I've been here numerous time

I already know where this is going to lead

But in the end I take the leap

Again

When my funeral comes, I hope no one sheds a tear

After all, the moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life is finally here

Erase my accolades and forget about my career

That’s not what I want to be remembered for

It’s kinda weird

I detest the thought of being revered

I could care less about how many hours I clocked

Or how many certificates adorn my beige walls

Please don’t reminisce about my smile

It’s just a mask

There’s no need to pine over the past

I just want to depart quietly

My time is up

And yours is not

Make the most of what you got

the TedEd monkey has seized control again

somehow soaring over tumultuous seas

seized by a driving hyper focus

and yet it can't slay the beast

Because you're procrastinating and you can't finish half a semester in one night

Or can you?

Being spontaneous made me feel happy. The allure of uncertainty whispered a multitude of charming possibilities. I strode along aimlessly hoping for the chance of something happening serendipitously.

At least that’s how I felt before I met you.

I used to adore change but now I crave consistency. People come and go but I’m hoping your company will always feel like home. The crinkle in your smile and the glimmer in your eyes will never cease to make my heart rate rise. Simply being with you gives me motivagion to push through all sorts of tribulations and trials.

How you act may change with time. Change is inevitable. However, I’m confident that the inspiration you instill in others remains the sams.

I invite you to stay by my side even as life ebbs and flows with the tides.

Fate is fickle but one thing’s for sure. My adoration for you will linger forevermore.

-|-

TL;DR- Failed poetic rizz attempt

Pacing back and forth between the infamous liminal space of a 7/11 at midnight made me realize...

How much my clunky, junky wallet could actually buy

Although most of it consisted of wrinkled receipts and expired coupons,

a crumpled stack of fives was still enough to buy

A dozen cups of instant ramen

A handful of M and Ms

Fruit roll ups for miles

Stale plastic wrapped pastries suddenly seem worthwhile

Or if I was feeling more umami today

I could snag a carton of three dollar fries

A can of pringles and a questionable packet of microwave fried rice

All these bold yellow price stickers highlighted the perfect advertisement for my demise

How much has slid out of my grasp?

I think of the myriad of memories held beneath these spiral ridges

Dusty house keys, smooth ivory, brass knobs

Shattered glass, melted snow, front dew dotting my windows and lawn

Stubborn acrylic that refuses to wash off and cooking oil seething to the touch

Callouses emerging because I practiced a tad bit too much

Steel strings digging deeply and way too rough

And yet the all these memories can't hold a candle to the whiplash I felt

When I finally had to discern your ginger embrace wasn't heartfelt

At all

Beneath that smitten gaze lies an ebbing ache that won’t go away

That isn’t faith brimming in your eyes

It’s the look of pining throughout the night

Pondering all the what ifs and whys

As your heart unravels all the soft spoken words that have turned out to be rosy veiled lies

Would you be able to relive this time when your heart went alight?

Or is this always doomed to end in lingering spite?

As the stars begin to overtake the sky

The soft fusillade against your ribcage rouses awake again

And the throbbing pain wraps its cordons around your psyche once more

It’s a phantom pain that seems benign

Yet it constantly looms over and waxes with each passing moment

Continuing on and on forevermore

Fortunately, rumination is only transient

As all things do, this internal turmoil has to rest

Even if it’s just a fleeting instance of relief

The sorrow finally beckons you goodnight

And finally the dawn’s silence makes everything feel alright

Just for a moment

You can still smile

When you peer through a stream, what do you see?

Is it a clear image etched in rippling glass?

Or a foggy picture clouded by debris?

