Prickly

Emotions so near the surface

Joy hurts, too.

We don't all get to sit around and drink and say whatever we want. I love you but you make this so hard.

Do I bore you now

Do you not believe (I know you don't)

Am I the reason you go to sleep

Am I the reason we don't have fun

Anymore

Time gone like an escalator folds

Stillness, fear, paralyzed

Slips through my hands

Racing thoughts, heart, mind

You frighten me more than I do

And that

is saying

a lot.

I thought you broke me.

(Maybe you thought so, too.)

The truth--poor boy--

You broke you.

I'm so sorry I put you in the back seat when you belonged beside me all along

I'm sorry I got everything all wrong

I'm so grateful I woke up to see what I now know is true

When I make mistakes, I'm meant to make them with you.

(But I hope I never do)

I asked for help with something today. And I followed through and I *didn't* die, and she helped me and it was good. I am shedding my skin and it hurts, but

I hear

that fear

makes the new skin beautiful.

Tell yourself they don't

want to hear. But the truth is

you don't want to tell.