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tsid
25 Posts • 31 Followers • 13 Following
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tsid
4 reads

only time by enya

my father loves this song

who knows anything? only time

very very ironic that he loves this song

only time knows what will happen tonight, tomorrow, next year

only time ha ha ha ha ha ha

only time

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tsid
3 reads

one more smile by yebba

i love her voice so much

i feel she understands me so much, but really, her songs just exude extreme pain

i HAVE been living out of this suitcase too long

i have been in this mindset for so so so long

her songs evoke change and pain and self love

just extreme pain

that is all i feel

extreme pain

i am so tired of experiencing extreme pain

i am so tired of being tired

i am searching for healing

i am doing the healing, but i want a catalyst

i want the process sped up

i want to enter the world unphased by actions of the past

its not fair i want to be loved they way i deserve to be loved

stay a while

shes begging, so so relatable

stay a while

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tsid
4 reads

je te laisserai des mot by patrick watson

je ne comprende pas

i think, my french isn't good at all

feels like hope, feels like loss

feels like a struggle between father and daughter

or maybe thats just how i see the world

it means i will leave you notes

is that not what this is

is that not what every day is

every day i wake up and cannot get out of bed

every single day i am riddled with an overwhelming sense of loneliness

every single day i am washed over with extreme jealousy and rage

every single day i am robbed, and i mean robbed, of the relationship i deserve

my first heartbreak was my father

my last heartbreak will be him

i do not feel resolution

i feel anger

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tsid
4 reads

memoir #2 by maria pseftoga

solemn sadness

do i like the cycle?

do i like feeling bad?

do i like being the victim?

do i like the excuse, the but-this?

do i like the attention?

where is the attention?

solemn sadness

do i understand the gravity of solemn sadness?

do i understand the issues at hand?

the pressure? the disappointment? the relationship?

will i ever understand the relationship?

is it worth having?

where is the attention?

solemn sadness

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tsid
7 reads

so cringy to read my old posts lol im so much smarter now

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tsid
2 reads

malcolm x poem

the warmonger, the cain to martin’s abel

the mixture of the religion of peace and the hatred of other

remember brother and sister, by any means necessary

the radical man, the better martin

the audacity to speak his mind

the face of problack, the face of anti them

does he make you angry? does he offend your senses?

the martyr of the black cats, the black berets

the influence of leftist black youth, the creator of change

the same story over and over, the marches for the same reason

the murder of the suspicious black man

the dismantling of the black cats by the white men in suits

the wails of mother losing another, the anger of brother

the jailing of father, the pregnancy of sister

the rage of us, the black power

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Profile avatar image for tsid
tsid
3 reads

circle of life

the lion king musical is such an amazing experience i hope to one day witness.

the movie itself is dear to my heart, because it captures the regality of the people back home, and how we value and measure life completely different from the europeans, the asians, the south americans, the north americans.

this song, circle of life, has some swahili lyrics, and as glad as i am to get african representation, i cannot wait for me.

this is on the same string as being obsessed with tiana from princess and the frog, because she is black, but she isn't african.

regardless, i love the lion king.

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Challenge
how would you like to change the world?
Any genre, any format, how would you like to change the world? but only in 30 words!
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tsid
23 reads

changing the world

i would wipe our minds and teach "us and them" instead of "us vs. them".

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Challenge
Rage
Do you have anything to rage about ? Go at it !! Cursing is allowed. You can rage about anything .
Profile avatar image for tsid
tsid
24 reads

rage

i know that it's all i've been posting about ever since i got back online, but i never thought it would be this hard. loving someone with that special love, the one you see in movies, between a lovely old couple.

i'm still young and everyone says i have plenty of time, and i believe them. i just don't like being alone in that sense. i focus on school a lot, and so does he. we aren't dating (cause our immigrant parents would decapitate us if they found out), but we are closer than friends.

it's nice when it's nice, and it's lonely when he wants to be alone. as an extrovert, my social battery rarely runs out, and his always does. sometimes it's his depression, and sometimes, he just wants to be alone. i don't experience either of those things, so it's really frustrating when i have to busy myself with other things instead of talk to him.

wack.

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Challenge
How are you, really? How is your life?
Take this however you want- a vent to get stuff out, a space to talk about the small/random things no one listens to, etc. One of my favorite things to do is listen. So, have at it, I'm all ears.
Profile avatar image for tsid
tsid
13 reads

golden years

everyone tells me that im so smart, so mature, so tall, so pretty, such a leader. that i give them hope for the next generation. that i should enjoy my golden years, where i'm free and stressed out, i make all of my firsts, first love, first job, first apartment.

no one tells me that im going to be alone, for the most part, while all my of age-mates are sucked into their black holes of despair. that i am one of the few teenagers i know that aren't suicidal. that i don't have a mental illness, and that makes me stand out.

of course i have my bad days, but they never last long, unlike my classmates, and friends, and friends of friends. no one tells me that ill have to stare at my mom have much worse than bad days, have to stare at my love have much worse than bad days, and be able to do nothing.

as an empath, i feel such deep emotional pain when i know there is nothing i can do to release the mental burdens of those i love. it's all in their head, and no matter how many jokes i tell, and how crazy i act, i cannot make it go away.

the first time i realized that i am a minority in that sense was grade 10. as the youngest, most expect me to be the most immature, and im not (i hope so). however, i am the happiest, by far.

my golden years are good for me, and bad for everyone else im taking the trip with.

wack.

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