Time is a endless series of movements

Varying by intensity

Visions are capricious, fickle fiends

Fate ebbs and flows

Misfortune starts to unravel endlessly

Then serendipity passes by unexpectedly

No matter what the future holds

Sometimes you’ll just have to live spontaneously

So buckle down and mosey along

Just embrace your destiny

I'm starting to revert back to flitting gazes, fleeting praises and frenetic waving

I just can't help it

Whenever I see you around, I'm starstruck, smitten, and clumsily driven

I don't know what to say which is ironic because each and every day

When I see you, I never cease to leave with a stupid, toothy grin creeping upon my face

We talk and I often forget what I say

But the feeling of camaraderie and comfort always stays

I say I'm starstricken because your presence is akin to the celestial tapestry above

Often shrouded by the blankets of clouds or hidden by the light pollution all around

Despite all that, the stars still radiate brilliantly when you're sitting on a rooftop

With no lights, no smog and nothing to hide

Just authentic, warm specks of light floating about

It's when you're comfortably authentic that you shine best

The soothing sound of your soft spoken phrases

Coupled with a shrug and chuckle

Feels as cozy as a snuggle

The warmth when you clasp your hand with mine

As our fingers fumble and entwine

Just feels right

It's transient but that's alright

The way you same my name somehow sends my psyche alight

Your enthusiasm is stupidly infectious and blindingly bright

But I'd do anything to see that wonderful smile

Alas, I know you'll never feel the same

That's okay

Afterall, I enjoy seeing you around almost every day

It's a serendipitous twist of fate

A very very long compilation of silly romantic poems and commentary I wrote throughout my stay on Prose. It’s mainly for me to look back at and laugh.

——-—

What if I chased the red string of fate

As it slowly unraveled before my eyes

Violently fraying in every direction

Ripping through the wind with a cry

Such a thin, delicate thread to grasp

And it’s spiraling fast

I know it’s gone but I missed what was

Reminiscing over the hazy past

Even as it tears the skin of my palms

I can’t seem to let go of this rope

I miss the rosy red that once gave me high hope

Maybe someday I’ll unfurl my hands

But what if I fall into the abyss?

Will I last?

-|- Take chances. You never know where life will take you. And even if it turns out horribly, that’s okay. It’ll be a learning experience and you’ll come out of it stronger and wiser. -|-

——

Embrace and Star Gaze

Hold me in your arms

As we gaze afar into the twilight’s tapestry

We’re just insignificant specks beneath the stars

Hold me tighter as the dusk fades to grey

And a creeping crimson whisks the moon away

Stay by my side when the night subsides

When warm pastel clouds swaddle the sky

Keep your fingers interlocked with mine

Release that repressed sigh

It’s okay to cry

Rest your head against my leg

Or bury it within the crook of my neck

Rant about how life is a mess

Everyone is a wreck

Let it all out

It’ll be over in the end

I may be lost but there’s something I know

Through every high and the constant lows

Our home is where my heart resides

I cherish our time the most

Maybe we’ll part ways or perhaps we won’t

But the sun will always rise

-|- There’s always tomorrow -|-

—-

Chang-è

Chang-è

Although you may have been whisked to the moon

I promise I’ll always be beside you

Waiting each and every noon

Hoping one day you’ll descend

So I can come back to you

You’re the light of my life

None can compare

Though I shot down nine stars

They can’t hold a candle

To your fair air

Though fate is fickle

And our red string is severed

I’ll honor our traditions

Now and forever

When the dusk looms over the horizon

I’ll be there as the stars start rising

With a bottle of baijiu and your favorite cakes

Just like our very first date

Always yours,

Houyi

-|- The moon. The angst. The romance. -|-

———-

Brain Decay

It only takes a smile

For my rationale to decay

Brain cells rapidly withering

And then I’m always dismayed

When you look my way

I can’t meet your gaze

Because whenever I do

I forget what to say

The chuckle that follows your smile

And the sincere twinkle in your eyes

Never ceases to make my day

Unfortunately….

