I feel valid in my points
But you don't see them
I want to apologize for how I acted
But not for what was said
The guilt I feel is not regret
But remorse for how it made you feel
I feel valid
Holding Back For Who?
Thirty drunken minutes later
The wave of emotions I was
Why does my mind betray me?
Everything I do should make me
happy and in place of that is
and completely forced
I don't feel alone because nobody
I feel alone because I don't want
anyone to touch me
hearing people speak makes me
the fact the I cannot not fake a
smile makes me hate myself.
I don't want to pretend anymore
I don't want to hide from others
I still want to hide from myself.
Gentle breezes caress my back
As the sound of rain trickles
And tickles my inner tranquility
There's nothing more relaxing than a
When anxiety fogs my brain
The rain cleanses
And washes it away
Hissing from the throne
Of an empty ice castle
Cold blooded serpent
Who did a number on you('d)
Send chills down the Reaper's spine
Give me strength
I fell a long way, down into the Abyss.
Came out anew. Crawled out from the depths into a different world. I could feel a surge rippling beneath me, tremors of ancient power.
A mirror's reflection, in eyes and glass, is the true deception. I am not the same underneath my skin suit. What would come of me, now that I could move the Earth? Pick up boulders like they were cotton balls.
Bend steel as a child would bend licorice.
I will not look my parents in the eye. They would see past the pale exterior and know I am not the thing that was birthed by them. What tales would their eyes tell as they gazed upon my becoming?
I thought I could bring order to chaos. I thought I could be made whole.
A human bone is strong, durable. To my hands it becomes chalk, a burst of white powder the spreads across the air like the baker's flour table as he slams his fists upon raw dough.
He laughed at me. Cracked his chapped lips apart and howled out guffaws. A song bird chirping beneath the paw of a bear.
I made quick work of him, crushed his bones until chalk dust poured out of his body. Dead twigs snapping beneath feet.
I hope I find the strength to stop myself.
Unknown Beings within Ourselves
Bitterness that covers
Insecurities caused by
Confusion of feelings all
blurred into one
Hope with a small
flicker under water
Mirror battling each side
One being imploding
with too much.
"It's always that easy. The problem is, you don't want to bury it."
Lock it away, seal the case,
never let it surface or touch your face,
a simple caress, a broken sigh,
it's about time you've said goodbye.
A memory pressed against my cheeks,
I haven't heard from him in weeks,
it throbs, it hurts, it makes me cry,
why won't this incessant feeling die?
Living, breathing, beating soul,
why must you hurt me so?
Please rid me of this tattered heart,
mend me, lest I fall apart.
Burn it, ban it, kill it now,
these feelings you must disavow,
with fragile lips you kiss farewell,
may these pains part ways from me in Hell.
Maybe the real me can be who I am with you
Maybe who I am alone is the mask
Wishful thinking so easily turns to denial
A life of my own played like a movie
All I've ever wanted
A corrupt imaginary life being played; in and out of my head.
Seeing is believing
My eyes were closed. Tight.
A palpable fog transcended the peaks of lies
Vision opened, to the blurry haze.
All was distorted.