just when you think life has slowed down enough to catch your breath, it sends another punch into your gut, stealing away the little air you have left. than you just stand there. watching out at the world moving around you, friends growing and for that second that seems to stretch an eternity you wish your life was as simple as 'theirs'.

envy overtakes you than later turns to anger and you find yourself what have you done to deserve this. you Ask God to grant you direction, send a message in any form. and although in your mind you repeatedly tell yourself that you have faith you dont feel it in your heart nore your core. doubt lurks behind those dark thoughts and somehow they forcefully push through. and you stand there with a smile plastered on your face and your emotions dancing, twirling, screaming, crying with in you.

God, I am weary and my bones aching. My flesh is tired from going through so many bad times. When is it my turn to be happy? is all this pain and aching part of Your plan for me that will lead to my purpose, or am i being punished? Lord, you say you give the biggest battles to your strongest warriors, but God i am tired and i can no longer carry myself. everything within me wants to crawl into a ball and disappear. i exist in time and it all seems to fly past me.i exist and have long ago felt alive. I apologize for my doubt for i know you never leave my side, I apologize for the anger i carry within me towards You for i know not the bigger picture i fit into nore that these trials and tribulations are what is needed of me to get to Your destination. Lord, remind me in though times to look at my blessings rather than the bad i have gone through. Carry me where i can no longer walk. Guide me where i cannot see, heal every broken part of me. Be my strength on days i struggle to get out of bed. Lord, open doors for me where they have been shut. hear my cry, Lord. I am weary and I need You , God

Heart pumping

adrenaline rushing

fall down

back up again

round and round

Dizzying

swirling

running

twirling

But dear, you don’t have a past.

Endless words, all of which I created. Something filling my senses with agony, and in a way only someone like us could make.

“I don’t care,” they’d say. “I don’t care what you did. I don’t care what you said. I don’t care what happened. All I care about is who you are now.”

the drive was long

winding

bouncey

over rough roads.

mile after mile

town after town

till dark.

the talk was light

jokes

stories

nothing serious.

the hand was large

soft

probing

higher and higher.

the drive was long

winding

bouncey

nothing ever the same.

#thedrive #thedrivetoshame #drivetoperdition

Looking out the window

I seek for something distinct

Hugs and happiness

Captures my eye

Turning back to my desk

I feel distress

Feels like it’s been ages

In this trapped prison

Picking up a book

Paints a smile on my face

The sense of calmness

Let me out with a sigh

Why not embrace this

And look on the positive side

There are ups and downs in this pandemic

But make sure to stand strong

Make yourself happy because you’re all you need to put a smile on you face!

Be strong throughout this pandemic and encourage yourself! Do something that makes you happy. ❤

You took out my heart

And understood it.

Clearing all the clots of confusion

And pumping new blood of dedication.

I was so happy at the change

But the moment you placed it back,

My mind started filling it with corruption

And again flew the cells of doubts

With haemoglobin sabotaging

My love of life.

×∞ Adin

20 November 2020

M is the initial of my first name, Miesha. I have grown up with people pronouncing my name in different forms; after a while, I got used to it. The reason I was chosen this name before birth is a sad story. My mom was pregnant with me when she saw on the news that a young black girl with the same name spelled Myiesha was killed and found in a dumpster not far from where she lived. She found the name beautiful and wanted to honor the little girl by naming me after her.

Miesha is derived from Michael(Slavic), which means “Gift from God,” A gentlemen read my nametag and asked, “Do you know what your name means to us in my country?” I replied, “No, what does it mean?” He said, “In Swahili, it means “Life.” And after that, a few of my Arabic friends' grandparents would say to me “Alive and Well,” in Arabic.

My middle name is Clarice, and I was named after my maternal mother’s middle name. But what it means; “Bright and Clear.” Or “Gentle “

I am a Bright and gentle soul who is Alive and Well and a Gift from God.

Pinipilit isulat bawat titik

At bawat salita

Pinipilit ikubli bawat luha

Sa bawat patak ng tinta.

Pagsulat dati ay tila paghinga

Napakadali sapagkat buhay na buhay.

Buhay na buhay sapagkat nariyan ka,

Musika sa aking tainga.

Ang iyong tinig na isang kapayapaan

Sa gitna ng ingay ng lungsod,

Ang siyang pumapawi sa bawat pagtangis.

Ngunit ngayon walang katapusan

Bawat pagtangis.

Bawat pagtangis ay isang dalangin

Na ikaw ay muling marinig at mahagkan.

Bawat salita pinipilit magtugma

Lahat ng idyoma at biro

Nagamit na,

Ngunit sadyang hindi kumpleto ang tula,

Kapag wala ang musika.