It also gives me immense brain decay

When our eyes interlock, I’m hit with a mental block

All of a sudden, I don’t know how to talk

-|- Awkwardness is actually very endearing. Especially when it’s paired with enthusiasm and sincere interest. Just be genuine and you’ll hit off with the right people for you -|-

——

Hi

When I say hi

You respond with a smile

Although the mornings are weary

And our exchanges are fleeting

Seeing you makes it worth the while

I'd take a few minutes with you

Over an hour with any group

-|- Quality time is a beautiful love language -|-

——

Visceral Metamorphosis

Stimulus: Nerves

Excitement is a frustrating ordeal

Your body betrays your brain

Every time without fail

Your desire to look calm and collected

Is shattered completely by that little smile

Surreptitiously creeping upon your face

And even under a street lamp's haze

Everyone can see the flush of red

That has begun to settle over your cheeks

As your mind begins to reminisce

Over a bond so sweet

You can feel it in your palms

Trembling beneath your sleeves

And the fusillade of your heartbeat

Incessant and upbeat

You can't ignore the pit in your gut

As butterflies begin to swell and flurry

It's a visceral metamorphosis

And the catalyst is none other than

Someone special to you

Take it from me

I know all too well

This intangible battle is a flickering frenzy

I am a silly hopeless romantic

Just waiting for something to happen

Time shall tell

And then we'll see

What will happen to me

-|- Crushes are inconvenient, aren’t they? -|-

—-

Flower Dance

Petals thrown all around

Swooped gingerly by air

Or winding up ensnared

In a vicious toddler's grasp

An organic defenestration

Of pastel hues

Dancing in the air

Floating to the moon

And someday I hope I can be one soon

Detached from my responsibilities

Simply drifting away until I decay

A vagrant petal carried by the tides

Simply biding time

Until my tabula rasa arrives

-|- Get them a journal with pressed flower pages -|-

——

It was only a moment

Although it was a fleeting blur

I can say with certainty

I loved you then

And I love you now

I adore that little bow

The one you flourish when you laugh

It’s a memory I’ll cherish even though it’s far back in the past

The way you combed my tresses with care

Makes everything else a blur

No matter what chaos whirs

I’ll melt into your embrace over and over again

All that’s left is a looming ache

What is this fate?

May as well gouge my eyes out of my face

But I’ll be okay

-|- The bare minimum may seem like the best that the world has to offer if you’ve never known better. Don’t beat yourself up for not realizing this. We’re all still learning. -|-

——-

I might fall in love with a passerby

Or I might not

It was just another missed connection

Caused by stymied footsteps, darting glances and an inability to talk

I don’t know where you’re from

And I don’t know where you’ll go

But hopefully we’ll cross paths at a fateful fork in the road

The multitude of times our eyes have locked

Gives me a sliver of hope

I adore how you light up when you talk

And how you adjust your pace accordingly when we walk

Next time we meet

I promise I won’t just gawk

-|- Missed connections hurt more than rejections -|-

———

Start of a Smile

It all started with a smile

I tentatively approached you as if I had just run a mile

Trudging through surreptitiously and hoping you’d catch a clue

I wanted to talk to you

But I didn’t know what to do!

So instead of saying hi, I tiptoed by

Then I finally cracked a smile

A grin so wry

And I held out a hand and made a proposition

”I think there’s something you should try!”

I bit back a sigh as you began to muse

Then your face morphed from puzzled to enthused

”Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

Thus began the ceaseless running gag

Whose consistency could rival Sisyphus’s routine

It just never ends

And I hope it’ll live on and on

Wheeeee

Thanks for being my friend

And I wish you the best

Until we meet again

-|- Despite the distance, friends will stay if they’re meant to be. You don’t constantly need to text people to keep in touch. After all, life is hectic and people are busy. But if you do see an old friend again, it’ll be like you never parted ways -|-

———

Clueless Romantic

You bemoan your seemingly unfortunate fate

I’ve heard your heartfelt complaints almost every day

”I’m a hopeless romantic!” you constantly say

Then you ramble about how nobody would reciprocate your affections the same way

I can’t help but feel dismayed

It’s like saying grass is gray

Or a brand new charger is frayed

It’s not true

I know several people who have silently pined after you

And before I knew it, I soon followed suit

How could I not?

