Empire
Dragon scaled midnight moon shedding indigo
Blades of interstellar dust, ethereal
Scales brush holographic cotton candy
Skies; plasma high fades primordial flames
Etching Cowells' cratered cerebrum, Aims'
Eyes coursing with tarsal veins, rampant cells
Gush in hexing spirals, roads viral locks
Suffocating chambered trauma, minor keys
Cling to Coupe’s marble breath, songs of life echo…
Retrofit headlights like outlines of black holes,
Abyssal darkness shrouds oncoming highway
Signs, creation beams expel veiling deep
Beyond extinction and unseen exodus
The Infinite awakens peering honey
Graced pastures, stratocumulus clouds shout
Heaven sent predations, flesh laced and clasped
Call forever never waning even
In far off Afterlife; claws crawl carelessly
Leaving pools of oxidized blood; squid scorned
Ink paints in the Book of Dreams fating a day
To be met: dandelion smile. crystal heart.
Winter never sang so cold, syrupy
Cerulean suburb embankment, sweet
Skyline clings to hazy smoggy tapestry,
Silky residue pours down leaves of grass,
Frontier houses consumed by overgrowth
Growl, planks and termites, spikes invite headlights
Revealing Legion Hellfire bikes and slain
Heads; Aims parked Coupe by evanescent optic
Wires, tires cough specks of ancient dirt, Cowells
Detects scents of electrified flesh, Rangers
Yell, pointing to a ranch house with a pine green
Industrial door; Aims at the ready kicks in
Feeble entrance, colt clears cluttered halls, soft
Pastel colors degrading from hungry summer
Fangs siphoning once docile identity
Now cultish resistance, banners of distant
Freedom, colors of old societies.
Cowells cleared the last room, snub nose revolving
Awaiting underground fiends to slice his skull
Wide open, what was behind the rosy
Rusted door was stacks of black and white notebooks,
Cracked pilot pens plastic scattered on a
Dove white dresser with dandelions painted
On the fractured wooden handles, blades of
Grass and freshly grown glass decorated
Tan carpeted floors, Aims scoured war run
Room and knew what Entity had resided
Within these crumbling walls, Aims called over
Legion MPs to confirm suspicions:
OBJ TARANTULA was here, inform
Gauless: COUNCIL DIRECTIVE 44
Is complete, awaiting course…Entity
00-4 preparing flight Delta,
Oceanside access to be determined:
We await Council. Cowells peered the infinite once more
Cascading bronze mountains glittering in
Maple syrup drizzled lens, new sun coded
To perfection reflecting shadows of
The unreal, unseen buried as centuries
Past, engines erupted from afar, mach
Ten majesty booming from Dark Tower,
Somehow aviation lighting reaches
Honey dipped pastures, soon we will arise.
Bespoke
I've got my father's lies
blood feuds and past pieces of familial armaments.
I open my dusty closet
brush six month old boxes, trinkets, electronics…
I slide shirts seeking something new to wear;
a new skin hiding behind
my tees or was it by my button ups?
I left it in here
waiting for it to be worn on a day
I could no longer stand my past.
coughing stardust tremors
Nothing ticks within my weary brain,
i’m still alone in january militant gloom.
I shatter like ice:
trillions of crystalline opiate screams.
Gaseous giants emerge from gurgling darkness
saps of sparking light reach out like hands from a swampy grave,
Wrinkled green ham hands breach my unsettling dreams,
horrors pave scolding tar roads…
I push away incoming sunshine,
embrace blanket zombified entities,
Tendrils sail blushing black hole abyss,
one purple suctioning tentacle blinks scarred orange sun bliss,
Phoenix risen fever beams dive like assassin mermaids,
dolphins onyx pulse my screeching unconscious,
noxious green flails swirling milky way.
Burdensome to my neighboring friends
i Isolate.
Eternal sunshine bury me with Death’s mercenary occult,
let me rule afar in nebulous realms:
explode with nuclear force;
consume garlic bread with diablo breathed supernovae
spaghetti soul fusing with unraveling dimensions
i am yours,
without doubt
no question
i
am
infinite.
Rose
I deceive pale night
sweet rose burns in lies.
Altered fate breaks my gentle state,
they want a machine, blood thirsty ghosts.
Blank mind buries me in ten mountains of snow,
sweet rose thorns my sides.
Crown of sorrows,
murder bound gentle beasts peck..
Flesh filet mignon
with squirming maggots in deep red.
Some notions return in apocalyptic scent,
hellfire bends afar- we dance among ghosts.
Slow december days winding to january gloom,
dearest friends learn my absence, off i wilt.
Sweet rose burns in lies
strange pangs sink and burst.
Dandelion love swallows goblet sun,
ruby wine thorns your midnight dress,
Red tie holds me like cerberus chains,
vain shadows meld my fate.
Valleys flooded harp your angelic entrance,
slopes splashing sol radiance
Wedding bells toll,
cold hel welcomes me.
Sweet Rose,
burns my veiling eyes.
홍대
Vintage clothes and tar spiraled smokes
fist fights with drunken model dames,
gents swaggering inn k p o p fashion.
Pubs booming with flesh-tearing bass
early 2000s hits send kids to rage;
tequila shots and capsuled white death.
Kisses ripe strawberry blush
baroque college girls buzzin’ under green and yellow
7/11 midnight neon hush.
Around devil’s den she scurries.
bar hopping dark-curled angel veiled with
razor tongue quick to butcher my ill-heart inflections.
I swim through Seoul afraid.
winter breeze fades my bare skull;
walking miles, passing thousands.
Streets narrow, shops call in neon buzz
skyscrapers fierce, unphased by glacial breath.
