The days are light in my arms
free of worry, full of charm
friends aplenty, my family’s love is warm
even my cubicle is close to my home
not a strand of my hair out of place
no need to stand and then pace
seems like things are going my way
my mind a Rubix cube one solid color
not mixed up and jumbled
put the dryer on low tumble
clouds out my view can’t hear any thunder
I know right now life’s full of wonder
good reason to sleep and not slumber
I give thanks for these days when the sunlight shines my way.
Late night ramblings
The nights are long the days bleed together, in search of constant distraction to alleviate the emotional turmoil that is within my mind. But the body can only stay awake for so long before my eyes give into the sandpaper feeling of sleepiness, and the nightmares begin to wreak havoc on any possible restful sleep that I may have hoped for. So going to sleep super late and tossing and turning till way too early in the morning never getting enough sleep, I grow agitated and irritable with a short fuse and no tolerance. The isolating thoughts of who would even want to be near me? Cause God knows if I could escape me I would. So I hide myself away in the safety of my room playing on my computer talking to my friends online, where when I feel tired of pretending to be okay or the distractions aren't working anymore I can just hang up the call and take a nap with hopes of not dreaming, or turn on a movie so I can have some time to just not think. This is the side of me I try desperately to hide from everyone cause who when not even me wants to near me.
this is just some rambling at 1:14am I am medicated for mood disorders and am aware that things are not okay I do have an appointment on Tuesday and so I am getting help just feeling and expressing if you have nothing supportive to say please just don't say anything at all. Thank you to whoever reads this and is supportive and thanks to anyone who realized they had nothing nice to say and said nothing at all I hope you the best.
P.S. I'm not suicidal just .... Tired.
The Uninvited Guest
The rain that falls into a dry well quenches the thirst of a dying man.
The food fed with love sates the hunger of a beggar's child.
A shelter provided with compassion shines a light in the darkness of a battered wife.
A random act of kindness bestows a rare gift by the Universe.
A life experience encounter gives birth to a new chapter.
A new door wide open sprouts hope for the future.
A shameless uninvited guest who rarely visits but when it does; shower it with the utmost respect.
The visit is often short and sweet.
Many would describe it "as a blink of an eye."
But when it stands in front of your humble abode, knocking ever so gently, it never turns up empty-handed.
The uninvited guest seeks nothing in return but humbly request a place for the night, to rest its tired bare feet from a long travelled journey.
The parting and farewell are always before dawn for it has to reach its next destination by sunrise.
As the hour welcomes dawn, pray the uninvited guest has departed safely for its new destination.
As each sunrise day welcomed, pray the guest has unannounced its uninvited appearance.
As the tears of gratitude and happiness it leaves behind, are permanent memories deeply embedded in the souls of humankind.
Image: No fear flare photography by funky64 (www.flickr.com/photos/funky64/)
Every Leaf Must Die
I'm not sure
why every leaf
but there's a mirror
wrapped around the dew
when they rest
soft upon the soil,
and I close my eyes
everytime I break trail,
that this broken world,
will leave shards
in feet as I pass by,
and I will follow
her bloody tracks
into whatever waits
beyond the effects of sun.
Raven meet me at the midnight hour
under the old clock tower
where the dead forever rest
thats where I should like it best
wear your favorite red satin gown
Let your ebony hair cascade down
bring along black satin ties
you will be a sight for sore eyes
Your porcelain skin glows from the moonlit beams
as I watch you waiting there nervously for me
your luscious ebony locks dance on the wind
as you wring the black satin ties I begin to grin
Slowly from behind I make my way to you
this experience i feel is long past due
you've teased and tortured me long enough
I'm calling you out now on your bluff
I place my hands firmly on your hips
Making sure you wont escape my grip
as I kiss your necks supple skin
I feel your resolve begin to give in
I take the ties in my hand
tying yours behind your back as planned
whispering seductively in your ear
Tempting desires for you to hear
you fight me not on this devilish plan
feeling excited by this crazy man
I unzip your gown with one single tug
as I smile at you looking so smug
I push your dress to the ground below
your body now is mine to know
now in heels and stockings alone
it's time to hear your lustful moans
Nails clawing at my skin
Teeth gnawing me from within
screams shrilling in my mind
the pain causing me to go blind
A raspy whisper tells me lies
making me wish that I could die
he wants me tortured this I know
for she has told me the devil has told her so
but why is it me he taunts
why is it me he wants
he could have any he desires
to pull down into hell's fires
but the flames become wild
when fed by God's child