I adore you

But the image I had of you was once very skewed

Once upon a time, you were merely an acquaintance

The polite student who accompanied me from room to room at school

Yet, I wanted to be your muse

But then I opened my eyes and realized there was so much more to see

All your eccentric interests and tendencies

Along with your fumbling, awkward side

It’s all very endearing to me

Despite what you think

You’re not hopeless in the least

People adore you but they’re simply too afraid to speak

I hope that some day you’ll find somebody

Who matches your energy

And embraces who you are fully

So you can finally be the adoring romantic

You desperately wish to be

But honestly I can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy

It seems as if you have no interest in me

Even though you’ve never told me directly

-|- Direct communication is cuter (and more mature!) than beating around the bush btw -|-

——-

Subtle Beauty

Crinkled eyes

Bright smiles

The flush of scarlet creeping upon your skin

As your heart rate continues to rise

Body language is a beautiful thing

Unrivaled by gaudy gestures

Because it paints the visceral feelings within

-|- You can be a bit of an open book. But honesty is refreshing -|-

——

Raindrop Prelude

The myriad of dew

After a storm

Was Chopin’s muse

The droplets fell

And his illness began to swell

But he continued to write with a pen

Blood and tears were his ink as well

Bed ridden during a tranquil rain shower

Then hit with immense turmoil

A storm that mirrored his internal struggle

All coalesced into a flurry

Of fiery ivory and diminished melodies

-|- Oh, to be someone’s muse… -|-

_____

Fell for a Jerk

Infatuation is a menace

That infects the most unsuspecting

I've become a victim

Which feels incredibly unsettling

But between you and me

They're not that bad

Just very outspoken

And misunderstood just a tad

Beneath all that just lies

A soft, polite guy

Wanting to be heard in the midst of

All the pandemonium passing by

-|-. Be open minded and kind hearted but please don’t make excuses for people’s wrongdoings -|-

——-

I’ll Miss You

I took each day for granted

Forgot that your gaze was transient

Smiles exchanged are merely fleeting

Although your laugh will never be forgotten

I may never hear it again

When the dawn emerges, we’ll part ways

But there’s so much more I have to say

Yet each time your eyes lock with mine

I just get so dazed

You steal my breath and my words are left unsaid

I like you but our time together seems to have come to an end

Yet, it never really began

What I see in you is all in my head

I haven’t even met you yet

-|- We don’t condone wishy washy behavior here. The only people that deserve to be yours are the ones who are sure of it and their actions reflect this. You’re not an option. You should be a priority. -|-

——

Dreamy Tides

Lyrics that I paired up with this tune: https://musescore.com/user/28489959/scores/6140853?share=copy_link

Vagrant eyes

Watching waves rolling by their empty side

Roaring

Calling

Pleas passing by

Eyes met mine

Finding words to pass the lonely times

Glass, tins

Broken

Just like my sight

I've been lost

In this world I don't feel is my home

Sand's crawling up skin

I don't know where I've been

I'll find my way

I'll be with you someday

I've seen you smile

Our hearts are broken

Taken by surprise

I....

I made a promise

So please don't sigh

All my old ways

I ask myself to just explain

And I cry

For I can't

Understand

This strange plight

You look through me

And I wish

I see what you've seen

Take your hand in mine

And we'll both find

Our own way to live this life

My dear!

Town of tides

We have found a place to call home

Rest your eyes

And come with me

A place all on its own

Now let's call it home

-|-

Author's note: I had fun with this challenge even though the end result is somewhat iffy.

