Sampling little dabs,

dribs and drabs

of all that's left,

guilty of theft -

stealing my heart,

insanity raising

its ugly head

as you

whisper on

my bawdy red lips.

Dribbling, nibbling,

lightning sparks on

mirrored walls

inside my core,

wanting more

setting me aflame.

I scrub you off

but you stick

in cellophane strips,

tight velcro grips,

snagged onto

my eager skin.

You drain my brain

your bones enmeshed,

crescendo building

inside my body,

enveloping my soul,

clouding my spirit,

dragging chains,

entrapping me,

driving me INSANE.

#Challenge #Derailed #Crazy

we'd meet in the swimming pool with blue-green square tiled walls and no water

every tuesday at 2am

and we'd lie down spreadeagled on the floor of the pool

wondering what it would feel like

if we were lying flat under 15,000 litres of water

and then you'd laugh

and i'd laugh too but only because you laughed

and i love the way your eyes crinkle

and you'd say that it's nice somehow

to dream about being trapped but actually being free

because you usually stay awake at night

thinking of things the other way round,

trying to run away from life

and i would say me too

and then we'd be still and silent for a little while

just being happy with eachother and forgetting about all there is to think and care about.

one day you pulled me closer

and i rolled to your side

and you pressed your mouth to my ear and whispered

my momma found out about us last tuesday

and she told me not to come here anymore

and this might probably be the last time we can be like this so

please, Even,

can i give you a kiss?

your kiss would be our very first and last kiss

that i had dreamt about for many nights

so i said yes, of course, i love you

and i wanted to close my eyes but i didn't because i had to see you.

it tasted like the cheap mint chewing gum

that you get from the corner store near your house

and that i would start to get

every friday onwards

because i never wanted to forget the taste of you.

and then we would stop staring into the night sky through the metal wire

chain-link fence beside the pool

and we'd climb out

and we'd hug because we were tired of waiting till tuesdays to hold eachother

and then we would start making our ways home,

out of the alley, you and i walking half of the highway

then splitting up down two smaller streets

then turning and turning farther away from where we remember seeing the other

until i wouldn't be able to chase after you and find you

even if i tried

because you'd be too far gone

and that's how things were.

that's how things were supposed to be.

i could never find you and you could never find me.

we could only ever find the street sign where our lives intersected

and trust in the other to be there too

and pretend for a night

that we would never lose eachother

and that we'd always be kids

and that we'd always live where we did

and that we could always come to this street sign at 2am on tuesdays when we needed a friend

and that our parents would never find out

and that we could hold eachother for as long as we ever wanted or needed to

and that we loved eachother

because

didn't we?

didn't we love eachother so, so much?

didn't our love transcend the two small worlds we each lived in?

wasn't our love an infinity

that would never, ever die?

#verylongpost #poetry #congratsifyougotthroughthat #sweetyounglovethatneverlasts

In the dark

The shadows are my friend

They hide my pain

Rain falls gently

Calming my fears

As I reminisce of gentle raindrops

Drenching me

And summoning a smile

The rain is my friend

It washes away the hurt

And although it washes away the ink

The scars stay

A reminder of the pain

And a reminder to keep my head up

And catch the gentle drops

Because rain will come and go

The pain will come and go

And it's time for it to go

Why do you make me feel like a stranger in my own home.

As soon as I walk through the door, I feel all alone.

You sit there with a smile on your face, then you open your mouth.

The shit that comes out doesn't make sense, I have to run South.

I have to go take a walk or hop in the car, I have to get away from you, I have to run far.

I don't like to be around you, I don't like your face, I take one look at you and shake my head in disgrace. 

You have changed so much in these few short years, since we moved away, you brought me here to a new state and here we have to stay.  

You brought us here for a new start, to get away from it all, but instead of getting closer, we just grow apart.

You look at me with anger, you yell at me so loud, I take a deep breathe and ask you with pleading eyes, are you proud.

You are a angry man, just go away, I want you to leave and I want to stay.

This is my home now, a stranger no more, I want you to go, I don't want you here, you can leave by the door.

As I see you walk away, now I can relax, I finally can breathe again, I no longer feel attacked.

Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean I’m lonely.

Just because I’m different doesn’t mean I’m crazy.

Just because I’m selfless doesn’t mean I’m self-conscious.

Just because I don’t talk to you doesn’t mean I hate you.

Just because I smile doesn’t mean I’m happy.

Just because.