At the age of 18, we must decide our fate

Majors and uni, what route will we take?

We study and work and practice till we drown

And all for what? surely not a crown.

And yes, our gift is neither a crown nor throne

Instead it's expectations the adults have thrown

Straight at our faces while we attempt to fight

Out of this shit hole of no happiness nor light.

“You're not choosing that? What a waste,” they say.

“We expect great things from you,” they exclaim.

But maybe it's not about what they can see

And more about what we want to be

Because if we're pushed to become people we're not

forced into roles we hadn't sought

what's the point in living life?

If we're not allowed to do what we like?

So parents, teachers, let it be our call

To decide what we want, if we even want to at all

Because life isn't just a one-way road

There's so many more ways to go.

You're like a drug I know I shouldn't take

A car at 120 without any breaks

The exhilarating uncertainty

The crashing painful reality

You were never meant to be mine anyway

Although I pitifully wish for it every day

You can call me a fool for loving you

You were obviously way too good to be true

I don't think I've ever called anyone pretty

But hell, your name even rhymes with it, Lily

It felt so wrong yet so good too

as I whispered "She's so pretty" into the silence of my room

You're pretty like the sky and the rising morning sun

Or the silly laughters when we have a little fun

Photos can never capture how pretty you are

Your smile can outshine any and every star

You're so pretty, Lily, even time stands still

That I wish to tell you, but I know I never will

That feeling I get when I look into your eyes

Though I look away quickly because in truth? I'm a bit shy

And I dare to even tell that it only happens with you

At least I tell you that much of the truth

I joke and say it's because your gaze is too intense

But really it's cuz you make my world make sense

And that scares me because I'm not supposed to even love you

In the damn way that I really really do

Where there's smoke, there's a fire

Deep in my bones, there's a flaming desire

The want to make you mine, impossible to extinguish

No matter how hard I cry in anguish

Every time I begin to see ashes

It torments me like infinite matches

Lights them again like a cruel-hearted lighter

Where there's smoke, there's a fire

Lyric prompt by @anibrava (Instagram)

People talking but all I hear is static

Mind a constant buzz while I start to panic

Suffocation at its finest

So all I can do to try is

Shut all of this jumble out

While I scream a hopeless shout

Lyric prompt by @anibrava (Instagram)

Words I could never say

Swirl as I hide in shame

Crashing down like a wave

Taking my breath away

Words I wish I could say

Just a fucking wild goose chase

Beat myself to make it stop

Bracing for the heart-wrenching drop

I know that I'm wrong to wish

For a future that will never exist

But sometimes all I can do is hope

For you to tell me, "Let's go home".

I know, I know, I know

You weren't meant to be mine and it's fine

I know, I know, I know

I wasn't meant to fall for you and it's fine

But even if the world was ending

I won't tell you, right?

I won't tell you that you were my light

I'll make sure you never know of it

All my feelings are irrelevant

Even if the world was ending

I won't tell you, right?

Call you and make you laugh all through the night

Talk about when we just watched the sky

Just as friends that's how we'll say goodbye

If the world was ending

I won't tell you, right?

Right?

Note: This is a version of the song, "If The World Was Ending" by JP Saxe and Julia Michaels that I created.