Think of me
When the sun is shining and you feel blessed
Think of me now and then think of me then
When the curtains close and you cannot rest
Think of me over and over again
Find bits of me in each person and place
Think of me think of me think of me think
When reality hits you in the face
Think of me with every breath and each wink
So think of me and all I'm made up of
Pack it into the baggage you're hauling
When you think that you are falling in love
When you find out that you are just falling
Remember my trust when I fell for you
Remember the hell that you put me through
I remember the room
in the back of your house
with the old box TV
on a thin metal shelf
and reclining chairs
that sat against the walls.
I remember the music-
Papa always loved to play the piano.
The room in the back had no door,
so his music always let itself in
and floated around the room,
making itself, and us feel, right at home.
(his favorite song still dances through my head sometimes)
I remember when the music stopped.
I wasn’t old enough to understand why,
but you started watching TV with us.
I remember the movies.
You only ever had two:
Hairspray and Black Beauty.
(I still can’t watch either without thinking of you)
I remember when the movies stopped too.
I remember the quiet.
When the white walls
became the loudest thing in the house,
and the silence
told me everything
the grown-ups wouldn’t say.
I remember when they cleared the room:
The day your hospital bed replaced the recliners.
Your nurses had to stay around the clock
and all our family from out of town
started to visit.
I remember the day the quiet broke:
Dad picked us up early.
I didn’t let anyone see me cry.
I remember the day they cleared the bed too.
and our room
was just a room.
I remember saying goodbye.
But what if the rain
has a fear of falling?
What if I do too...?
I'd rather be myself in hell,
than who you want me to be in heaven.