Weather of Life
I can remember when I didn't have to try and be happy.
I don't know when the wind came and changed that.
Maybe a breeze was always there but I was too young to decipher what it was.
But then how is happiness a different season now.
If it's been here my entire life how did it take me so long to feel the storm.
Mark
Today I can feel my hand lingering towards
Pen & Paper
It's a comfort
Even if what I'm writing
Is not.
Complete
I find comfort in your arms
And it's enough
I lie there while you fill your void
Wondering why I don't.
One
It's not because of you
so I don't show it
You can't fix me
so why expose you to it
This mask I wear makes you feel
happy
one is better than none.
Remorse
I feel valid in my points
But you don't see them
I want to apologize for how I acted
But not for what was said
The guilt I feel is not regret
But remorse for how it made you feel
I feel valid
Holding Back For Who?
Thirty drunken minutes later
The wave of emotions I was
hiding emerged
Why does my mind betray me?
Everything I do should make me
happy and in place of that is
irritation
confusion
and completely forced
aloneness.
I don't feel alone because nobody
cares
I feel alone because I don't want
anyone to touch me
hearing people speak makes me
cringe
the fact the I cannot not fake a
smile makes me hate myself.
I don't want to pretend anymore
I don't want to hide from others
But maybe
I still want to hide from myself.
Birthday
Today has been an amazing birthday!
And not in the sense that everybody was here because they weren't
And not in the sense that I received all the presents I wanted because I could careless
But in the sense that today I've realized my life is perfect
Today I know who I am and I am happy and proud of it
I envy myself and want my own life and this is something completely new to me
I am in love with myself as a person and in love with my life and all surrounding it.
Unknown Beings within Ourselves
Bitterness that covers
disappointment
Insecurities caused by
replacement
Confusion of feelings all
blurred into one
Hope with a small
flicker under water
Mirror battling each side
of reality
One being imploding
with too much.
Promises of an Answer
Anger comes towards everyone
But it's just battles in my head
The puzzle of my problems unveiled
But the pieces still don't fit
Every vibrance of my mind set free
But stuck right here,
I lie
