this mess. Your wings like those of a dove surrounding me, and your silk pink dress was soft and smooth against my palm. Your music box played, and your song stuck with me. Your instrument of heaven soothed me.
I had always looked up to you. I remembered your face as my own, which I would grow into. You were a sad protagonist in some story. You had a tragic plot. But I did not pity you, Instead I admired you. You had lost so much. And yet you went on strong. For it was an accident, and he was now gone. How tragic it must have been, but you kept strong and gave your life for me then. If only I would have been able to see them before they were gone.
Through poverty, you gave me what you could, didnt you?
I had no knowledge of the world, but you told me of its dangers. You kept me in my little gold bird cage, and with my creative eyes I was smitten. Everyday you would bring me my olive leaf. Telling me that soon it would be over. It was my promise of age. And you gave me hope. Did you give hope to them?
Why was he gone now dear mother? Why was he my guardian angel? Why were they all gone? You said that they died, or you just hid them well, like you hid me. Tell me my savior, where were my brothers? Where was my sister?
You had polluted my reality. You were my guardian angel, but I still could not see. You had tempted her, you had tempted me. You were nothing but a devil in the image of a dove. How did he die? You never did tell me. At least never the truth. Run over by a truck? Fell in hole? Drank to death during your pregnancy? And you steal an angel from heaven above. Tempting her with sweet sugar and peace. With your instrument of heaven you had stolen, and yet the sister seems to still know nothing. Where had you taken her beauty? Her childhood? Her life? Instead she looks like you. But only without your disguise.
Where are they now? Why was I the only one to escape my little golden birdcage? You never did tell me. Only now I can guess. Only now I can hope. Only now I can wonder, dear mother, what would you have done with me?
-Without chaos, I see the cosmos.
In my second of peace, I cherish it.
I find myself among the stars,
I never think about how far away they are.
Around me I see the cosmos
-In that second, I feel free.
My mind simply forgets everything.
And I see no universe, but instead the cosmos,
Until reality comes crashing back at me
-Without chaos, I see the cosmos, I live with it,
And I find myself without reality.
I find myself in peaceful empty bliss, only faint colors and sound.
They suround me far away to keep me company
-In that second, I feel free,
Until the sky comes crashing down on me,
And I once again have to live through the universe
Unorderly and with chaos.
-Without chaos I see cosmos
In that second of peace.
I shall wait till the unverse leaves,
And until cosmos comes back to me.
Clawing at Skin
Unable to calm, I reach for my chest
Unable to breath, I reach for my throat
Unable to scream, I reach for my eyes
Unable to cry, I reach for my ears
Unable to hear, I sit in my angered silence
I claw at my hand, because I can not scream,
I claw at my skin because I can only hurt me
I claw at my neck, I am bleeding and red
I claw at my skin, I will only hurt me
I cant feel that pain of my scratching
back and forth, my nails in my skin
When my muscles become tired, I only dig deeper
My nails in my skin, until I can begin scratching again
Panicked and rushed, I cannot breath
Panicked and mad, I cannot see
Panicked and hated, I only want to spare you
Panicked and scared, I dont want to hurt you
You judge me for tapping my finger on my hip
you judge me for crying, and now I cry no more
you judge me for leaving, and closing the door
you judge me for squeezing the ball in my hand
I want to scream, and hate you so
I want to rush at you with the broken pencil in my hand
I dont want to hurt you
So I go back to clawing at my skin
I cannot yell, so instead I cry
I cannot leave so instead I avoid your eye
I cannot listen to the music that calms me, so instead I tune the world out
I cannot stay calm, so instead I claw at my skin
I cannot feel angry
I cannot feel mad
I cannot feel irritated
I can only feel bad
I can only claw at my skin till i'm bleeding and red
I heard its tranquil, yet raspy voice reach out for me in the utter silence.