Pure rage, pure anger,

Words do not spell out

the urge I have to throttle

the urge I have to take by the ear

the urge I have to make life miserable.

I won't do these things,

I won't commit these crimes;

instead I'll keep myself quiet,

I'll sit in silent rage

and make you feel the flames through my stare.

F**k you.

I try my best,

But it’s never enough,

“Keep trying” they say,

But what if I’m done with trying?

I try my best,

And it’s never enough,

So why don’t you try and

Prove you’re better?

Maybe then you’ll realize,

That you have high expectations,

And that the best won’t work,

You need perfection.

Perfection is something

I don’t have, do you?

It takes a lot of trying your best,

And failing anyway.

Just give me a chance

And you will see,

That perfection is coming,

To me.

-EJ

I will place a hand on their shoulder

and firmly push them back;

No longer will they get to tell me

that I am nothing.

They shouldn’t have been able to

except I let their words encase;

I should have shoved and kicked

that still doesn’t make me something.

It doesn’t make me anything more

or make me any better.

You can’t fight hate with hate;

bruises for bruises will break the world’s bones;

ice the bruise, get up

stand up.

For a bruise, give a glare -

for a broken bone, give a shout -

for an open wound, give a soliloquy -

for a murder, send an army;

But not to kill.

To explain.

To make them learn.

Writing hasn't been easy

I've been struggling with certain things

Putting words to my feelings

truly has been a challenge

Although I have been struggling

there is also some good come out of it

But good that I cannot speak of

for I am not sure any longer

I apologize for my absence

please don't think I've left

I'm still here

I'm still weird

I still want to write

But I just don't feel right.

"When you try your best,

But don't succeed,"

Try again,

Improve 'your best.'

Learn from your,

Mistakes and failures,

They are your teachers.

Don't let a failure,

Hold you back,

From what you can,

Do or be.

Take this as an,

Opportunity to better,

Yourself inside and out.

Let go,

Don't be afraid.

Seven billion people

faces

brains

hearts

yet I get to be on this earth

with you.

And Chadwick Boseman.

3...

2…

1…

SLAM

Your hand stings and turns red as it slaps across the table but it was all worth it. For you got the card. The precious ace of spades. The last one you need.

“One up!” you shout with excitement before anyone else can. Now onto your next challenge. In your hands you hold two sevens and two threes. You glance up quickly and see both sitting there on the table. You know you need to act fast but what card do you go for. You have to make your move so you slap the table once more and grab the three. Only one more. You see the card slowly fall from your opponent's hand and with cat like reflexes you slap again.

“Two up!” only one more. In your last group, a six, a four, and two eights. You wait patiently until one gets placed down but your opponent is going for the same card. You have to beat them to it. Your hand moves so fast that you can barely see it and once it slaps the table it instantly turns red and stings again but now only one left. Out of the corner of your eye you see it. The eight of hearts, the final card you need. As you snatch it up quickly, you jump up and shout at the top of your lungs,

“STRESS!!!”

I want you,

But without the parts of you that hurt to love.

I want your hands,

When they aren't clenched in fists,

But nestled in mine.

I want your love,

Until it turns to anger.

I want your heart,

But only the part that loves me.

I want your eyes,

Until the tears form in the corners.

I want you,

But not your whole.

When you’re young, you see the world as this huge beautiful place and you think you can be anything you want. You don’t get judged for your hopes and dreams. Your biggest problem is when you'll be able to take a nap. You never fear what people think about you or if you look good enough. When we were young, no one cared what you liked to do or who you hung out with. Why now? Why does it matter what grades I have, why does it matter if I don’t hang out with people who you think are “popular”. Why am I called a teachers pet for listening and doing what i'm told?

I want to be accepted for who I am not forced to change. I don’t want people to freak out like it's the craziest thing that ever happened if they get a better grade than me or if I forget something.

I’M NOT PERFECT!

I want to go to school and do my best. I want to hang out with my friends and play cards and not have to worry about what others think. I want to not be afraid of what people will say when I make a mistake.

I’M NOT PERFECT!

I want to go to school and not get mocked and teased for trying my best and having pride in my work. I don’t want to worry about people trying to mess me up or destroy my work because they think its funny.

I’M NOT PERFECT!

So stop acting like I have to be. Stop judging me for everything I do.

What I want more than anything in the world, is for everyone to be accepted and respected. For no one to have to worry about what others think or say. For no one to be afraid of being themselves.

Please

If you sing to the mermaids, they come when you're drowning

slender tails through water

like limbs through air

They will rush to save you when you think it might end

nimble fingers reach

and no longer are you scared

Sing high, sing low, sing whatever you know

pointy ears will perk up

and dainty bodies swim

As your lips tremble while you struggle to keep breath

thin jaws tremor

as they lift you up to their chin

Elegant and charming, nearly scary but sure,

tight fists drag you

while swooping through waves

You are dragged through the water, in and out, up and down

bright grey eyes dart to you

as you tumble your way

Seducingly fierce yet terrifically magical

strong arms pull you up

breath life to you, hearts pounding

You may have thought your last breath was a note before death

but if you sing to the mermaids

they come when you're drowning