I dread it when the guilt
limps off for the
numb to slink in
and put a hood over my eyes
and turn the volume down
while my bones cure into concrete
and my chest squeezes like a blood pressure machine
and my spine curves limply in a C for Can't
and my stomach hosts a resentful fire
and my skin droops and tears at itself
and my ears dam so that no words can grasp me
while a girl screams from within
and I cover her mouth.
There is some shit that you shouldn't have to see
Hear about how he popped those pills like candy
But it's okay now
It's normal here, really
There are some things that I never thought I'd know
The reek of empty in the back of your throat
But that's a distant memory
It was all a dream, maybe
There are some words I didn't want to speak
The more me I lost the more they leaked
But all the holes have since been filled
Everything is neat and clean
Answers
Where did
a Happy Girl
learn to lie so well?
How could
a Priviledged Girl
be so unsatisfied?
If not
a Trauma Girl
then why the scars?
She isn't
a Drama Girl
so what's with the masks?
Why can't
the Word Girl
learn how to speak?
picking up the pieces of me
all the broken pieces of me
all the shattered mangled aching
pieces of me
I don't have the answers.
don't know how we got here
don't know why I found a pain
to punish myself for being
when all I ever wanted was
to be something special
I thought I needed a tragedy
what is wrong with me,
I didn't need to bleed to be
enough.