The tune is from a short game known as Town of Tides! If you have an hour to kill, I highly recommend playing it. Here's a brief synopsis: https://odencat.com/en/game/shiosai/

——

How it Should Be

It's only a temporary respite

Darling, don't worry about me

Please don't cry

Just live your life

I promise to be there

Always by your side

Silently cheering for you

As you make stride after stride

There will be a next time

And maybe in another life

I'll fall asleep in your arms

Again and again

-|- Star crossed lovers is a trope that gets me in my feels every time -|-

——

I would have it no other way

Temporary respite

In the next life

I'll fall asleep in your arms

Again and again

-|- Maybe things are better when it’s shorter? -|-

——

Perfect Polysemy

Language barriers may stymie and stifle connections

But music is a universal gesture with no such problems

Although it was sang in a tongue foreign to me

The heartfelt vocals and the earnestly delivered pleas

Plucked my own heartstrings and struck a chord within me

As the artist finally began to tremble and squeak

From emotions that could no longer be repressed

Brought me down to stunned silence

And the verge of tears

Illustrating a flurry of visceral fears

The despair conveyed was all too familiar to me

Music is not as restrictive as language

However learning more about a piece

Brings about a more fulfilling understanding

Versus pondering about many interpretations

I wanted to know what those lyrics meant

To know their meanings to the best of my abilities

For understanding was the only way

To satiate my churning curiosity

So I started small

Looked up the title

And to my surprise

I had stumbled upon polysemy

The title of the song means "Somehow."

But it could also be "Heartless."

I found that combination to be very fitting

With a plethora of ifs

And a myriad of pain

Somehow and Heartless

Coalesce together to illustrate immense heartache

-|-

Excerpt

"Hey, if everything is thrown away

ねぇ、もしも全て投げ捨てられたら

Will it be easier to laugh and live?

笑って生きることが楽になるの？

It hurts my chest again

また胸が痛くなるから

Don't say anything anymore

もう何も言わないでよ

Hey, if everything is forgotten

ねぇ、もしも全て忘れられたなら

Is it easier to live without crying?

泣かないで生きることも楽になるの？

-|- Vocaloids wooo -|-

——

Lost in Air

Sometimes the most heartfelt words

Are lost in the air

Drowned in the cacophony

Of the ever busy world

But they'll reach their client eventually

Because destiny is persistent

And it'll bring together like minded souls

-|- Do you believe in fate? -|-

——

Kindred Flames

For so long, I've anxiously awaited the fateful day

When I could finally meet my kindred flame

Back then I didn't realize that they were brought together by a mutual spark

I just assumed the flames were one and the same

Wandering around the lonely world

Until they finally found each other's embrace

Reunited with their missing part

It's not that cut and dry

Sparks ignite and flames flicker capriciously

Eventually they die

Oftentimes the wind carries the flames

Helping them traverse mountains, seas and plains

A small spark may be whittled down by rain

Or exacerbated by lightning on the very same day

Swelling voraciously until a forest is set ablaze

I've chased a flame as they gravitated away

And for so long I've shouldered the blame

But their sparks never ceased

They just found somewhere else to be

Now their fire burns brightly for the world to see

I was a famished vagrant flame

Looking for another that seemed the same

It was a futile, one sided game

Something finally dawned on me

I was the only one able to fuel my flame

The flickering embers couldn't reach another

They were too small to grasp onto another fire

And too uncertain to make the leap of faith

Life hurtled trials and tribulations my way

And each bittersweet experience satiated my flame

Eventually the day came when it was strong enough

To reach another flame's embrace

-|- Are you ready to try again? -|-

——

Short Lived Infatuation

Admiration is a fickle, fleeting being. It comes and goes in waves of varying intensity and oftentimes, there’s no clear explanation behind what ignites its initial spark.

If I were to approach and ask a starry eyed child at a museum about their dinosaur fascination, I would be met by a response such as “Because they’re cool!”

But why? Why are they cool? Is it their sheer size? Or is it the air of mystery enshrouding their origins? Perhaps it’s their menacing array of teeth or claws.

Each child may give me a different response. But they all share the same, visceral admiration of the same subject.

Infatuation mirrors this. It’s random as can be. With each passing day I reminisce over the rush of excitement infatuation brings along. Which passerby would give me a transient swarm of butterflies today? And how long would this illogical haze last?

There came a day when the butterflies overstayed their welcome.

-|- What in the ever loving trash panda is the point of infatuation because I don’t know -|-

——

Happy Valentines! Kudos to you if you made it this far. Take a moment to remind your loved ones how much they mean to you.