I left you a long time ago.
I checked out of the relationship,
long before I said the words.
And when I did say the words,
you didn’t want to hear me,
you didn’t want to acknowledge my feelings.
So you would promise to change,
and you would promise it would be different.
And after all your promises did not work, you would come over in the middle of the night.
And you wouldn’t leave until I talked to you.
And then you wouldn't leave until I stayed with you.
And I would take you back because I didn't want the hassle.
I didn't want to keep having the same conversations.
And when sometime would go by and nothing would change.
I would say, "I do not want to be with you, I want to break up. This is not what I want anymore. I do not want to be controlled anymore."
(Me just rambling)
We had our fun.
I know we did.
I wouldn’t have stayed in it for so long,
if we hadn’t.
But why can’t I remember
the good times.
The times you made me laugh,
I must have been happy,
Even a little...
To have stayed so many years.
Why can’t I remember the good times?
It should help
The feeling of your non beating heart in my hand should make me feel better.
Looking into your lifeless eyes should help me see better.
Listening to the silence that comes without your voice telling me I'm not good enough should help me hear better.
And knowing you no longer exist to ruin me should help me sleep better.