Sudden winds upend my nervous den,
flaky mind dropping anxious crumbs,
break bread with yourself;
Enemies come and go,
little by little you forget yourself and
meet up in a gleaming city all unknown…
Extinction
Crimson plasma soaring hazy highways adrift;
galvanic implosion divides misty abyss,
second chance to retort coming doomsday.
Soon blood will r u n
still… cold...
Palms leather bound rested on snowy peaks,
exposed grey clouds whisper ash sleet;
on wind shredded plateau we sing psalms sworn.
soon light will bind, claw stolen visage.
Like snake skin we fall
forever … slither s l o w.
Crawl spaces vermillion,
velvet warmth taps gravelly demeanor,
soft fingertips like chronic sunshine veiling void cellars;
Dilute frozen hatred with
past selves.
Alone we guide our cloned flesh famished for elapsing conscious
slide shows of traumatized prokaryotes,
hoppy malts splashing crusted walls- layers of past incursions-
sealed with demonic platelets thorned with keratin spikes.
Capillaries burst,
red cells rush.
We bury our ancient eyes resting till
sunlight punctures our eerie eyelids with cosmic radiance.
soon blood will run.
To Laugh Again
I remember that laugh.
12am shaking twist bottle caps.
Cool harbor mind deploying frigate fleets,
loading shrapnel cannon rounds.
mental artillery crashing eroded beaches.
Climb claimed machine gun nests,
rest once your weary heartbeat spits
re-sculpting fluids.
Vacay once voracious riptides,
shove hard liquors down.
Drunk to comatose depths,
swimming past layers of my room's darkness;
Laughing without
judgment.
hatred.
fear.
151
Sung night eccentric
tender evergreen nectar
infec.. tious…
Spread sentient liquor,
sweat of eve, revival infested.
anger swims like
Sea dragons in abyssal
canyons; burdens comet onyx
sealed, orange volcanic bliss
Covet our ghostly spirits
drifting unfinished countertops
nod at her, round up
Chivalry and spit wicked
whistle, sentient liquor
storms valhallan guts
Awake in afterlife;
unconscious fights my
snipers breath.
Caustic mind regrets,
fight time with swamped
Dimes, lost time and sickened
Seconds, lost to Beelzebub:
God reunites the visage, drink
to disunite the feelin'..
Twenty Years
Ami said forget september,
humid hills like sunken caves;
she said to unravel every pebble i threw
off the
cliff.
A thousand battles ago a child
stood at an event horizon,
cast a shadow to a foul, frigid
eternity.
Common pain like gunpowder
fading! odd days without mom; siblings
cascade off trembling iced capped
precipice.
She stares me down a crystal brown
bottle, fizzing foamy mnemonics:
stay here, don’t look back;
stay here…
Knots shocked by demented
symphonics, caustic rain burns
her prancing iris- expanding
evergreen.
To feel anything, anything at all
and cast it upon any universe
takes every liquor and brew
designed by
sickened creators.
Tap my expansive conscious,
learn of punches taken, lungs scarred,
eyes and cold days locked behind
rusting prison.
Loneliness and solitude drifting
eroding isles. I climb bladed cliffs,
fighting lowly spirits, meet my hefty
disguise.
Thunder tonight dame keep your
satin dry, gin patches your ill blush,
razor blades and bear mace for
wailing marauders.
She patted my back, said to
forget that spectral fear
hovering above my flailing
lines.
Afar in a distant hood in Houston,
Texas i was born to a rocky
marriage that left me on an edge for decades to come.
A New Dimension
I have always thought of emotions to be things that need conquering, pests to chase away and never allow to come back into the warm sanctuary of one's mechanical mind. As of late I have thought otherwise, trampling past trauma and making sense of my past on a daily basis, with help from others and sometimes myself, I have come to think of emotions as lively ships delivering precious cargo. For the longest time I have repressed or just been blind to these emotions. Some are so delayed that they don't dock my foggy harbor of a mind, even with luminous lighthouses cutting through the morning mist with katana-like precision, until a week after the inciting event. Other times it takes movies, tons of songs, and hours of blank stares to call them forth.
Knowing that I could not feel and that it was okay to feel was like discovering another dimension hiding right beneath my nose. It may sound like an exaggeration, but when I say I did not know I could feel, I mean that the idea was not even known to me. I always just used logic to move past any struggle, even on my worst days I just let them die off for the sake of surviving the days and months to come. I recall the past crushes I had in high school and spending weeks on end sucking out all the light and passion that came over me. Escaping through words, through music, and movies.
The mind traps our emotional explosions alongside our cosmic size synapses and traps them with each stimulus that dances along furious electrical pulses. I realized that our mind binds our memories, every similar experience or idea knots itself and becomes permanent in the mythos of our memories, and even if I gun down every emotion that comes at me they will come back through a song, through a movie, through a book, anything similar to that feeling.
It is okay to feel, and I know that now. I am just struggling now to start up a twenty two year old faulty motor. I have difficulty identifying my emotions at times, I just have vague senses of what they are, and it sucks at times because it feels like trying to do push ups after doing a two minute plank, my muscles tensed and weakened but still pushing for one more rep, one more my mind says. I hate this, I want to express myself with my family, I want to tell my friends what is troubling me but my frail emotional muscles are so delicate that even thinking about it wears me out.
Still I have discovered this new dimension and I will continue to fight for it. As I said, this is a bizarre realm to trek, men are stereotypically repressed to all hell, but I do not think this takes away from being a man in any way, still it troubles me a bit now and then.
I hope to show this new dimension to others at the most, and at the least create a little essay to vent and share a piece of myself. Thank you for reading as always.