I'm like a Disney Princess, though I'm not considered as one
Intelligent like Belle, masculine like Mulan
Hopeful like Cinderella, as kind as Snow White
Faithful like Anna, a naturalist like Pocahontas.
But I'm more likely as Merida, who is brave,
Who don't need a prince, and I don't need one to be saved or loved.
Though in the end, i'm like those other princesses
Who awaits for a prince, who, in the end, waits for my happy ending.
I was sitting on my bed, reading my favorite book. I looked at the clock on my drawer, 8:43 p.m., maybe I should get ready to bed. Suddenly, I heard my seven year old daughter screaming from her bedroom, "Mommy!"
I quickly ran to her bedroom and saw her holding her blanket while looking at her closet. "Marie, what's the problem?" I said while coming to her bed. "Mom, there's a monster in the closet", she said, still terrified. Monsters don't exist. "Honey, it's just your imagination."
I sat beside her and hugged her tight. "No! Mom, it's not just an imagination, I heard a knock coming from the inside of the closet."
"You'd been watching horror movies, it might have gotten to your head," I sighed as I rubbed her back. "You should go to sleep." I was about to get up from her bed when hold my hand tightly. "Mom don't -" There was a loud knock from the closet. I look at her, wide-eyed and gulped. "Mom..."She whimpered as she began to scoot over. The knock began to get louder and harder.
I stood up and went to the closet slowly, Marie was looking at me wide-eyed, realizing what I was about to do, she whispered. "Mom, stay here."
I slowly walked to the closet as the knocking stopped. I was at the door when I heard a voice from the inside. I held the knob and quickly opened the closet, revealing another Marie, same clothes same face and same voice with the one on the bed. Shocked and horrified, I looked over the bed and saw the original Marie looking at me with fear, “Mom, what’s going on?” Suddenly, Marie from the closet screamed, “Mom, I’d been knocking in here! Why didn’t you open the closet?” She stood up and walked towards me, as I slowly back up. Am I seeing doubles?
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
Who’s the doppelganger?
She’s now outside the closet and stopped walking. I saw the original Marie looking at the doppelganger. She looked much more terrified than before and said, “Mom, who is she? Why does she look exactly like me?” The one in front of me smiled wickedly, she looked over Marie, and she began to laugh frighteningly. I ran over to Marie on the bed and hugged her tightly. She slowly stepped forward, the temperature in the room became cold as the lights began to flicker. I began to pray while Marie started crying.
Her eyes was looking at us, she stopped laughing and smiled devilishly. She’s about a few feet from us when the door burst open. We both screamed and saw my husband, “Save us!” He just looked at us weirdly, he said, “I got the new light bulb. The furnace is broken though, I’ll call a handyman.”
“What?” I looked at him confused, Marie already stopped crying.
“Oh, hey Dad!” Marie and the person that came from the closet said in unison.
He looked at me and Marie then to the doppelganger, “Maria, Marie, were putting on prank to your mom?”
“Honey, why are you keep on forgetting that you have twins?”
Maria came to me and hugged me as did Marie, “Sorry for the prank, Mom”
My husband came to me and hugged me as well, “It has been seven years, yet you still forget, but I will not stop loving you, I love you.”
“We love you, too, Mom,” Marie and Maria said, “Happy Halloween!” they sweetly smiled at me while I’m still in a state of shock.
Then I saw the door slowly closed.
“Yeah, I love you all.” I tried to laugh as fear began to kick in again. This is the worst and probably the last Halloween in this house.
Why would I like someone?
Is it worth the while?
Maybe it's not right.
Why would I risk my heart for something unsure?
That the time will come that no one will be my side.
They say,"Love is unpredictable"
I know it is.
I'm just afraid that I'll be all alone,
That I'll never have a chance to experience love
It is foolish to talk about my feelings and no one will understand.
So, I hide my emotions and lock it deep inside of me.
My friends say, "Just be yourself, don't think about the future."
But how am I supposed to focus on my present?
When I don't know what will happen tomorrow?
Will someone accept me for who I am?
Will I wait for him to come?
My friends told me, "Love comes at the right time,
and I'll never notice that I'm already falling deep."
True love is immeasurable.
Or maybe I'd already walk passed him
and there is no chance that we'll meet.
No words can explain the fear that I'm feeling.
but, Hellen Keller said"The most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched,
they must felt with the heart"
So, shall I start my quest for that thing called love?
Or shall I let my fear conquer me?
One time, I was sitting on the window, and saw an old couple holding hands as they passed by, a mom carrying her child, a guy with a dog playing fetch, and then, I saw a boy, almost the same age as mine, walking slowly, looking up in the sky, enjoying the clouds while listening to his music. I looked at him carefully, he looked peaceful. A small smile spread across his face, as he closed his eyes while the wind blew. I wonder, "Is there something to be happy about?" I, too, looked at the sky and let the breeze touch me. I suddenly closed my eyes and enjoy the cold breeze hug me like I'm on cloud 9 and remembered my happy memories. When I opened my eyes, I saw the boy at the front of our house, looking at me. Shocked and embarrassed, I waved at him and he shouted, "Hey, you got a beautiful smile. " Confused, I got outside our house and went to him, "Why would you think I have a beautiful smile?" I asked, he looked again in the sky and said, "In life, you should be thankful and happy for the small things, a little walk outside while enjoying the view will brighten your day." He looked at me, smiled and added, "Can you walk with me? A beautiful day is ahead of us, it's very lovely to share it with someone." I said, "Sure, but do something bad and I'll do something very very bad", we both laughed and told our names as we walked in the neighborhood.
There are so many things to be happy about, a little time with someone, telling your funny memories with each other, but don't forget to face your problems, be strong and always think positive.
Drowning in his Eyes
Staring at the mirror,
Seeing someone who isn't me
Looking deep in its eyes,
I see a monster, myself.
Deeper, I saw my demons,
Grinning like cheshire cat,
Whispering all my wrong doings,
Sins that haunted me.
There's no way to hide.
Protecting myself from others,
yet, looking much deeper,
I saw a blur, a person.
Confused, I started to wonder,
Is that the person that will accept me?
Will he be the light in the darkness?
Be the thorns of his rose?
Be the boat in a stormy sea?
Or will he lead me to a much greater grief?
To a place with no escape,
Caged by his arms,
choked from his sweet nothing,
and drowned by something in his eyes.
Either way, my demons are already taking control...
A Hole in a Broken World
Can't seem to forget,
Still remembering the moment.
Far away from me,
And slowly drifting apart.
We're like parallel lines,
Lines that will never intersect,
No chance of return.
In different dimension,
No slightest chance of meeting.
Destiny will never knock on my door,
No one will.
As I sleep with someone missing,
No one will miss me.
Sinking in the deepest depths of the ocean.
I never believed that love exists,
It would only give me heartaches.
I was fine with loneliness,
It wasn't worth the risks.
But one day, we met,
My heart started to beat rapidly,
My world stops, our eyes locked.
It felt weird and at the same,
I hope the feeling will last.
Is this what they call "Love"?
Should I believe that it's love?
That it exists? Should I take the risks?
Will you be the only exception?
Or live my life without you by my side
And let the loneliness sink in?