Prickly
Emotions so near the surface
Joy hurts, too.
You scared me, but everyone does.
The cruelty of fear:
"Only connect," if only
I could stop starting sentences with "I."
I am afraid. I am alone.
I would like to see you.
We don't all get to sit around and drink and say whatever we want. I love you but you make this so hard.
Do I bore you now
Do you not believe (I know you don't)
Am I the reason you go to sleep
Am I the reason we don't have fun
Anymore
Time gone like an escalator folds
Stillness, fear, paralyzed
Slips through my hands
Racing thoughts, heart, mind
You frighten me more than I do
And that
is saying
a lot.
I thought you broke me.
(Maybe you thought so, too.)
The truth--poor boy--
You broke you.
I'm so sorry I put you in the back seat when you belonged beside me all along
I'm sorry I got everything all wrong
I'm so grateful I woke up to see what I now know is true
When I make mistakes, I'm meant to make them with you.
(But I hope I never do)
I asked for help with something today. And I followed through and I *didn't* die, and she helped me and it was good. I am shedding my skin and it hurts, but
I hear
that fear
makes the new skin beautiful.
Tell yourself they don't
want to hear. But the truth is
you don't want to tell.