i know i am envious

of the one you call yours

because i am honest with myself

i know i am still confused

by the way you replace your lovers

because i was once a new installment for you

i love who i have lost

and i miss that person dearly

but they were never going to be good enough

for my vibrant heart that sang for them only

and here i put myself again

beginning another chapter

one where flowers will bloom all year

one where the cold is erased from my memory

my days used to begin and end with someone that wasn’t me

but now i am my first thought

breath

action

every morning

and every night i cease with myself at heart

i rise for the sun and it for me

the moon pulls me and the stars scream for my love

i am.