in a chair
that looks as if it belongs in a fancy furniture store
Bright faces in the dark
i write what I see
which isn’t much, as the scene shop door is only cracked
Rays of cold light fall across the room
the real light stands before me
dressed in 16th century clothing
plastic dagger that, from afar, might look slightly metallic
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who sees it
In a brief 45 minute span
he’ll kiss two girls
At least it’s only a stage kiss.
maybe I’m always doing it
acting like I’m fine
like I’m not the tiniest bit in love
like his opinion doesn’t matter that much
The more he scoffs and giggles
the more pain I feel.
it’s not his fault
i don’t think it’s necessarily mine either
just an unfortunate layout of events.
i don’t think you could begin to fathom
how much time i’ve spent thinking about you.
crying over you.
waiting for you.
and the simple words i said
the words, “I like you.”
simply just doesn’t give it justice.
it doesn’t portray an ounce of emotion i feel.
it’s been eleven months
three hundred thirty-five days
eight thousand and forty hours
and so, so many minutes
that i’ve been thinking about You.
this is what i like.
it has to be.
i was born into my fate
a dice already rolled
heaven or hell
it's already been decided.
i've already been categorized, my eternal prison cell has been ready forever.
i don't want that fate
even if it's the one everyone else is choosing.
i want a chance.
give me one.
a smell wafts
it’s the coriander seeds
it’s a sign
a sign of death
a vision of blood
talons snapping bones
for a single glance
a sign of approval
a notion that I exsist
but it doesn’t come.
it never comes.
She says I'm worthless,
i'm starting to believe it myself.
when I take things
people get so mad at me,
but when they
with the worst of intentions
i just shrug it off.
our society is freaking messed up
when you walk in
my heart seems to float away
when you smile
i want to kiss you
when you hug me
i know that I want to be with you forever.
i can't explain the happiness I feel when I see you.
you're just so amazing
and you don't know it, or think it
which just makes me so sad.
you are so beautiful
and just so, so perfect.
and I can't tell if i like you
or like-like you
that sketch uncle you've met twice before
excessively large turkey balloons
but it's so much more than that
all the sacrifices
all the miracles
all the hard work
from our ancestors
made this possible.
so, instead of just stuffing a turkey leg in your mouth
or chucking a football at your little brother's face
think about all the people who put you at that table.
your parents, your grandparents, and so many more people created this future for you
and even if it's just one day a year,
is how i feel
and i know i'm not
feels like it.