Addiction, my old friend

I know you well, though not as well as you know me--

my pores, my doubts, the soft places you sneak through,

the backdoors and siege tunnels into my life.

Ever present, especially when I cannot see you,

though it's never because you're not there,

it's just that sometimes (usually when things are going well) I forget to look.

Those are the times you lay me out cold. 

I forget to be vigilant, let my armor crack, so you pour into me through the fissures.

For a moment, I want to take comfort in your familiar embrace...

Then I remember who you are and what you do.

You know me well but I know you too.

So I patch all my holes and my chinks and my hollows

until there is nowhere for you to reach me.

But it never stops.

I can never let down my guard.

You're always waiting in the wings.

                 Watching...

                         Whispering...

                                  Wondering when I'll waver...

Perhaps, this time, I won't.