it hurts to breathe.
my lungs are gasping for air, like there's not enough to spare.
I start to panic, my mind is manic.
I start to pull my hair, I wonder if I were to go if anyone would care.
is this life fair?
I have been so sad, even so mad.
but I know being a part of life is rather rad.
I'd be missed miserably by my mom and dad.
they have been all I've really ever had.
I miss the people I've lost, but life has a cost.
I keep wishing them back, or a trip to the clouds is where I want to pack.
just to see if there's something so much more up there, it is what I think about while just sitting here.
my demons can smell my fear, my head isn't all that clear.
I have to calm myself down, I want to smile instead of frown.
I feel like if I don't I'm gonna drown.
we weren’t together long, but our beautiful bond was strong.
your intentions were never wrong, your laughter was like a beautiful song.
your smile lit my soul,
your eyes made me see the light of love.
I hope your eyes light up when you look down on me from above.
the sunshine I feel on my skin, the warmth I feel from within.
why did you have to leave me so soon?
when I think too much about it, it makes me swoon.
you were the kindest, sweetest soul.
I always thought you were so cool.
I was so proud of you, for how far you had come.
maybe your proudness you felt towards yourself was numb.
what a horrible thing, addiction is what I wished you could’ve overcome.
I hope you know much I loved you, I hope you know how much I cared.
so many more life’s little moments I wish we could’ve shared.
tears are shed, and along with the pain comes rain.
but I forgive you, my love.
...until we meet again.
the sunflowers are blushing, longevity
the crows are glossy black and raucous
the shrieking sun peeks through the ghostly clouds
you can hear the blood-curdling howl of the werewolf wind
you can feel the fall colors wrap around you like a tartan backdrop
cider is at cedar
the apple trees are honeycrisp
the ground we walk on is caramelized flannel
a flannelette latte
an autumn auteur
a burnt umber umbrella
Tiny Dancer .....
her zodiac sign
her insomniac deign
living life lifelessly
wishing life could be leisurely
barred in hospital band bracelets
chemo and chemise
radiation and radio music
infirm in an infirmary
but she wants be
blooming in burgeon
dancing in the daylight
scaring the living daylights out of her cancer
wanting to be tangled in locks of love
she'll be hyped
Blue bonnet .....
a blue-flowered lupine
framing her paper doll face
wood pulp pulmonary sprigs
like butterfly wings
spread with butter
on her wing bones
she wears moth cloth
and lives in a molasses moss country house
with primitive gingerbread tea stained paneling
and sun tanning
channeling her inner
natures treasures buffet
Carnation carnival .....
hearts and tarts
date and time
a bouquet of Van Gogh sunflowers
golden-rayed frayed fringe
like drooping dripping honey
to stick to Him like honey
the cards date read, Feb. 13 at 6 PM
send me a 'yes' or 'no' DM
I never sent Him a Direct Message
I wanted tonight to be a surprise
I'm not vainglory, but my vanity gave me confidence in my appearance
a rose quartz stone dangled from my sweetheart neckline
the moon cradled me in crescent incandescent
as I leisurely saunter along
I see the carnival
I can smell the mass of fluffy spun sugar
I can taste ice cold lemonade
my Mary Jane's found chewing gum
I am pathetically immovable
I am saved by the touch of a hand
"It's a shame, I was hoping the kind of Mary Jane you were parading would be the kind you smoke. Too bad shoes can't blow bubbles, you could've levitated yourself out of this predicament."
there He was, mischievous and marvelous
I smiled, "have you been watching me?"
He snickered, "I've been expecting you, miss Kate."
I gasped, "you're my secret admirer? I don't understand why you'd want to admire me, I'm a bookworm who loves anthology and biology. An introvert worrywart."
He stared, "you're beautiful. I have a surprise. Close your bashful eyes."
I closed my eyes
a carnation was planted behind my left ear
I was about to ask, "..."
when he asked, "will you be my Valentine?"
I answered, "yes, you've always been mine. Valentine."